THE WEAPON OF REASONING: HOW FACTS GET TWISTED TO SUIT DESIRES
- Madhukar Dama
- May 28
- 9 min read
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I. REASONING IS NOT TRUTH — IT’S A TOOL
Reasoning is not a path to truth.
It’s a sharp knife — it can cut through lies, or it can cut truth into pieces that suit one’s preferences.
Most people do not reason to discover what is true.
They reason to defend what they already want to believe — often shaped by fear, shame, social conditioning, or selfish benefit.
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II. HOW REASONING TWISTS REALITY: METHODS
1. Selective Framing
The same event is presented in different emotional colors, depending on what the person wants others to feel.
“He is strong-willed” — when he disobeys others.
“She is stubborn” — when she disobeys me.
Example:
If a child questions religion:
A believer says, “She’s misled by bad company.”
A freethinker says, “She’s finally thinking for herself.”
2. Cherry-Picking Evidence
A person highlights only the parts of reality that support their agenda.
A smoker says, “My uncle smoked till 90.”
But ignores the millions who died of cancer by 60.
A parent says, “My child got 99% — shows my parenting works.”
But forgets the emotional breakdowns and therapy bills.
3. Shifting Meanings
Words are used loosely, so they can mean whatever is convenient.
“Respect” means obedience when adults speak.
“Love” means possession when partners speak.
“Faith” means blindness when godmen speak.
So, the same reasoning tool becomes a chameleon — changing color as needed.
4. Moral Justification of Harm
Violent or selfish actions are disguised as noble.
“I hit him for his own good.”
“We had to punish them to set an example.”
“She betrayed me, so I exposed her publicly.”
This flips cruelty into duty.
5. Emotional Reasoning Disguised as Logic
The decision is made emotionally — out of hurt, fear, or desire.
Then logic is applied afterward like makeup on a wounded face.
“I moved out because the house was toxic.”
(Real reason: I couldn’t tolerate feedback.)
“I left the job because it wasn’t ethical.”
(Real reason: I felt insecure or humiliated.)
The brain provides reasons after the body has already decided.
6. Abstraction as Escape
People use big words to avoid facing small truths.
“Nothing really exists.”
“We are all one.”
“There’s no right or wrong.”
This kind of reasoning is not philosophy.
It’s escapism.
It allows one to run away from responsibility by pretending everything is meaningless.
7. Shifting Goalposts
When someone is cornered by logic, they change the question.
“Why don’t you believe in God?”
You answer.
“No, not that kind of God — I mean something else.”
Or:
“Why don’t you eat healthy?”
“What’s healthy even? These days everything is toxic.”
So the person avoids any possibility of being proven wrong.
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III. WHY PEOPLE DO THIS
Because truth is expensive.
It costs comfort, image, power, illusions, and even relationships.
But reasoning — that gives the illusion of truth without paying the price.
It lets a person believe, “I’m not lying. I just see things differently.”
People use reasoning to protect:
Their ego (I’m not wrong)
Their identity (I’m a good parent, spouse, teacher, believer…)
Their lifestyle (I can keep consuming, controlling, avoiding)
Their past (I didn’t waste my life)
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IV. REALISTIC EVERYDAY INDIAN EXAMPLES
Religion:
“My child is suffering because we stopped doing pooja regularly.”
“Everything happens for a reason.” (Conveniently applied to others’ suffering.)
“Astrology isn’t superstition, it’s ancient science.” (No study, just belief.)
Family:
“I gave up everything for my children, so I have the right to decide their career.”
“You don’t respect me — that’s why you question me.”
“We beat you out of love.”
Parenting:
“Kids these days are too sensitive.” (After being emotionally abusive.)
“I’m strict because I care.” (But never listens or explains.)
“We want to give the best.” (So they buy iPads instead of time.)
Education:
“Only education can secure their future.”
(Yet 40-year-olds with degrees are depressed, dependent, and clueless.)
“Tuitions are necessary — competition is high.”
(Even when the child is exhausted and disengaged.)
Health:
“I take this syrup daily — it boosts immunity.” (No idea what's inside.)
“Doctors know best.” (Even when 3 gave 3 opposite opinions.)
“Everyone eats this — it can’t be harmful.” (Even poison, when slow, becomes food.)
