The Rules of the Relationships
- Madhukar Dama
- 56 minutes ago
- 10 min read
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Prologue: Before You Begin
No relationship is permanent.
Only needs are.
What you call love, loyalty, bond, or respect — is often just the shape that someone’s need takes in your presence.
The wise don’t take this as a betrayal.
They take it as truth.
Every relationship is a silent deal:
Give me this, and I’ll stay.
Take that away, and I’ll drift.
This doesn’t make people selfish.
It makes them human. And humans survive through mutual relevance, not poetry.
We live in a country where emotions are sacred, but often weaponized.
Where relationships are worshipped, but rarely understood.
Where lifelong bonds are formed — and then slowly rot — because no one says aloud what really keeps them alive.
This guide doesn’t teach you how to be good.
It teaches you how to be real — how to keep what matters from collapsing under false expectations.
If you want fantasy, go to fiction.
If you want function, read on.
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👫 1. Husband – Wife
What keeps the husband satisfied:
Keep his stomach full.
Keep his balls empty.
Let him win the small arguments.
Don’t question his failures unless you’re ready to solve them.
Don’t make him feel useless at home.
What keeps the wife peaceful:
Give her respect in front of your people.
Don’t treat her like free labour.
Listen even if you don’t understand.
Give her occasional time away from kids and kitchen.
Let her decorate, clean, and adjust the home space as per her comfort.
Fundamental truth:
Sex and food hold the man. Voice and space hold the woman. If either feels unheard, unrespected or exhausted, resentment begins.
Exit truth:
Leave when either partner has become just a tolerated burden, not a chosen companion.
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👨👩👧👦 2. Parent – Child (Both Ways)
What keeps parents satisfied:
Show that their sacrifices mattered.
Don’t shame them for not knowing today’s world.
Give time, not just money.
Accept their control in some areas.
What keeps children peaceful:
Don’t use guilt to control them.
Let them make mistakes without rubbing it in.
Give them freedom equal to their responsibility.
Don’t treat them like pension plans.
Fundamental truth:
Parents want relevance. Children want freedom. The trick is to give each other both in small doses.
Exit truth:
Emotionally exit when duty becomes one-sided dictatorship. Stay present but stop seeking fairness.
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🧑🤝🧑 3. Siblings (Brother – Brother, Sister – Sister, Brother – Sister)
What keeps siblings satisfied:
Remember childhood loyalties.
Don’t compete over who succeeded more.
Give help without keeping accounts.
What keeps the other peaceful:
Don’t bring up past fights again and again.
Accept differences in personality, pace, and values.
Fundamental truth:
Siblings are not your copies. Either learn to coexist or quietly distance without drama.
Exit truth:
When one sibling becomes toxic or always manipulative, stop hoping for fairness. Just maintain civil boundaries.
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👵👴 4. In-laws (MIL, FIL, DIL, SIL, BIL)
What keeps Mother-in-law (MIL) satisfied:
Give her visible respect in public and private.
Ask her opinion on family rituals and food.
What keeps Daughter-in-law (DIL) peaceful:
Don’t treat her like a maid.
Don’t interfere in bedroom, parenting, or appearance.
What keeps Father-in-law (FIL) satisfied:
Don’t ignore his presence or decisions.
Offer some sense of authority, even if symbolic.
What keeps Son-in-law (SIL/BIL) peaceful:
Don’t micromanage his spending, parenting, or outings.
Accept that his priorities will shift post marriage.
Fundamental truth:
In-laws want control. New couples want privacy. It works only if both sides pretend a little.
Exit truth:
Emotionally exit when every visit or interaction feels like a landmine. Stay civil, stay distant.
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👨💼 5. Boss – Employee
What keeps the boss satisfied:
Deliver before they ask.
Don’t complain, solve.
Don’t threaten their authority.
What keeps the employee peaceful:
Don’t micromanage.
Respect time and effort.
Don’t use job security as blackmail.
Fundamental truth:
The boss wants productivity with obedience. The worker wants money with dignity.
Exit truth:
Leave when your self-respect costs more than your salary.
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🧑🏫 6. Teacher – Student
What keeps the teacher satisfied:
Show effort, not just marks.
Don’t make them feel irrelevant.
What keeps the student peaceful:
Don’t humiliate for ignorance.
Teach like a human, not like a god.
Fundamental truth:
Teachers want legacy. Students want guidance. Arrogance kills both.
Exit truth:
Exit the mental bond when the teacher becomes a blocker, not a builder.
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🧘 7. Healer – Client
What keeps the healer satisfied:
Respect the method.
Don’t demand miracles.
Follow basic advice without drama.
What keeps the client peaceful:
Be heard with patience.
See honesty, not salesmanship.
Receive hope without false promises.
Fundamental truth:
Healing happens only when trust is mutual.
Exit truth:
Exit when the healer becomes mechanical or the client becomes entitled.
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🤝 8. Friends
What keeps a friend satisfied:
Be available in crisis.
Keep their secrets.
