WHY YOU WANT SO MUCH: THE DISEASE OF ENDLESS DESIRE

You don’t want because you need — you want because you were programmed to. From childhood, your desires were shaped by systems that profit from your discontent: schools, media, jobs, religion, capitalism. Every stage of life sells you new cravings — marks, money, marriage, meaning — keeping you trapped in a cycle where every fulfilled want births another. Even noble desires like helping others or healing are often disguised performances to gain worth. This essay exposes wanting as an artificial, learned disease that robs your presence, health, peace, and freedom — showing that real liberation begins not by fulfilling desires, but by deeply observing and dismantling them.

INTRODUCTION:

You don’t want because you need.

You want because you were trained, conditioned, and trapped into believing that not wanting means failure.

This is not instinct.

This is not evolution.

This is not progress.

This is indoctrination.

From baby rattle to deathbed wishes, every stage of your life has been hooked to a want.

This essay will slowly dismantle that machinery.

Layer by layer.

Without fluff.

Without hope.

Just clarity.

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LAYER 1: WANTING IS NOT NATURAL

No wild animal wants endlessly.

They eat when hungry.

They sleep when tired.

They mate when ready.

They run only when chased.

Nature teaches sufficiency.

But humans were separated from nature.

Taught that sufficiency is shameful.

You were told:

Eat more.

Do more.

Be more.

Buy more.

And in doing so, you stopped being human.

You became a consumer in a market of illusions.

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LAYER 2: CHILDHOOD WANTS WERE NOT YOURS

You wanted toys because you were shown them.

You wanted good marks because you were praised for them.

You wanted to win because losing was punished.

Every single want was installed.

None of your earliest desires were born from the body’s wisdom.

They were copied from your caregivers, your peers, your media.

That “I want” voice inside you?

It’s not yours.

It was planted there by others who were themselves manipulated.

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LAYER 3: SYSTEMS NEED YOU TO WANT

Let’s expose the real machinery.

Schools need you to want marks and ranks — otherwise, they collapse.

Colleges need you to want jobs — otherwise, they lose purpose.

Jobs need you to want salary and promotions — or there’s no obedience.

Corporations need you to want brands — or they go bankrupt.

Governments need you to want progress — or they lose control.

Religions need you to want salvation — or they become irrelevant.

Influencers need you to want to be like them — or they lose followers.

You see?

Your want is their fuel.

Your emptiness is their gold mine.

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LAYER 4: THE WANTS NEVER END

You thought once you get that job, you’ll be done.

You thought after marriage, you’ll feel settled.

You thought after buying the house, peace would come.

You thought after having a child, life would feel complete.

But every fulfilled want births a new want.

You’re on a conveyor belt of craving.

Even your spirituality becomes a wanting:

Wanting to be detached

Wanting to be liberated

Wanting to be enlightened

The self becomes another brand you chase.

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LAYER 5: WANTING IS THE ROOT OF MODERN ILLNESS

Your anxiety is not caused by problems.

It’s caused by too many wants.

Your stress is not because of hard work.

It’s because of unending targets.

Your dissatisfaction is not because life is unfair.

It’s because life refuses to meet the delusions of your wanting mind.

Your body, your gut, your breath, your heartbeat — they all suffer when the mind is never allowed to rest.

Even while you sleep, the wanting continues:

Dreams of success

Fears of failure

Fantasies of pleasure

Nightmares of loss

This is a deep mental slavery.

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LAYER 6: THE MOST DANGEROUS WANTS ARE THE NICEST LOOKING

Some wants look innocent:

Wanting to help others

Wanting to raise good children

Wanting to build a better world

But if examined closely, most of them are:

Ego traps

Guilt reactions

Social reward mechanisms

You want to be a good parent — but at what cost?

You want to be helpful — but are you bleeding yourself?

You want to do good — but does it make you cruel when others don’t follow?

These noble wants often cause the most silent suffering.

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LAYER 7: EVERY WANT IS A DISTRACTION FROM THIS MOMENT

Every single want takes you away from:

The body

The breath

The tree outside

The person next to you

The work in your hands

It is impossible to want and be present at the same time.

Wanting is always for the future.

The next thing.

The better version.

The upgrade.

And in chasing it, you kill your presence.

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LAYER 8: THE SICK CULTURE OF “MORE”

You are praised when you want more.

You are mocked when you are content.

You are respected when you chase.

You are called lazy when you stop.

Even words like “ambitious,” “visionary,” “driven” —

They are just codewords for enslaved by wants.

Contentment is treated as a problem.

Simplicity is seen as failure.

And so, you lie to yourself to fit in:

> “I just want to grow.”

“I want to live fully.”

“I want to make an impact.”

No.

You just don’t know how to stop wanting.

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LAYER 9: EVEN YOUR DESIRE TO HEAL IS A WANT

You came here because you want to stop wanting.

But let’s be honest — even this is a want.

A noble one. A necessary one.

But still… a want.

So what’s the answer?

Not in more spiritual techniques.

Not in controlling thoughts.

