"What is in it for Me?" Is the Foundation of Every Relationship

Each section demonstrates how perceived benefits maintain relationships, and how their absence can lead to distance or an end.

1. Parent-Child Relationship

Examples:

A parent boasts about their child’s success to gain social validation.
Children maintain contact with wealthy parents anticipating inheritance.
Some parents expect emotional companionship from children to fill their own loneliness.
Children make regular calls before asking for money or favors.
Parents emotionally manipulate children to fulfill their own unmet dreams.
Kids become distant as soon as parents stop being a source of comfort or help.
Parents show more affection to the "obedient" child.
Some adult children visit only during festivals to maintain appearances.

2. Siblings

Examples:

Siblings ally during family conflicts to gain power or emotional support.
One helps another with job referrals, expecting future returns.
Sibling rivalry intensifies when parental assets are at stake.
Bonds become stronger during shared grief or crisis—then fade again.
A sibling constantly asks for favors but rarely reciprocates.
One sibling supports another during breakup—but only because they need them later.
Siblings with similar lifestyles stay close; others drift apart.
Gifts and help often come with an unspoken expectation of loyalty.

3. Friendships

Examples:

Friends hang out more when one has a car or a fun house.
People form friendships to feel included in social circles.
Emotional dumping happens one-way until the listener burns out.
Once someone becomes successful, they’re approached by “old friends.”
Friends help each other move, but expect the same in return.
During illness or hard times, many “fun friends” disappear.
Friends gossip about others to bond—until they become the topic themselves.
Jealousy arises when one friend outgrows the group.

4. Romantic Relationships

(Dating/Marriage)

Examples:

One partner stays due to fear of starting over, not love.
Marriages are sometimes maintained for societal approval.
One person gives affection, expecting loyalty or gifts in return.
Some relationships are based on emotional support during vulnerable phases.
People date to avoid being alone, not because of compatibility.
As physical attraction fades, emotional distance grows.
Marriages can turn transactional: “I work, you manage the home.”
Divorce often happens once personal growth outpaces shared goals.

5. Teacher-Student

Examples:

Teachers favor students who follow rules without questioning.
Students pretend interest in a subject for better grades.
Coaching centers treat toppers with special perks to attract new students.
Alumni contact professors only for job references.
Some teachers give high grades to avoid conflict with parents or institutions.
Students flatter teachers to gain project leads or recommendations.
Tuition teachers get dropped once exams are over.
Teachers invest more in students who reflect their own values.

6. Employer-Employee

Examples:

Employees stay just until they find a better salary elsewhere.
Employers shower praise before appraisal season to increase retention.
Managers delegate work based on who is most compliant.
Layoffs target employees who no longer add quantifiable value.
Job loyalty is often traded for comfort or benefits.
An employee works overtime to win promotions.
Employers promote those who maintain team harmony—even if less skilled.
The “best worker” is sometimes the one who causes the least trouble.

7. Business Relationships

Examples:

Companies sponsor events only if it brings media coverage.
Freelancers get dropped when their rates increase.
Influencers promote brands they don’t believe in—because it pays well.
Partnerships dissolve when profits fall.
B2B collaborations are based on audience size, not genuine alignment.
Loyalty programs are used just for discounts, not brand love.
Startups seek investors who bring prestige, not just capital.
Clients leave vendors over tiny cost differences.

8. Neighbors

Examples:

Friendly behavior only when borrowing tools or spices.
Help is offered during crises, but fades quickly afterward.
People attend neighborhood functions to maintain social image.
Gossip is a bonding tool between otherwise distant neighbors.
Petty fights emerge over parking or noise—revealing shallow ties.
Elderly neighbors receive attention mainly out of obligation.
Neighbors form WhatsApp groups that serve only logistical needs.
Once someone moves out, contact almost always stops.

9. Online/Social Media Relationships

Examples:

Influencers follow each other for engagement—not genuine interest.
Content is reshared for clout, not because it's valuable.
People engage only when they want something: likes, comments, or exposure.
Unfriending happens when political views clash—benefit of peace lost.
Viral collaborations disappear once the trend dies.
Some only message during birthdays to appear thoughtful.
People exaggerate their lives to attract admiration.
Ghosting happens once emotional or entertainment value ends.

10. Religious/Spiritual Relationships

Examples:

People become devout during illness or hardship, then stop attending rituals.
Donations spike before exams, interviews, or big decisions.
Some blindly follow a guru for personal gain—wealth, peace, luck.
Temples/churches see rushes during festivals—less so otherwise.
Devotees lose faith if their “wishes” go unfulfilled.
Spiritual leaders cater more to affluent followers.
Some use religious identity to build business or social networks.
Rituals are performed more to avoid guilt than out of belief.