What keeps the other peaceful:
Don’t dump all your pain without listening to theirs.
Avoid jealousy and silent competition.
Fundamental truth:
Friendship is mutual usefulness disguised as affection.
Exit truth:
Leave when the bond feels one-sided or draining.
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🏘️ 9. Neighbors
What keeps neighbors satisfied:
Keep noise, smell, and dirt within your house.
Greet them occasionally.
What keeps the other peaceful:
Respect space and time.
Don’t gossip or spy.
Fundamental truth:
Good neighbors maintain distance and decency.
Exit truth:
Emotionally exit when familiarity turns into surveillance.
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🤝💼 10. Business Partners
What keeps one partner satisfied:
Clarity in money.
Equal risk and reward.
What keeps the other peaceful:
No backdoor deals.
Clear roles and honest updates.
Fundamental truth:
Partnerships fail more from ego than from loss.
Exit truth:
Quit when distrust becomes your daily mood.
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🧹 11. Employer – Servant
What keeps the servant satisfied:
Pay on time.
Speak like a human, not a master.
What keeps the employer peaceful:
Do the work well.
Don’t steal, lie or disappear.
Fundamental truth:
Respect and clarity are valued more than money.
Exit truth:
Separate when fear replaces trust.
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🏠 12. Landlord – Tenant
What keeps landlord satisfied:
Timely rent.
No damage to property.
What keeps tenant peaceful:
No sudden rent hikes.
Basic dignity and repairs.
Fundamental truth:
This is a money-for-peace deal. Don’t expect friendship.
Exit truth:
Leave when greed or threats begin.
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🏛️ 13. Citizen – Government Officer
What keeps officer satisfied:
Don’t act smarter than them.
Offer indirect respect (even if fake).
What keeps citizen peaceful:
Don’t delay basic services.
Don’t humiliate in public.
Fundamental truth:
Indian governance runs on tokens of respect, not just rules.
Exit truth:
Stop trusting when officials act like kings instead of servants.
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🛍️ 14. Shopkeeper – Customer
What keeps shopkeeper satisfied:
Don’t bargain like an enemy.
Be loyal if they’re fair.
What keeps customer peaceful:
Don’t cheat in weights, expiry, or returns.
Treat even small buyers with respect.
Fundamental truth:
Business is built on silent trust.
Exit truth:
Change the shop when respect dies before quality.
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🚶 15. Strangers (Public Interactions)
What keeps the other satisfied:
Don’t stare, touch, or intrude.
Maintain hygiene and volume.
What keeps you peaceful:
Stay alert, not scared.
Don’t provoke or moralise.
Fundamental truth:
India survives because strangers silently cooperate.
Exit truth:
Walk away at first sign of madness or threat. No heroism.
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🧙 16. Guru – Disciple
What keeps the guru satisfied:
Sincere practice, not flattery.
Respect even when you doubt.
What keeps the disciple peaceful:
Guidance without exploitation.
Permission to question.
Fundamental truth:
Real gurus free you. Fake ones keep you dependent.
Exit truth:
Walk when the guru becomes possessive, commercial, or manipulative.
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🏥 17. Doctor – Patient
What keeps the doctor satisfied:
Honesty in history.
No self-Google diagnoses.
What keeps the patient peaceful:
No arrogance or overtesting.
Clear communication and touch of care.
Fundamental truth:
Patients want hope. Doctors want efficiency. The good ones balance both.
Exit truth:
Leave when you become a file, not a person.
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⚖️ 18. Lawyer – Client
What keeps the lawyer satisfied:
Timely fees.
Don’t hide facts.
What keeps the client peaceful:
Honesty about delays and outcomes.
No superiority games.
Fundamental truth:
Law works slow, but people need speed. Only mutual patience keeps this sane.
Exit truth:
Switch when you feel used more than represented.
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🐾 19. Pet – Owner
What keeps the pet peaceful:
Routine, presence, voice.
Clean food and gentle touch.
What keeps the owner satisfied:
Unconditional love.
Feeling needed and trusted.
Fundamental truth:
Pets don’t judge, but they absorb your emotions.
Exit truth:
Rehome only if the pet’s care becomes truly impossible. Not for convenience.
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🎓 20. Mentor – Mentee
What keeps the mentor satisfied:
Visible growth in the student.
Respect for experience, not obedience.
What keeps the mentee peaceful:
Honest guidance without power games.
Room to evolve and disagree.
Fundamental truth:
Mentors prepare you to outgrow them.
Exit truth:
Walk away when mentorship becomes a leash.
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💔 21. Ex-Lover / Ex-Spouse
What keeps the past bearable:
Boundaries in communication.
No blame relapses.
What keeps each side peaceful:
A clean end, not vague dragging.
Private closure, not public drama.
Fundamental truth:
Even deep love can expire. Dignity must not.
Exit truth:
Exit mentally even if you’re legally tied. Or you’ll rot.
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🌐 22. Online Friend / Long-Distance Confidant
What keeps it alive:
Consistency without pressure.