Not in rejecting all desires.

But in deep, daily observation of how your wants:

Arise

Manipulate you

Disguise themselves

Exhaust you

Make you lie, chase, please, perform

And one day, through this relentless clarity, something breaks.

Not with effort.

But through collapse.

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LAYER 10: THE DAY YOU STOP WANTING

You do not become a sage.

You do not become a monk.

You do not become someone great.

You just become available to reality.

You see your child’s eyes without needing them to become something.

You eat rice and pickle without craving variety.

You walk under the sun and feel no lack.

You sit with your broken relationships and feel no urgency to fix.

You are not free because you fulfilled your wants.

You are free because you stopped believing in them.

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CONCLUSION: YOU WERE NOT BORN TO WANT

You were born to be.

To feel the soil.

To hear the wind.

To rest when tired.

To play when free.

To love without agendas.

But you were hijacked.

By schools.

By families.

By systems.

By leaders.

By goals.

You were taught that to want is to be alive.

Now, it is time to unlearn wanting.

And begin being.

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“YOU WANT TOO MUCH, ASSHOLE”

(inspired by the essay “Why You Want So Much”)

---

you weren't born with a wallet in your hand.

you were born crying, naked, blinking

at a world that already had plans for you.

first it dangled a rattle.

then a report card.

then a salary.

then a coffin.

---

they taught you to want

like they taught a dog to sit.

but the dog still scratches his balls,

while you?

you suppress every itch

because it might not look civilized.

---

you want a home

but your legs forgot how to sit on dirt.

you want love

but can’t even look a street dog in the eye.

you want peace

but your phone buzzes more than your brain.

you want enlightenment

but panic if your Wi-Fi drops.

---

they dressed up desire

in clean fonts and shiny wrappers.

“growth,”

“achievement,”

“purpose.”

you bought all of it.

and now you’re choking

on your own wants,

like a starving man eating his own fist.

---

the old man on the footpath

chews dry peanuts with more peace

than your goddamn wellness retreat.

he doesn't want your green juice.

he doesn't want your TED Talk.

he just wants shade.

and he gets it.

under a leaking plastic sheet.

that you’d call "pathetic."

but he sleeps.

you don’t.

---

want is a drug they put in your sippy cup.

you were high before you could crawl.

and now you’re overdosing on dreams

that aren't even yours.

---

look at your resume.

then look at your hands.

one is filled with words

no one believes.

the other is empty.

but real.

---

you want the child to win medals

before she learns to breathe.

you want your lover to be a saint

but fuck like a pornstar.

you want your food to taste like heaven

and digest like air.

you want to meditate in silence

but you can't survive without Spotify.

---

you call this ambition.

I call it addiction.

they're kissing cousins, baby.

one just has better branding.

---

you think you’re alive

because you chase.

but a dog chases cars, too.

doesn’t make him a philosopher.

---

someday —

when your joints ache

and your breath stutters

and the bank balance still isn’t enough —

you’ll sit on your king-sized regret

and whisper:

"maybe I didn’t need all that."

but no one will hear.

they’ll be busy chasing

what you left behind.

---

wanting isn’t your fault.

believing in it is.

---

drop it.

burn the brochure.

tear the self-help books.

eat the same damn rice and pickle

till it stops needing variety.

and for once,

just once,

be nobody.

and you’ll feel something

no shopping cart, no god,

no fucking guru ever sold:

enoughness.

---

you want too much, asshole.

and it’s killing you quietly.

with a plastic smile.

and a touchscreen.

now shut up.

and listen.

to nothing.

because that’s where life is hiding.

---

---

“THE FAMILY THAT WANTED TOO MUCH”

Setting: Under the tamarind tree near Madhukar’s mud home, birds call from far off, a soft fire crackles beside a pot of boiling herbs. The family of five—father Ramesh, mother Lata, their teenage son Karthik, grown-up daughter Meera, and grandfather Appanna—sit in silence. A small rustle announces Adhya and Anju, Madhukar’s daughters, skipping across with wild guavas and an old steel tumbler of buttermilk.

---

Ramesh:

We thought we were doing everything right, Madhukar.

Degrees, houses, promotions…

But we’re more miserable than we were in that 1BHK twenty years ago.

Lata:

We gave them the best of everything.

And now we’re scared of our own children.

Karthik:

You should be.

I have three timers on my phone: one for studying, one for screen breaks, and one for pretending to meditate because you told me to.

Meera:

They always said, “We didn’t have all this, we suffered for you.”

Now I suffer with all this.

The job, the expectations… and the word settled.

I don’t even know what that means anymore.

---

Appanna:

Settled?

It means your butt is stuck so deep in a plastic chair that you don’t know how to squat anymore.

That’s your problem.

Not mine.

---

(Adhya pops her head out from behind Madhukar’s back.)

Adhya (whispering to Anju):

They brought laptops to the forest.

I saw it. They were hiding it like a snack.

Anju:

I heard them call Google Maps “Guruji.”

I think they’re lost in many ways.

