🔥 THE “USE ME” AURA
- Madhukar Dama
- May 31
- 8 min read
Why Some People Get Exploited by Everyone — Even Dogs and Bacteria
---
🧠 INTRODUCTION: THE INVISIBLE SIGNAL
Some people are exploited by everyone.
Humans use them.
Dogs cling to them.
Parasites thrive in them.
Even bacteria overgrow in their gut.
And it’s not random.
These people emit a nonverbal signal, an energetic scent, an invisible aura that says:
> “Use me. I won’t say no.”
It’s not said. It’s leaked through eyes, posture, tone, breath, reactions — even how they sit in a chair.
Let’s understand the science, psychology, cultural breeding, and inner cost of this “Use Me” cue — and how to stop fermenting it like curd.
---
🧬 WHAT IS THIS “USE ME” ENERGY?
It’s a body-mind state shaped by years of:
Repression of self-expression
Lack of boundaries
Emotional starvation
Chronic people-pleasing
Addicted need for approval
Learned helplessness
Guilt for having needs
This leads to posture, facial micro-expressions, gaze behavior, and speech tone that subconsciously alert others:
> “You can take from me — I won’t stop you.”
It’s not a choice. It’s a pattern.
---
📡 WHO DETECTS IT?
Everyone. And everything.
👨 Humans
Push your limits without asking.
Use you for emotional dumping, tasks, favors.
Never offer equal return.
Sense your need to be liked — and weaponize it.
🐕 Animals
Clingy dogs show dominant behavior over you.
Cats ignore your boundaries.
Cows, goats, monkeys push or headbutt gently manipulative people.
Birds may poop on the same person again and again.
🦠 Microbes & Parasites
Bacteria thrive in emotionally suppressed bodies.
Candida overgrowth, IBS, skin fungi — often seen in soft-spoken, overly adaptable people.
Gut biome becomes dysregulated under constant stress and emotional neglect.
> Your bioelectric field and hormonal composition signal weakness or porousness — and the microbial world responds.
This is not superstition. It is neurobiology, endocrinology, and electromagnetic communication.
---
🪤 HOW THE TRAP IS CULTURED — LIKE CURD
This energy is fermented in stages, just like curd:
1. The Starter Culture (Childhood)
Taught to obey, not express.
Shamed for crying or asking.
Hit or ignored when standing up for oneself.
Learned: I must adapt to survive.
2. Milk of Guilt and Shame
Told they are selfish if they prioritize themselves.
Rewarded only when sacrificing.
Guilt-tripped for saying “no.”
3. Warm Environment (Toxic Society)
Religion praises suffering as holy.
Schools reward obedience, not originality.
Media glorifies the “always available” mother, lover, friend.
4. Daily Churning
Every interaction reinforces the “I must be needed” loop.
Even their health becomes sacrificed.
They age early, wrinkle early, decay early.
---
🌍 CULTURAL EXAMPLES — WHERE THIS IS REWARDED
🙍♀️ Indian Women
Taught to serve silently.
Motherhood = martyrdom.
Daughters = unpaid emotional labourers.
👨🏫 Obedient Boys
“Don’t argue” makes them afraid to resist.
Grow up to become passive providers — silently dying inside.
🙏 Spiritual Slaves
Told to turn the other cheek until there’s nothing left.
Called “noble” when being used by family, ashram, or guru.
> Exploitation is dressed in spirituality, family duty, and goodness.
---
📖 SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATIONS
💡 Body Language Studies:
People who:
Avoid eye contact
Hunch their shoulders
Speak with unsure tone
Use too many “sorrys” or “maybes”
...are targeted more by dominant or abusive personalities.
💡 Hormonal Signals:
Chronic cortisol and low dopamine alters how animals and humans perceive you.
Stress sweat smells different.
Emotional suppression reduces immune function — making you a better host for infections.
💡 Electromagnetic Signals:
Your body emits a real field.
Parasites, animals, and even plants respond to that field.
A porous field draws in takers.
---
🔁 THE CYCLE OF SELF-ERASURE
1. You are used.
2. You feel guilty for being angry.
3. You give more to feel better.
4. You get used more.
5. You collapse.
6. They still don’t thank you.
---
🛑 SIGNS THAT YOU RADIATE “USE ME”
You get approached by emotionally broken people.