Emotional safety without judgement.
What keeps it peaceful:
Don’t cross intimacy limits.
Don’t mistake chat for commitment.
Fundamental truth:
Digital closeness is real but fragile.
Exit truth:
Stop when it starts stealing from your real life.
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🛏️ 23. Roommate / Hostelmate
What keeps peace:
Respect for sleep, space, shared duties.
Clear money roles.
What keeps comfort:
Silent support during exam/job days.
Tolerating quirks without policing.
Fundamental truth:
Living together needs more tolerance than love.
Exit truth:
Separate if daily co-existence becomes daily war.
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🧑🔧 24. Service Worker (Barber, Tailor, Driver, Cook)
What keeps them satisfied:
Don’t treat them invisible.
Pay full without insulting.
What keeps you peaceful:
Show up on time.
Deliver without arrogance.
Fundamental truth:
Service is silent dignity. Don’t exploit it.
Exit truth:
Change when mistrust or misuse sets in.
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🧘♂️ 25. Yourself
What keeps you peaceful:
Honest inner dialogues.
Enough silence and body care.
What keeps you satisfied:
Purpose, not performance.
Growth, not perfection.
Fundamental truth:
Your longest relationship is with your own breath.
Exit truth:
Let go of versions of yourself that no longer nourish you.
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Epilogue: When It’s No Longer Working
Everything has an expiry — even silence, even patience, even blood bonds.
When a relationship no longer serves truth, peace, or growth —
don't fix the label.
Fix the boundary.
Or walk away.
Some people must be fed to survive.
Some must be tolerated to maintain peace.
Some must be slowly phased out like a medicine that worked once, but now poisons you.
The trick is not to make every relationship last.
The trick is to know why it lasted so far — and when it has stopped being worth it.
In a world full of endless connections and lifelong burdens,
may you carry only those relationships
that nourish your spirit,
challenge your stagnation,
and respect your boundaries.
Not every bond is holy.
But the truth behind it can be.
The Rules of the Relationships
You are born,
not into love—
but into obligation,
wrapped in a blanket of someone else's dreams
stitched together by fear, food, and family honour.
You don’t ask for it.
It just begins.
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The Wife
She cooks.
She bleeds quietly.
She screams inside.
She listens to his silence
and learns to treat it like wisdom.
If she wants peace,
she must feed his stomach
and empty his balls.
If he wants her soul,
he must shut up and
let her decorate
the little cage they both sit in.
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The Parents
You owe them everything.
But the moment you grow,
you owe yourself, too.
They want control that looks like care.
You want freedom that looks like rebellion.
Both pretend.
There’s no clean debt ledger
between a diapered past
and a wrinkled future.
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The Siblings
Same blood.
Different destinies.
One climbs. One complains.
One hides behind alcohol.
One reads your messages
but never replies.
You love them,
but you'd never live with them again.
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The In-laws
Control comes wrapped in
sarees, rituals,
prayers and poisoned praise.
You call them Amma, Appa,
but know they’d slit your spirit
if they could do it politely.
Play the game.
Or die slowly.
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The Boss
He gives you money.
But you give him your spine.
Smile.
Stay late.
Nod.
Be silent when they call your ideas stupid
and steal them the next day.
Workplace is where dignity
goes to sleep
for a salary.
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The Friend
They were your person.
Until they got married.
Until they got rich.
Until they got tired
of being your unpaid therapist.
Friendship is seasonal.
And most seasons don’t come back.
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The Guru
You touched his feet.
He touched your mind.
But somewhere,
you started kneeling
when you should have stood.
Real gurus set you free.
Fake ones teach dependence
disguised as devotion.
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The Lover
Oh, she saw the real you.
Oh, he made you feel wanted.
Until life came.
And rent came.
And routine came.
Now all you have
is old chat logs
and that cheap ring
you can’t throw away.
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The Tenant, The Servant, The Tailor, The Doctor
Everyone in your life
is keeping a secret scorecard.
Even the ones you tip.
Even the ones who smile.
Even the one who cuts your hair
while talking about your future
as if he owns it.
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The Pet
Loyal, dumb love.
Better than humans.
Doesn’t lie.
Doesn’t judge.
Dies earlier
so you’re reminded
how temporary
real love can be.
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The Self
The longest relationship.
The one you keep betraying.
You lie to it.
Ignore it.
Mock it.
Starve it.
Overwork it.
Punish it
for not being what your uncle’s son became.
You die a thousand times
before your body does—
just to make everyone else
comfortable.
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These are the rules.
No manuals. No prayers. No promises.
Only terms and conditions
written in invisible ink,
signed in silence,
torn apart in arguments,
rewritten in guilt.
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If you want peace,
learn which relationship to water,
which to weed,
and which to walk away from
while you still have
your bones intact
and your soul unbent.
That’s all.
Nothing more.
Just don’t wait
for love
to rescue you.
It won’t.
Only truth will.
And truth
is ugly,
honest,
and free.