---

Madhukar (smiling):

You see, Ramesh…

You didn’t chase too much.

You just never asked:

Why am I chasing this at all?

---

Ramesh:

But isn’t it normal to want progress?

Madhukar:

Progress isn’t the problem.

Disconnection is.

You bought your daughter a car

but didn’t see her crying into the steering wheel.

You sent your son to coding class

before he learned to feel boredom.

---

Lata:

We just didn’t want them to struggle like us.

Madhukar:

So you gave them everything except the ability to sit with struggle.

That is not love.

That is fear wearing lipstick.

---

Meera:

I smile in the office.

I post sunsets on Instagram.

But most days, I just want to lie face-down and disappear.

Madhukar:

You are not weak.

You’re just tired from carrying 10 lives in one body.

Let some of them die.

---

Karthik:

What if I stop running and get left behind?

Anju (loudly):

That’s fine.

We’ll wait for you.

And feed you mud apples.

---

Appanna:

You people worry too much.

We used to eat dry rice and laugh for hours.

Now your food has 30 ingredients and still tastes like guilt.

---

Lata:

So how do we come back?

Madhukar:

Not with effort.

With less effort.

Sit together without agenda.

Walk without destination.

Let your children sulk.

Let your elders mock.

Let the ambitions rot.

You’ll start smelling something again.

It’s called… life.

---

Adhya (giggling):

Appa, can I sell this advice in a bottle for Rs. 50?

Madhukar:

Only if you add a sticker that says: “Want less, fart more.”

---

(Everyone laughs. Even Karthik.)

---

Meera:

What if the damage is already done?

Madhukar:

The damage woke you up.

That’s enough.

Now sit in that ruin.

And don’t redecorate it.

You’ll see, from under the cracks,

roots will start growing again.

---

(The fire crackles. Nobody reaches for their phone. Anju hands buttermilk to Meera. For the first time, no one says, “What’s next?”)

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"THE FAMILY THAT WANTED TOO MUCH" — 3 MONTHS & 1 YEAR LATER

(Simple narration in two parts. Realistic, warm, humorous, and grounded in daily Indian life.)

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AFTER 3 MONTHS

Setting: A simple rented house near a mango grove on the outskirts of Bidar. No AC, no sofa set, no microwave. Just a wooden cot, red oxide floor, and the sound of birds outside.

---

Narrator’s Voice:

It’s been three months since Ramesh and Lata visited Madhukar.

They didn’t become saints.

They didn’t renounce the world.

They just started noticing life.

---

Ramesh now walks to the weekly santhe instead of buying online.

He chats with sellers, not scanning QR codes.

He cooks once a week, chopping vegetables like he’s cutting away ambition.

He still works—part time, remotely.

But for the first time, he doesn’t say, “I’m busy.”

---

Lata quit her school job after twenty years.

Now she teaches three kids under a neem tree in exchange for vegetables.

She no longer says “my children” and means only Meera and Karthik.

She means all children.

---

Karthik broke his phone.

They didn’t replace it.

He sulked for a week, discovered an abandoned cycle, fixed it, and started delivering herbal teas made by his grandfather.

People in the village now call him “kashayada boss.”

---

Meera didn’t return to the city.

She now manages a seed exchange group with local women.

She writes poems on torn cardboard.

They’re terrible. But they’re hers.

One went viral in the village WhatsApp group.

The title?

“Chasing Nothing and Finding Myself in a Cow Shed.”

---

Appanna just laughs.

He sits on a stone, chews betel leaves, and says,

“Finally they’re all unemployed in the right way.”

---

Adhya and Anju visit once a week.

They bring wild jamun, monkey stories, and more questions than answers.

They poke fun at Karthik’s hair, steal Meera’s books, and teach Lata how to spot birds instead of exam marks.

They whisper to each other:

> “They’re healing, akka. Slowly… like pickle in sunlight.”

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AFTER 1 YEAR

Setting: A shared farmland, where the family lives in two small mud huts. One cow. One solar panel. A hand-pump. Chickens they name after Bollywood actors.

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Narrator’s Voice:

One year later, no one knows what “want” even means anymore.

---

Ramesh says:

> “I wanted to be respected. Now, the postman smiles and that's enough.”

Lata says:

> “I used to want smart children. Now, I just want children who laugh while sweeping the floor.”

Karthik says:

> “I don’t want a career. I want clean fingernails and no back pain.”

Meera says:

> “I don’t want a soulmate. I want a soul that mates well with silence.”

Appanna says:

> “Finally, my family has become rustic enough to understand a dog’s mood.”

---

Their diet:

Ragi mudde, leafy sabzi, tamarind chutney, wild bananas.

Sometimes no dinner.

No one complains.

Even hunger feels honest now.

---

They keep one phone.

It lives in a steel dabba marked “For Emergencies and Madhukar’s Jokes Only.”

---

They earn little.

But they have everything:

Time.

Touch.

Tears.

Truth.

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And when someone asks,

> “Don’t you want more?”

They laugh and say,

> “We had more. That’s why we came here.”

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