THE MIRROR LIES: WHAT REMAINS WHEN SELF-IMAGE COLLAPSES?
- Madhukar Dama
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
INTRODUCTION
The mirror never lies?
Actually, it always does.
Not because the reflection is wrong, but because what we see in it is wrong.
We don't look in the mirror to see ourselves.
We look to confirm what we want to believe about ourselves.
Or worse — what we fear others might believe.
This is not about glass.
This is about the idea of self-image.
The inner mirror we carry — made of comparisons, judgments, shame, and craving.
So…
What happens when this self-image breaks?
Do we disappear?
Or… do we finally appear?
Let’s go step by step.
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1. WHAT IS SELF-IMAGE?
Self-image is the mental picture we have of ourselves.
It is a blend of what:
We think we are
We want others to think we are
We are afraid we might actually be
It's not reality. It's a defense mechanism.
A survival mask. A personal brand.
Built from:
Childhood conditioning
School achievements or failures
Rejections, praises, punishments
Social approval, peer feedback
Successes, relationships, body image
Jobs, money, caste, gender, age
We keep updating this mental mirror.
Sometimes polishing it. Sometimes hiding it.
But never questioning why we need it.
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2. WHY DO WE NEED A SELF-IMAGE?
Because we don’t know who we are without it.
Imagine waking up tomorrow with no idea of:
Your name
Your age
Your job
Your likes and dislikes
Your story
Scary?
That fear is why we cling to the mirror.
It gives us structure. A reference point.
Even if it's false.
Without self-image, we feel like a blur.
And humans fear being undefined more than being unhappy.
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3. HOW DOES THE MIRROR LIE?
a. It shows only one angle.
You cannot see your back, your energy, your presence.
b. It’s based on lighting and filters — literally and metaphorically.
We see ourselves differently in gym mirrors, wedding photos, or Insta selfies.
c. It’s not a reflection of truth. It’s a projection of belief.
We don’t see our face.
We see our failures.
We see our ego.
We see someone else’s voice judging us.
That’s why a kind child sees herself as ugly.
That’s why a rich man still feels like a loser.
That’s why people starve themselves while looking slim in the mirror.
---
4. WHEN DOES THE MIRROR BREAK?
A failed relationship
A public humiliation
A job loss or career crash
Aging or physical illness
A spiritual awakening
Seeing someone who’s truly free
A child’s raw question
In these moments, something inside us shatters.
The story we told ourselves…
The image we worked so hard to maintain…
Cracks.
And we face a terrifying silence.
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5. WHAT REMAINS WHEN SELF-IMAGE COLLAPSES?
Only what was never created.
The real self —
The part of you that needs no praise
No title
No label
No audience
What remains is:
Simplicity
Stillness
Raw honesty
A strange kind of freedom
You feel invisible…
Yet finally seen — by yourself.
You stop being “beautiful,” “clever,” “rich,” “depressed,” “successful”…
And start being alive.
---
6. WHY DO PEOPLE AVOID THIS FREEDOM?
Because it comes with a price:
You lose your social identity
You cannot perform anymore
You can no longer blame others
You stop controlling how others see you
You don’t get attention
And the scariest part: you cannot escape yourself
People will say:
“You’ve changed.”
“You’ve become dull.”
“You’ve given up.”
But in truth…
You’ve given in.
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7. HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT THE LIES?
Wake up and observe your mirror addiction
Catch your image-checking moments (likes, selfies, compliments, bios)
Drop identity statements: “I am a…”, “I always…”, “I never…”
Sit in silence. Let people think whatever they want.
Watch animals, old trees, madmen, infants — they have no image, but infinite energy.
Get comfortable being “nobody.” It’s the safest space on Earth.
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8. IS THIS A DEPRESSION OR A REBIRTH?
It feels like dying.
But it’s actually shedding.
The caterpillar doesn’t die.
It dissolves.
And becomes something that doesn’t need a mirror.
Because it can fly.
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CONCLUSION
The mirror lies.
But we can stop believing.
When self-image collapses, we don’t become less.
We become real.
And in a world full of image-addicted ghosts,
being real is the rarest, most rebellious thing you can be.
—
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HEALING DIALOGUE
"THE DAY MY IMAGE DIED"
A visitor collapses into silence before Madhukar the Hermit.
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Visitor:
I don’t know who I am anymore.
Everything I built — career, marriage, friends, even my body…
All of it feels fake.
And I don't even have the strength to rebuild.
Madhukar:
Good.
Let the corpse lie.
Now we can begin.
Visitor:
Begin what? I feel like a blank page.
Madhukar:
Exactly.
All your life you were writing other people’s words on yourself.
Now that the ink has faded,
you can finally ask —
What is your language?
Visitor:
But without a self-image, how do I function?
How do I talk to people?
What do I say about myself?
Madhukar:
Try silence.
It’s more honest than any biography.
Let them meet you — not your resume.
Visitor:
So I just let go… of my name, my ambition, my pain?
Madhukar:
Not let go —
see that it was never truly you.
You don’t need to throw anything away.
Just stop clinging.
Visitor:
I feel naked. Weak. Vulnerable.
Madhukar:
Yes. And that’s the strongest you’ve ever been.
The image was armor —
But armor cannot love. Cannot grow. Cannot heal.
Now you can.
Visitor:
But people will judge me.
Madhukar:
Let them. That’s their mirror.
You just stepped out of yours.
Visitor:
Will I ever feel... beautiful again?
Madhukar:
You were never meant to feel beautiful.
You were meant to feel real.
Real is better than beautiful.
Visitor:
I’m scared. What if I vanish?
Madhukar:
You will vanish.
And what remains will need no reflection.
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"SMASH THAT SHINY LIE"
they gave you a mirror
before they gave you milk.
and you started crawling
toward your reflection
before you could even walk.
they said —
“look good.”
“stand straight.”
“smile more.”
“fit in.”
“shine.”
“become something.”
so you polished yourself
like a stupid doorknob
waiting for people to enter.
you wore suits
for rooms that never welcomed you,
smiled at bosses
who pissed on your soul,
posed beside cakes
that gave you diabetes
but looked good on Instagram.
you started becoming
what you hated
just to be seen.
one day
your face cracked
under its own weight.
and there was
nothing inside
but breath.
ah, breath.
the only truth you ever had.
let it fog that mirror.
then smash the damn thing.
walk away with your scars,
your silence,
your bones.
you don’t need a mirror
when you’ve got
fire.
—
