WHO MADE YOU A WORKOHOLIC?
- Madhukar Dama
- May 19
- 10 min read
YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELF — ONLY ABOUT WORK
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INTRODUCTION: YOU ARE A PRODUCT
You were never raised as a free human being.
You were manufactured as a worker.
From the moment you began to walk, you were told to “do something,” “become someone,” and “not waste time.”
You were not allowed to rest without guilt.
You were not allowed to explore without fear.
You were not allowed to exist without a label.
You became a livelihood machine, not a life.
And every system around you — your school, parents, gurus, society, and even your own insecurities — trained you to believe that work is your identity.
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1. SCHOOL: WHERE YOUR SELF WAS KILLED FIRST
You weren’t asked what you felt.
You were asked what you scored.
You weren’t taught to observe your thoughts.
You were told to memorize other people’s thoughts.
You were not allowed to say “I want to sleep, draw, or just sit.”
You were punished for not working.
You were never taught how your mind or body works.
You were only taught how society works — and how to fit into it.
Result: You learned that “existence = performance.”
You became a robot with a report card.
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2. COLLEGE: WHERE YOUR WORK VALUE WAS FINALIZED
College didn’t teach you about life. It taught you to pick a cage: engineer, doctor, IAS, MBA, startup.
“Passion” became a fancy word.
What mattered was package.
Internships replaced reflection.
Hackathons replaced hobbies.
LinkedIn replaced letters.
The real education — about self-worth, relationships, emotions, body, sleep, food, boundaries — never happened.
Result: You became a more efficient robot. But more lost than ever.
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3. PARENTS: THE FIRST EMPLOYERS
Your parents didn’t raise you for freedom.
They raised you for security.
Their pride depended on your degree, salary, marriage, house, car — not on your inner health or emotional clarity.
They sacrificed their own lives to make you work — and expected you to do the same.
They never taught you to ask “What do I truly need?”
They taught you to chase what society rewards.
Result: You were guilt-trapped into believing that working endlessly is love, duty, and gratitude.
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4. CULTURE: WHERE REST IS LAZINESS AND BUSYNESS IS PRIDE
Our cultural slogans say “Karma is everything,” but never explain what karma really is.
You were never told that reflection, rest, joy, creativity, silence, or nature are valuable.
You were praised when you skipped meals for work.
You were admired when you got no sleep but cleared an exam.
We worship gods, but ignore their meditative, natural, slow lifestyles.
Our culture praises the “man who never rests” — but buries him early with a “He worked so hard” obituary.
Result: You developed a moral ego around overwork. You thought burnout is honour.
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5. RELATIVES: THE COMPARISON MACHINES
Your value was always measured against someone else:
“Look at Sharma’s son.”
“Reddy’s daughter is a doctor.”
“They already bought a flat.”
They never asked you what you want.
They only asked what you have.
They didn't care if you were suicidal.
They cared if you were “settled.”
Result: You started living for image, not integrity.
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6. MEDIA: YOUR INSECURITY SUPPLY CHAIN
From TV to social media, you were taught this equation:
More work = More success = More happiness.
You saw influencers working “hustle hours,” rich CEOs giving “5 AM productivity tips,” and ads telling you to “rise and grind.”
Rest was mocked.
Silence was empty.
Simplicity was poverty.
Result: You learned to hate yourself whenever you’re not achieving something.
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7. GURUS AND MOTIVATORS: SPIRITUALIZING THE SLAVERY
The modern gurus didn't free you.
They motivated you to serve the same system more enthusiastically.
“Do your karma without expectations” became:
“Keep doing what the system wants, and call it spiritual.”
They never said:
“Your suffering is real. The system is sick.”
They said:
“Your suffering is illusion. You need better mindset.”
Result: You became a cheerfully obedient slave — grateful for your own exploitation.
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8. GREED AND FEAR: THE LAST CHAINS
You started working to survive.
Then to compete.
Then to impress.
Then to not fall behind.
You feared being called a failure.
You feared being irrelevant.
You feared disappointing your parents, spouse, children.
So you work — even when you’re dying inside.
Result: Your soul is gone, but your boss is happy.
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9. WHAT YOU LOST IN THIS PROCESS
You never got to know your body.
You never heard your inner voice.
You never learned to just sit with yourself.
You never asked:
“What do I really need to live a good life?”
You think you’re a provider.
But you’ve been robbed — of time, peace, and self.
You think you’re smart.
But you’ve outsourced every decision about your life to someone else’s plan.
You think you’re successful.
But you can’t remember the last time you laughed without guilt.
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10. CAN YOU HEAL? YES — IF YOU DARE TO STOP.