11. Doctor-Patient

Examples:

Patients rate doctors based on friendliness, not medical skill.
Doctors give priority to loyal, regular patients.
Wealthy patients are treated with more courtesy in private hospitals.
Doctors are expected to give quick results; else trust fades.
Follow-ups are skipped once symptoms disappear.
Specialists are visited only when general practitioners can't help.
Some patients exaggerate symptoms to get medical leave.
Patients often change doctors until they hear what they want.

12. Political and Public Relationships

Examples:

People praise politicians who offer direct benefits—ration, subsidies.
Celebrities are supported while they're trending.
Political loyalty shifts as parties change policies.
Campaign volunteers expect positions or favors after elections.
Fans abandon celebrities after scandals.
Voters support policies that benefit their specific group.
Politicians care more about high-voting zones.
Media alliances depend on public opinion trends.

13. Pet-Owner Relationship

Examples:

Some adopt pets as fashion statements.
Pets are abandoned when landlords object or travel increases.
Owners expect loyalty and affection without reciprocating effort.
Instagram pet accounts are used for social media gain.
Expensive pets are treated better than adopted ones.
People euthanize pets to avoid medical bills.
Pets are gifted as novelty items, later neglected.
Interest fades once the pet grows out of the "cute" phase.

14. Self-Relationship

Examples:

We eat healthy when we want to look good for others.
Self-care is prioritized only after a breakdown.
We judge ourselves based on society’s feedback.
Self-esteem improves after compliments.
We chase hobbies only when they offer recognition.
Inner peace becomes a goal only after burnout.
Confidence fluctuates with career success.
We abandon personal goals once rewards are not visible.

15. Mentor-Mentee Relationship

Examples:

Mentors guide only when they see potential or loyalty.
Mentees flatter mentors to climb corporate ladders.
Mentorship ends when there’s no value in the relationship.
Mentees switch mentors based on success rate.
Mentors often prioritize the most ambitious.
Some mentor just to feel important.
After promotion, mentees ignore the mentor.
Conflict arises when mentees surpass mentors.

16. Colleague Relationships

Examples:

Collaboration happens only when deadlines force teamwork.
Gossip bonds coworkers during lunch breaks.
People are friendly before performance reviews.
Help is offered only if there's no threat to one's position.
Favor-trading happens subtly—“I cover you today, you owe me.”
Office friendships fade after resignations.
Managers mentor juniors who show promise—ignore others.
Coworkers pretend to care during office events.

17. Landlord-Tenant

Examples:

Landlords appear helpful to get rent on time.
Tenants praise landlords to avoid rent hikes.
Maintenance is delayed once trust is established.
Tenants vacate without notice if better deals come.
Landlords become strict during contract renewal.
Bonds exist only until money flows.
Repairs are done only when it benefits the landlord’s reputation.
Long-term tenants are valued only if rent is consistently paid.

18. Customer-Brand

Examples:

Loyalty exists as long as quality or price is consistent.
Negative reviews are posted immediately after bad service.
Brands offer freebies to get reviews—not always for feedback.
Customers switch over minor price differences.
Support is expected, but not given back.
Brands create offers just to trap repeat purchases.
Consumers join referral programs only for cashbacks.
Emotional branding fades with poor delivery.

19. Roommates

Examples:

Friendships form based on shared chores or costs.
Conflicts arise when one stops contributing equally.
Roommates share food only with reciprocation.
Help is given mainly during illness or crisis.
Once one moves out, contact often stops.
Cleanliness becomes an issue only when personal comfort is affected.
Shared subscriptions or expenses create silent tension.
Weekend plans are made only if convenient to both.

20. Community/Tribe/Group Memberships

Examples:

People join communities for validation or support.
Spiritual or social groups offer status and networking.
Members leave if they no longer feel heard.
Mutual praise is given to maintain harmony.
Group loyalty vanishes during disagreements.
Community events are attended for photos, not values.
Some use groups to sell services or gain visibility.
Belonging is often transactional—not emotional.

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we loved each other, didn’t we?

(a poem Bukowski might mutter over a whiskey-stained bar napkin)

we said it was love,

but it was a deal,

a quiet handshake

between two tired animals

looking for something warm

to lie beside.

you brought smiles,

i brought stability.

you laughed at my jokes,

i paid your phone bill.

you said you missed me—

when your weekend plans fell through.

i said i adored you—

when you cooked and didn’t complain.

friendships were like

emotional vending machines.

insert support,

expect comfort.

no refund if out of order.

my mother loved me,

until i disappointed her resume.

my boss smiled,

until i missed a deadline.

even the dog wagged its tail

mostly for the biscuits.

people want light,

but only if it doesn’t blind them.

they want love,

but only if it gives more than it asks.

don’t tell me it’s real.

don’t tattoo loyalty over your lies.

we’re all here with

open palms and ticking stopwatches,

trading kindness like cigarettes

outside some godless bar.

so no,

you didn’t love me.

you just liked

what i gave you

better than what you had.

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