Relationships:
“If she loved me, she’d understand.” (Translation: Obey me.)
“I only shouted because I was hurt.” (Translation: My feelings justify your suffering.)
“We’ve sacrificed a lot for this marriage.” (But at what cost?)
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V. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN REASONING GOES UNQUESTIONED
People:
Live a double life — saying one thing, feeling another.
Destroy others emotionally while claiming they were “only trying to help.”
Stay stuck in failed marriages, toxic jobs, abusive parenting, or hollow beliefs — all because their reasoning justifies it.
Eventually, the person becomes unreachable.
Because their reasoning defends their prison.
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VI. CASE STUDY: AN INDIAN MOTHER’S REASONING TRAP
Meena, a middle-class mother in Hubballi, wants her daughter to become a doctor.
The girl likes animals and wants to be a naturalist.
Meena says:
“Beta, I know what’s best.”
“Being a doctor is secure. Animals won’t feed you.”
“Our neighbour’s son got a seat — people are watching.”
“If you don’t study 12 hours, you’ll regret it.”
Later, when her daughter breaks down with anxiety and hormonal issues, Meena says:
“We only wanted her to have a good life.”
“Kids these days can’t handle pressure.”
“It’s all this social media. She was fine before.”
Not once does she say:
“Maybe I used reasoning to hide my fear, image, and insecurity.”
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VII. HOW TO RECOGNIZE TWISTED REASONING IN YOURSELF
Ask yourself:
Would I still believe this if it didn’t benefit me?
Am I protecting truth or comfort?
If someone else did what I’m doing, would I justify it the same way?
Am I using reasoning to avoid regret, guilt, or discomfort?
What part of me is terrified of being proven wrong?
You’ll feel a pinch when you ask these honestly. That pinch is reality knocking.
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VIII. THE COST OF TWISTED REASONING
Children lose trust in parents.
Spouses drift away emotionally while maintaining appearances.
Belief systems become hollow, defended only by slogans and fear.
Society becomes full of obedient slaves who think they’re free thinkers.
Everyone thinks they're rational.
But few notice that their reasoning was never theirs — it was a servant trained to protect the master’s wounds.
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EPILOGUE
> The mind is not a seeker of truth.
It is a trained defender of fear.
And reasoning is its most loyal soldier.
Only when you stop reasoning for your desires…
And start listening to your own contradictions…
Can you begin to heal.
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"THE PRISON OF REASONING"
— A Realistic Dialogue Between Madhukar and a Man Who Thinks He's Always Right
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Characters:
Madhukar – a former professor turned forest-dwelling healer in Yelmadagi
Vinay – a 39-year-old upper-middle-class man, ex-banker, educated, articulate, proud of his logic
Setting – Madhukar’s mud courtyard, early morning. Birds chirp. A pot of hot herbal drink sits between them.
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PART I — THE UNTOUCHABLE LOGIC
Vinay:
I’ve thought through everything, Madhukar.
I left my job because the environment was unethical.
I’m not married because I’ve seen what marriage does to men.
I don’t follow religion because I believe in rational thought.
I’ve made every choice with reason.
Madhukar:
Then why are you here?
Vinay:
Because I’m restless.
Nothing feels satisfying.
I keep jumping from one thing to another — books, startups, travels.
But still… something feels unfinished.
Madhukar:
And your reasoning has led you here?
Vinay:
Yes.
And I’m here to find peace… logically.
Madhukar (smiling):
That’s like looking for silence by screaming louder.
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PART II — THE DISSECTION BEGINS
Madhukar:
Let’s take one of your conclusions.
You say marriage destroys men.
Is that reasoning, or pain?
Vinay:
It’s fact. Look around. Men lose freedom, money, sleep, and sometimes their identity.
Madhukar:
So do women.
Is your reasoning balanced or one-sided?
Vinay (pauses):
I’ve seen more men suffer.
Madhukar:
Who did you see suffer?
Vinay:
My father. My uncles. A few friends.
Madhukar:
So pain formed your belief.
And your reasoning came later — not to question it, but to protect it.
Vinay (defensive):
That’s unfair. I’ve read articles, statistics…
Madhukar:
Articles chosen by the part of you that already believed it.
Have you ever read something that challenged your view? And sat with the discomfort?
Vinay (softly):
Not really.