You don’t need to quit your job today.
But you need to stop believing you are your job.
Your worth is not your income.
Your soul does not report to HR.
Your heart is not a productivity tool.
Your mind was not built for comparison.
And your life — this short, fragile, beautiful life — is not a LinkedIn story.
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FINAL WORD
They trained you to work.
Now train yourself to live.
Not someday — today.
Because everything you were taught to chase is someone else’s dream.
And everything you were taught to avoid — silence, rest, reflection, slowness — is where your real life begins.
—
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"THE WORK NEVER LEAVES ME" — A HEALING DIALOGUE WITH MADHUKAR
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Scene: At Madhukar’s forest hermitage. A simple hut, quiet trees. No clock ticks. No phone buzzes. The family arrives.
Raghu (father, 58):
Madhukar… I don’t know how to begin.
I worked my whole life. Now I’m retired. But my mind won’t stop.
It still keeps thinking: "What next? How to stay useful? What if money runs out?"
Devika (mother, 54):
He doesn’t sleep well. Always fidgeting.
Even in the village, he wants to build something, plant more, check prices.
Can’t sit peacefully. I think I’ve become like that too.
Arun (son, 28):
I’ve grown up watching them burn for others.
Now I can’t stop either. I work 10 hours a day. But even after shutting the laptop, my brain keeps racing.
Weekends are like Monday rehearsals. I hate it.
But… how do you even survive without constantly thinking about work?
Raji (daughter, 25):
I left my job. I tried. But everyone around made me feel useless.
I want to do meaningful work, but without the madness.
Yet I can’t switch off.
Feels like work is glued inside my skull.
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Madhukar sits silently, pours neem tea for everyone. Smiles gently.
Madhukar:
You all came here thinking the problem is about work.
But it’s about identity.
You were never told that your mind needs space, not pressure.
That you need rest to live, not just to recover.
You were made to believe:
"If I stop thinking about work, I’ll fall behind. I’ll be nobody."
But I’ll tell you this truth clearly:
If you can’t stop thinking about work, you are already nobody.
Because you’ve forgotten who you are when you’re not working.
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Arun looks stunned. Devika sighs. Raghu shifts uncomfortably.
Raghu:
So are you saying we stop working?
Madhukar:
No.
I am saying:
Stop letting work colonize your brain.
Work is not the disease.
Constant work-thinking is.
The real problem is mental slavery to the idea of usefulness.
You can earn without addiction.
You can contribute without obsession.
Let’s build your escape — not from work — but from its mental trap.
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PART 1: DIAGNOSIS — THE SYMPTOMS OF WORK OBSESSION
Madhukar:
Tell me if these are familiar:
You feel guilty while resting
You cannot watch a movie without checking work updates
You wake up with work thoughts and sleep with the same
You see every hour as “productive” or “wasted”
Even during prayer or walk, your mind is calculating
You panic if you don’t have a task lined up
This is not discipline.
This is disease.
It’s not called productivity.
It’s mental captivity.
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PART 2: HOW YOU GOT TRAPPED
Madhukar:
You were not born like this.
School taught you marks = worth
College taught you busyness = value
Parents taught you sacrifice = love
Society taught you image = success
Job taught you delay = failure
Gurus taught you to tolerate this sickness and call it karma
Nobody ever taught you to sit in silence and observe your own life.
You were trained like a donkey to keep pulling a cart.
But you never asked: What’s in the cart?
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PART 3: THE ESCAPE PLAN (12-MONTH REALISTIC HEALING)
Madhukar:
Here is a non-romantic, step-by-step exit from obsessive work-thinking.
Not to leave work — but to reposition it in your life.
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MONTHS 1–3: BREAK THE CONTINUOUS THOUGHT LOOP
1. Daily Silent Mornings (15 minutes after waking)
No phone. No tasks. Just sit.
Observe what your mind rushes to. Let it slow.
2. Redraw Your Calendar
Mark 1–2 hours daily as “non-work” zones.
Walk. Garden. Wash vessels. Cook. Be present.
3. Dismantle the Guilt
Write: “Rest is not laziness. I am not born to perform.”
Repeat this every time guilt comes up.
4. Set Mental Boundaries
No work discussions after 7 PM.
No “just checking” work emails.
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MONTHS 4–6: REALIGN YOUR LIFESTYLE
5. Earn Just Enough, Not Maximum
Downsize. Simplify.
You’ll reduce financial anxiety and time-based panic.
6. Start a Slow Ritual Activity
One that doesn’t yield outcome: growing vegetables, pottery, repairing, stitching, walking.
