WHY YOU ARE SCARED OF HOMESCHOOLING?
- Madhukar Dama
- 15 hours ago
- 7 min read
A simple truth from a father in Bidar
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IT HAPPENED AT A GROCERY STORE IN BIDAR
It was one of those rare days when I took my daughters along to the store.
We stood in line, quietly waiting with a half-full cart.
Behind us, three adults were talking loudly—two seemed like schoolteachers, the third a mother.
They were laughing about homeschoolers.
Calling us controlling.
Saying our kids must be behind, awkward, not fit for the real world.
They didn’t know I was one of “those” parents.
That my daughters have been homeschooled from birth.
That we live a different kind of life, quietly, with care.
I didn’t interrupt.
I just let it sting.
And I let it teach me something deeper.
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1. YOU FOLLOWED THE SYSTEM WITHOUT QUESTIONING IT
In India, most people send their child to school because it’s the only thing they know.
School, tuition, coaching—it all seems normal.
And for many families, it’s the only practical option.
We understand that. We respect that.
But homeschooling parents did something different.
We stopped and asked, “Is this really helping my child grow?”
That single question makes people nervous.
Because if we are right, it means others may have followed a system without thinking twice.
We didn’t choose homeschooling to control our children.
We chose it to take full responsibility.
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2. YOU THINK OUR CHILDREN ARE WEIRD—BUT THEY ARE JUST FREE
People often say homeschooled kids are strange.
Maybe they are.
But strange is not always bad.
Our daughters are not trying to impress anyone.
They ask questions.
They speak clearly.
They know how to enjoy silence.
They are comfortable with old people and young children.
They are learning to think for themselves.
This might look “weird” in a world where many children only know how to copy others.
But we are okay with that.
We don’t want them to fit in.
We want them to grow strong from the inside.
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3. YOU ARE SCARED TO BE WITH YOUR CHILD ALL DAY
This is the part no one says out loud.
Many parents love their children—but are scared of being with them the whole day.
They are afraid of:
Boredom
Tantrums
Endless questions
Having no time for themselves
Not knowing what to teach
Homeschooling forces us to face all of this.
We struggle too.
But we stay.
We walk through it with our children.
We are not scared of being with them.
We are scared of losing them to a fast system that makes them distant, tired, and unsure of themselves.
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4. YOU THINK SCHOOL IS THE REAL WORLD
People often ask, “How will your child survive in the real world?”
But what is the real world?
In today’s India, the real world is:
People working jobs they don’t enjoy
People scared of silence
People who argue without listening
People who cannot spend one hour without a screen
People chasing marks, money, or marriage without knowing why
We are not preparing our daughters for that world.
We are preparing them to see it clearly.
To live with calm minds, strong hearts, and courage to stand alone if needed.
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5. YOU THINK SOCIAL MEANS CROWD
You say homeschool kids are not “social”.
But what does that really mean?
Going to a classroom with 40 students doesn’t teach real social skills.
Real social learning means:
Listening
Speaking clearly
Knowing how to say no
Respecting others
Helping someone without showing off
Apologising when wrong
Our daughters are learning all of this.
Not by being in a big group all day.
But by spending time with real people, in real situations.
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6. YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH OUR FREEDOM
Maybe you also once wanted a slower life.
More time with your child.
More peace.
But you had to work.
Or had no support.
Or felt too afraid to try something different.
We understand that too.
Still, when you see us doing it—learning slowly, living simply, spending time with our daughters—something inside you feels strange.
That’s not hate.
That’s pain.
That’s a small voice saying, “Maybe another way was possible.”
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7. YOU SECRETLY ENVY US—AND THAT’S OKAY
You may laugh at us.
You may whisper behind our backs.
But somewhere, you admire us too.
Not because we are perfect.
We are not.
But because we are present.
We are building something real, day by day, in a quiet corner of this noisy world.
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8. YES, HOMESCHOOLING IS STILL UNUSUAL IN INDIA
There is no clear government law for homeschooling in India.
But there are many families like ours.
Living quietly, teaching responsibly, raising children with love, truth, and care.