Dogs jump on you but not on others.
Everyone asks you for help — no one asks if you are okay.
You feel tired after every interaction.
You explain or apologize too much.
You smile even when you're upset.
---
--
✅ 20 NONVERBAL “USE ME” CUES
As seen in the body, face, voice, and energy of an emotionally conditioned person
---
🔴 FACE & EXPRESSIONAL CUES
1. Apologetic half-smile
A blend of politeness and fear. It's not joy — it’s permission.
2. Eyes looking slightly downward
Sign of submissiveness, guilt, and reduced self-worth.
3. One eyebrow raised higher
Constant confusion or over-attunement to other people’s reactions.
4. Jaw held tight or clenched
Chronic suppression of anger, sadness, and “no.”
5. Forehead creased even when neutral
Deep worry lines — trained to anticipate judgment.
---
🟠 HEAD & NECK POSTURE
6. Head slightly lowered
Not from tiredness, but internalized inferiority.
7. Neck tilted to one side
A universal mammalian gesture of vulnerability or appeasement.
---
🟡 UPPER BODY POSTURE
8. Slouched spine
No grounded presence — body collapses inward.
9. Rounded shoulders
Protecting the chest — the emotional center — unconsciously.
10. Chest held in or collapsed
Symbolic of “I don’t deserve to take up space.”
11. Arms loosely crossed or clasped in front
Self-protection masquerading as passivity.
---
🟢 HANDS & GESTURE
12. Hands clasped low
As if waiting for permission or instruction.
13. Fingers twitching, rubbing, or gripping shirt hem
Self-soothing behavior during emotional conflict.
---
🔵 LOWER BODY & STANCE
14. Weight placed unevenly on one leg
“I’m ready to move, I’m not grounded.” Body wants escape.
15. Feet turned slightly inward
Infantilized uncertainty or chronic fear of being noticed.
16. Knees slightly bent even while standing
Energy of withdrawal or deference.
---
🟣 SPEECH & ENERGY FIELD (SUBTLE)
17. Voice trails off at end of sentences
Trained to become small, to not “bother” others.
18. Too many “sorry,” “maybe,” “just,” “okay?”
Habitual speech patterns that ask for acceptance.
19. Laughing when uncomfortable
Using humor to soften the discomfort of speaking truth.
20. Lack of gaze return
Never fully meets your eyes — always scanning for safety.
---
🧹 HOW TO STOP FERMENTING THIS ENERGY
✅ Start Saying “No” Without Explanation
“No” is complete. No need to justify.
✅ Reclaim Eye Contact and Breath
Breath slowly. Look at people directly. Stand evenly.
✅ Create Micro-Boundaries
Not just big decisions — say no to a joke that hurts. Say “stop” when interrupted.
✅ Stop Being Useful as a Path to Love
You don’t have to earn your place in the world. You exist — that is enough.
✅ Let Some Relationships Rot
If they grew in your curdled energy, they won’t survive your self-respect. That’s okay.
---
🛡️ POWERFUL STATEMENTS TO INTERNALIZE
> “My body is not public property.”
“Being good is not the same as being kind to myself.”
“The one who always gives is rarely remembered — until they stop giving.”
“I’m not here to be useful. I’m here to be alive.”
“Even curd can go sour. So can I.”
---
🔥 FINAL WORD
> Even bacteria know who won’t fight back.
Even dogs can sense who won’t say no.
If you don’t end the cycle, you’ll be fermented into a human yogurt — sweet, soft, and easy to swallow.
---
---
🩺 HEALING DIALOGUE
Title: “The Doctor Who Forgot to Say No”
Characters:
Dr. Prakash, 48, a well-respected physician from Hubli, Karnataka
Madhukar, a former scientist turned forest-dwelling healer
Set in Madhukar’s mud home near Yelmadagi forest
---
🌿 SCENE 1 — ARRIVAL
(Dr. Prakash arrives at the hermitage. His shoulders are slouched. He smiles nervously. He keeps adjusting his shirt sleeve and apologizing for being late though he isn’t.)