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PART III — THE FIRST CRACKS
Madhukar:
Tell me about your job exit.
Vinay:
The leadership was corrupt. I couldn’t be part of that.
Madhukar:
And you stayed how many years?
Vinay:
Nine.
Madhukar:
So nine years you stayed in corruption — and left only when you were passed over for a promotion?
Vinay (startled):
How do you know?
Madhukar:
Because pain dresses itself in morality.
It’s easier to say “I left because of ethics” than “I wasn’t chosen.”
You’re not lying. But you’ve rearranged facts to avoid shame.
Vinay:
So I’m just a coward?
Madhukar:
No. You’re just protecting your image.
That’s what most people do.
But truth begins where protection ends.
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PART IV — THE FANTASY OF CONTROL
Vinay:
But what’s the alternative?
Should I stop thinking?
Should I just act on emotion?
Madhukar:
No. You should stop using reason to escape pain.
There’s clean reasoning — which includes all facts, even uncomfortable ones.
And there’s dirty reasoning — which deletes facts that threaten your pride.
Let me show you:
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REAL-LIFE TWISTED REASONING EXAMPLES
1. About Parents:
“I’m not close to my parents because they never understood me.”
But the full truth: I never tried to understand them either.
2. About Work:
“I quit because the culture was toxic.”
But full truth: I stayed for years because I loved the money.
3. About Religion:
“I don’t follow rituals because I’m rational.”
But full truth: I never studied the inner meaning — I rejected from ignorance, not knowledge.
4. About Marriage:
“I avoid it because people are fake.”
But full truth: I’m terrified of losing control.
5. About Peace:
“I just want peace.”
But full truth: I want peace without giving up my defenses, distractions, and comforts.
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PART V — NAKED WITHOUT LOGIC
Vinay:
Then what am I, Madhukar?
If you take away my reasoning, my choices, my logic — what’s left?
Madhukar (quietly):
A scared, lonely boy…
Who thought he’d be safe if he was right all the time.
Vinay (eyes welling):
And I thought I had figured it all out.
Madhukar:
You did figure out how to build walls — not how to live freely.
Vinay:
Then what do I do now?
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PART VI — THE FIRST HONEST STEP
Madhukar:
Next time your mind justifies something, pause and ask:
What am I afraid of?
What would it mean if the opposite were true?
Whom am I trying to protect — the truth or my image?
Don’t kill your reasoning.
Clean it.
Use it like a scalpel, not a sword.
Vinay:
That will be hard.
Madhukar:
Only for the part of you that is fake.
The real you will feel relief.
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EPILOGUE — THE FALL OF THE FALSE MASTER
Vinay (a month later, writing in a letter):
> I’ve started catching myself lying — not to others, but to myself.
Each time I say “I had no choice,” I stop.
Each time I say “I did it for their good,” I ask, “Really?”
It’s uncomfortable. But strangely, I feel less hollow.
For the first time, reasoning is becoming a mirror — not a mask.
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THE REASONING DOG
you didn’t find truth.
you trained a dog called reasoning
to bark at your enemies
and lick your wounds.
you call it logic
but it limps like a lie
carrying the guilt of every excuse
you tattooed on your skin
to avoid looking like a failure.
you built a house with it —
walls of “i had no choice,”
a roof of “they don’t understand me,”
and you live there now
like a frightened god
surrounded by mirrors that only show your pride.
you think you’re wise
because your arguments are sharp,
but they only cut the truth into shapes
you can swallow without choking.
you say,
“i left the job because of ethics,”
but the truth is
they didn’t promote you.
you say,
“i don't believe in marriage,”
but you’re just too scared
to hand your control to another broken human.
you say,
“i want peace,”
but what you really want
is silence from your guilt.
you say,
“i love my kids,”
but you only love them
when they make you look like a good parent.
you’ve used reasoning like a rope
not to climb out,
but to hang the part of you
that still knew how to feel.
truth doesn’t scream.
it whispers in the corner
while your logic plays hero
in a battle you started
just to feel righteous.
your reasoning is not your mind.
it’s your body
trying to avoid shame,
your childhood
trying to win back respect,
your loneliness
putting on a tie and calling itself “principle.”
and in the end,
you’ll win every argument,
but lose your soul quietly —
one defended belief at a time.
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