We are not breaking the system.
We are just choosing a different way—one child at a time.
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FINAL WORD
So yes, you laughed in the grocery line.
You didn’t know we were standing right in front of you.
But it’s okay.
We’re not doing this for attention.
We’re doing it because we believe childhood is precious.
Because we want our daughters to grow up with clarity, courage, and compassion.
Because we want to give them a life that is real—not rushed.
Homeschooling is not easy.
But it is worth it.
Our daughters are not being trained to obey.
They are being raised to think.
And one day, when they grow up and walk out into the world…
They will know exactly who they are.
And that, more than marks or medals, is what truly matters.
THE ONES WHO STAYED AWAKE
they talked loud
behind me in the line—
eggs, oil, soap,
and small men with big laughs
who don’t know how to speak softly
about things they don’t understand.
they said we were controlling.
they said our kids would be awkward.
they said the real world would chew them up
and spit out the bones
while their own children were at home
copying answers from last year’s guidebook
and learning how not to ask questions.
i stood there, with two daughters beside me,
holding garlic and courage,
thinking of the million quiet mornings
that led us here.
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we did not run away.
we just stayed home.
we watched rain fall on the neem leaves
instead of rushing to uniforms and bells.
we read under trees.
we spilled flour while measuring.
we cried over long division.
we laughed at nothing.
we failed without shame.
we learned without deadline.
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you see,
i am not afraid of my daughters being behind.
i am afraid of them never knowing who they are.
of growing up fluent in english but unable to speak the truth.
of chasing jobs they hate,
men who lie,
degrees they forget,
and applause that never comes.
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they say we’re weird.
good.
let them say it.
normal is tired.
normal is bitter.
normal is crying in traffic,
scrolling past life.
normal is coaching centres with no coaching in life.
normal is a thousand “good mornings” on WhatsApp
and zero honest conversations at dinner.
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yes, our girls are weird.
they don’t know shame yet.
they know how to look an old woman in the eye.
they know how to kill a chicken
and how to say no without guilt.
they know patience.
they know boredom.
they know how to sit with both.
can yours?
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you say we are scared.
yes, we are.
we are scared of missing their childhood.
scared of handing them to strangers
who see them as numbers,
ranks,
percentiles.
scared of their silence becoming permanent.
we are scared of trading 18 years of childhood
for one seat in a corporate firm
with no windows.
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you think school is the real world?
i’ve seen that world.
people who can't be alone.
people with three degrees
but no sense of wonder.
people with full wallets and empty hearts.
people waiting for Friday.
people terrified of truth.
if that's the real world,
we are not preparing them for it.
we are preparing them to change it.
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i am not raising workers.
i am not raising obedient citizens.
i am raising poets
who can cook,
who can climb,
who can say “I don’t know” without shame,
who can sit still when it rains
and listen to the madness of the wind.
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do you want to know how it feels?
to homeschool?
it feels like failure
most mornings.
like walking barefoot through fog.
like whispering into the dark:
“am i doing this right?”
and then suddenly—
a moment.
a sentence.
a spark in their eyes.
a question you didn’t plant.
a truth they discovered on their own.
and it all makes sense.
for a second.
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homeschooling is slow.
it is holy.
it is blood, and bananas,
and long silent walks.
it is repeating the same maths page for five days.
it is watching them argue with grace.
it is watching them lose with dignity.
it is life.
with the volume turned down
and the light turned up.
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and no, we are not barefoot.
we are not tribal.
we are not anti-school.
we are not trying to prove anything.
we just chose
to stay
with our children
a little longer.
to carry their questions
a little deeper.
to share our time
instead of outsourcing it.
---
so yes,
laugh at us in grocery lines.
call us strange.
shake your head.
we don’t need your permission.
we are not hiding from the world.
we are showing our daughters
how to face it with a straight spine
and a full heart.
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and one day—
when your child is chasing a job,
a score,
a marriage,
a therapist—
mine will be chasing the sunrise
with a tiffin box,
a poem,
and the memory of a life
that was whole.
---
we are not the brave ones.
we are just the ones
who stayed awake.