Madhukar:
You’ve come at the exact time your tiredness brought you. Not early. Not late.
Come, sit down. Don't bow. Just breathe.
Dr. Prakash: (smiling)
Yes, yes. Sorry, I… tend to overdo everything.
Madhukar:
Yes. I saw you apologizing to the dog outside when it barked at you.
Dr. Prakash: (laughs awkwardly)
Did I? I guess I… just try not to upset anyone. Even dogs.
Madhukar:
Even bacteria?
Dr. Prakash: (blinks)
What?
Madhukar:
You’ve been apologizing to your gut too. For having needs. That’s why it’s inflamed.
---
🪶 SCENE 2 — UNPACKING THE FATIGUE
Madhukar:
You are tired in the bones, Prakash. But not from your job. From your silence.
Dr. Prakash:
I’m not silent. I talk to patients all day, I teach, I…
Madhukar:
You serve. You soothe. You explain.
But when have you actually said what you wanted?
Dr. Prakash: (softly)
I… don’t know. Maybe I never learned how to want.
Madhukar:
You learned how to be needed. Not how to be heard.
Even now, you speak like you're waiting for me to approve your breath.
Dr. Prakash: (eyes reddening)
I was raised like that. First child. Parents said, “You’re the hope.”
Then MBBS. Then patients. Then my wife. Then hospital management.
Every time I wanted to say no, my throat closed.
---
🧱 SCENE 3 — BREAKING THE PATTERN
Madhukar:
Let me tell you what I saw when you walked in.
Eyes looking down.
Shoulders caved in.
Hands nervously clasped.
Smile without joy.
Chest sunken.
Neck tilted.
Legs shifted backward like you wanted to run.
And not once did you make eye contact longer than 2 seconds.
You are a walking “yes” to the world.
Even when your body is screaming “no.”
Dr. Prakash: (whispers)
They all take from me. But if I stop giving… they’ll hate me.
Madhukar:
No. They’ll find someone else to take from.
And you’ll finally feel what peace without performance tastes like.
Dr. Prakash: (deep exhale)
Even my breath feels like it’s asking permission.
---
🔥 SCENE 4 — THE ANGER BENEATH
Madhukar:
Let it out.
Dr. Prakash:
What?
Madhukar:
The grief. The rage. The words you’ve buried under your lab coat.
Dr. Prakash: (eyes welling up)
I hate being touched by patients now.
I hate my own hands for not pushing back.
I hate that I smile at relatives who blame me when someone dies.
I hate that I answer phone calls at midnight and say, “No problem.”
I hate that I’ve trained my own child to think I have no needs.
Madhukar:
That’s not hate. That’s your honesty trying to breathe.
Dr. Prakash:
It’s too late, isn’t it?
Madhukar:
You’re still here. That’s not too late. That’s the beginning.
---
🧘🏾 SCENE 5 — RECLAIMING SPACE
Madhukar:
Stand up.
(Dr. Prakash stands, awkwardly.)
Now straighten your spine.
Unclasp your hands.
Lift your eyes.
Drop the sorry.
(Dr. Prakash does each one slowly, trembling a little.)
Now say this:
> “I do not exist to be used.”
“I deserve space without being needed.”
“No is a full sentence.”
Dr. Prakash: (faltering at first, then steadier)
I do not exist to be used.
I deserve space without being needed.
No is a full sentence.
(Tears stream silently. But he does not shrink.)
---
🌄 SCENE 6 — THE FIRST “NO”
Madhukar:
Tonight, you will sleep here.
No one will call you.
No one will need you.
And in the morning, if your body says “rest,” you will not rush.
Can you give yourself one day where you’re not useful?
Dr. Prakash: (long pause)
I’m… scared.
Madhukar:
That’s the withdrawal. You’ve been addicted to being needed.
And now, you're healing.
Dr. Prakash:
Can I still help people… without destroying myself?
Madhukar:
Yes.
But not by being absent from yourself.
You serve best when you no longer serve out of fear.
---
🌱 FINAL SCENE — SLOW SUNRISE
(Next morning, Dr. Prakash walks barefoot. No phone. No coat. He walks tall. He still smiles — but this time, it reaches his eyes.)
---