7. Weekly No-Work Days
No work thoughts. Even if others work. Just observe your restlessness.
8. Meet Non-Work-Oriented People
Talk to farmers, artisans, natural healers. People who live without “career goals.”
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MONTHS 7–9: EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT FROM THE IDENTITY OF WORK
9. Stop Introducing Yourself by Profession
Say: “I’m Arun. I like to grow food.”
Or: “I’m Devika. I love early walks.”
10. Let Go of Image Maintenance
Stop sharing work wins. Stop consuming others’ work lives.
11. Begin Meaning-Oriented Work
Not success-oriented.
Do something because it matters, not because it adds to your CV.
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MONTHS 10–12: REWIRE PERMANENTLY
12. Shift from Goals to Rhythms
Have a daily rhythm — not target lists.
Wake with nature. Sleep early. Work gently.
13. Practice Sitting Without Productivity
Just sit. Without phone. No books. No podcasts.
Train your mind to exist without tasks.
14. Teach This to Others
Share this path with your spouse, children, or neighbour.
When you explain it, you’ll internalize it.
15. Measure Peace, Not Performance
Every week, ask:
“Did I feel peaceful?” Not “Was I useful?”
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PART 4: THE LONG-TERM POSSIBILITY
Madhukar:
After 1 year of this escape, you will still be working.
But your mind will be your own.
You will not jump like a dog when a bell rings.
You will choose. You will pause. You will rest without shame.
You will become a person again — not just a performer.
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FINAL SCENE: ONE YEAR LATER
Raghu (now 59):
I work in the mornings only. Then I sit under the tree. Sometimes just sip tea.
The old panic doesn’t come.
I feel like I’ve come back from war.
Devika (now 55):
I still do housework. But I don’t race anymore.
I let go of doing for the sake of proving.
Now I stitch and hum like my grandmother used to.
Arun (now 29):
I switched to part-time consulting.
Earn less, but I’m finally breathing.
I’m painting again. Sleeping better.
Not scared of silence anymore.
Raji (now 26):
I don’t care what people say.
I live simply. I work a little. I rest a lot.
For the first time, I feel alive between the work.
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Madhukar smiles and says:
You didn’t stop working.
You just stopped dying while working.
--
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THEY GOT YOU THINKING ABOUT WORK UNTIL YOU DIE
they got you early.
not with a knife,
but with a timetable.
they told you to wake up
so you don’t fall behind.
fall behind what?
nobody asked.
they shoved pencils in your fist,
books in your bag,
numbers in your eyes,
and a report card in your soul.
every goddamn adult clapped when you worked.
nobody clapped when you just sat and breathed.
you weren’t raised,
you were scheduled.
rest was suspicious.
stillness was laziness.
and laziness was a sin —
unless you were rich, of course.
they didn't teach you to feel,
they taught you to obey.
they didn’t teach you to ask,
they taught you to update your CV.
your mother whispered,
“study hard and you’ll be respected.”
she looked tired when she said it.
your father nodded,
then stared into a wall he built with 30 years of silence.
your relatives made checklists of your life
like they were buying groceries.
job?
marriage?
children?
house?
EMI?
done.
done.
done.
now die quietly.
and when you tried to stop,
to sit,
to think,
to feel —
your own mind barked at you:
“get up!
you’re falling behind again!”
behind what?
nobody knows.
some white man’s economic model?
some cousin’s fake LinkedIn glow?
some guru’s TEDx-approved voice that said
“success is a mindset”?
you thought you were working for your dreams.
but you never had time to dream.
you were too busy being useful.
and nobody told you —
you can be useful and still be a slave.
they trained you to chase “value.”
now you value nothing that doesn’t burn you out.
they trained you to perform.
now you apologize for breathing without producing.
they trained you to compete.
now you hate your neighbor for sleeping peacefully.
you think you're disciplined.
you’re just exhausted.
you think you're respected.
you’re just consumed.
you think you're independent.
you’re just well-fed in a cage.
and when you retire,
they’ll throw you a cake.
your body’s broken,
your brain’s fried,
but they’ll call it a “farewell with gratitude.”
nobody will thank you for giving up yourself.
nobody will care that you never listened to your children.
nobody will remember the real you,
because even you forgot who that was.
and you’ll lie down —
not peacefully —
but like an old machine,
switched off,
finally.
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you want to escape?
don’t wait for freedom.
they don’t hand that out.
take it.
stop performing.
start sitting.
touch the grass.
breathe like you’re not in a race.
let them call you lazy.
they called the free man mad.
because he didn’t think about work all the time.
because he looked alive.
and you —
you looked busy.
that’s not the same thing.
never was.
never will be.
