YOU ARE HOLDING TOO MANY CRUTCHES

A Healing Dialogue on Dependence Masquerading as Life

Setting: Madhukar’s quiet mud home in rural Karnataka. A neem tree shades the front yard. A koel sings in the background. Arun arrives, exhausted but restless.

I. THE ARRIVAL

Arun: Madhukar… I don’t know what I’ve become. I feel like I’m surrounded by things I can’t live without.

Madhukar: You’ve grown a hundred legs. But none are your own.

Arun: What do you mean?

Madhukar: Look around. Everything you call life — is a crutch. Without them, you collapse. But none of them help you walk naturally.

Arun: Can you explain? I thought these were needs.

Madhukar: They were sold as needs. But they’re just fears in disguise.

II. CRUTCHES OF THE BODY

Madhukar: Let's begin with your body. Tell me — can you sit on the floor comfortably?

Arun: Not really. My knees hurt.

Madhukar: Because chairs were your crutch. Now your own legs have forgotten their role.

Arun: But that’s normal, no?

Madhukar: That’s the problem. We normalize disability and call it lifestyle.

Arun: I see what you mean.

Madhukar: What about footwear? Without shoes, can you walk on soil?

Arun: It’s painful.

Madhukar: Crutch again. Your feet lost their memory. Your soles became spoiled. Your connection with the earth — cut.

III. CRUTCHES OF THE MIND

Madhukar: What’s the first thing you check when you wake up?

Arun: My phone.

Madhukar: Not your breath. Not your heartbeat. Not the sky. Your mind is crippled — leaning on constant stimulation.

Arun: It feels like if I don’t check it, I’m missing something.

Madhukar: Yes — you’re missing silence. And silence is unbearable to the addicted.

Arun: So even thinking clearly needs crutches now?

Madhukar: Most thoughts you think aren’t yours. They are forwarded chains of fear, gossip, fantasy, or anxiety.

Arun: But without them, I feel empty.

Madhukar: That’s not emptiness. That’s space. You’ve just never lived there before.

IV. CRUTCHES OF EMOTIONS

Arun: What about emotions? I thought feelings are real.

Madhukar: They are. But you use people to avoid feeling them. You fight, flirt, argue, post, joke — to run from the real feeling inside.

Arun: But I thought that’s what connection is?

Madhukar: No. That’s performance. Connection begins when you stop performing and sit with what is.

Arun: So I even use people as crutches?

Madhukar: Yes. You cling to praise to escape insecurity. You seek company to avoid loneliness. You offer advice to cover your own confusion.

Arun: This is difficult to hear.

Madhukar: Because the mirror is clean.

V. CRUTCHES OF SECURITY

Arun: But some crutches are necessary — like money, home, job.

Madhukar: Are they necessary — or just fear-polished attachments?

Arun: I don’t want to be homeless.

Madhukar: You live in a home. But you’re never home — inside. That’s the bigger homelessness.

Arun: Without money, how can I survive?

Madhukar: True. But survival is not the same as obsession. Today, people are not surviving. They are hoarding, fearing, scheming.

Arun: That’s true. Even after saving, I feel unsafe.

Madhukar: Because money became your crutch — not your tool.

VI. CRUTCHES OF IDENTITY

Madhukar: Who are you, Arun?

Arun: I’m… an engineer. A father. A citizen.

Madhukar: Those are roles. Not you.

Arun: Then who am I?

Madhukar: That’s the question you’ve avoided for decades. So you created identities to stand on.

Arun: You mean I used them as crutches?

Madhukar: Yes. Without them, you fear falling into the void.

Arun: Maybe that’s why I keep trying to prove myself.

Madhukar: To whom?

Arun: I don’t even know anymore.

VII. THE SPIRITUAL CRUTCHES

Arun: Even spirituality feels like a crutch sometimes.

Madhukar: It has become one. People don’t seek truth — they seek tools to control uncertainty.

Arun: Like astrology, mantras, fasting rituals?

Madhukar: Nothing wrong with them. But when used to escape, not enter, life — they’re crutches.

Arun: Then what is real spirituality?

Madhukar: Walking without support. Living without escape. Meeting life naked — no illusions.

VIII. THE WITHDRAWAL

Arun: What happens when I give up these crutches?

Madhukar: You will tremble. You will fall. You will cry. You will feel like you’re dying.

Arun: That’s terrifying.

Madhukar: Yes. Because your ego lives on these crutches. And when you drop them, the ego loses its skeleton.

Arun: And after that?

Madhukar: You will begin to stand. For the first time.

IX. THE RETURN TO WHOLENESS

Arun: What should I do now?

Madhukar: One crutch at a time.

• Sit on the floor daily.

• Walk barefoot sometimes.

• Eat without distractions.

• Listen without replying.

• Face boredom.

• Stop fixing others.

• Drop one false label every week.

Arun: That sounds painful.

Madhukar: Yes. But pain from healing is better than comfort from illusion.

X. THE FINAL WISDOM

Madhukar: Arun… A crutch may help the broken. But if you never heal, You will forget you had legs.