THE GUT BETWEEN US – PART 6

WHAT CAN STILL BE HEALED: TOUCH, TRUST, TIMING

“IF YOU GROW YOUR GUT AGAIN, YOU MAY FIND YOUR MOTHER THERE WAITING.”

Not all is lost.

Even if you were never breastfed.

Even if you were C-sectioned, formula-fed, separated, sleep-trained.

Even if your gut broke before your memories formed.

Even if your relationship with your mother has grown cold, distant, or polite.

Because the gut — just like the heart — can heal.

It can rewire, reseed, remember.

And in doing so,

it can also help rebuild the relationship that should have been yours from the beginning.

REBUILDING THE GUT = REOPENING THE DOOR

Your gut is plastic — not fixed.

Even as an adult, you can still:

Reseed your microbiome

Soothe your nervous system

Calm your inflammation

Restore your hormonal balance

And feel safe in your own body again

And when this happens —

you stop reacting from childhood pain.

You begin responding with adult presence.

You can finally digest your past — and forgive.

TOUCH THERAPY ISN’T JUST FOR BABIES

Even adults need touch to heal.

The body needs to be held — by others or by yourself.

Not sexually. Not socially. But biologically.

Try:

Self-massage with warm oils

Barefoot walking on natural earth

Receiving hugs from people who respect your space

Letting yourself cry in someone’s arms

Sleeping beside someone with safety

Holding your own hand during anxiety

Touch doesn’t erase trauma.

But it reminds the gut: You’re not alone anymore.

“When the skin softens, the gut follows.”

RECONNECTING WITH YOUR MOTHER

If your relationship with your mother is strained, cold, or distant —

don’t rush to “fix” it.

Start by asking:

Was her gut ever safe?

Was her touch ever free of fear?

Did anyone hold her when she cried?

If the answer is no —

then your pain is not personal.

It is intergenerational microbial trauma.

You don’t need dramatic conversations.

Sometimes, just:

Sitting together

Cooking together

Touching her feet sincerely

Massaging her hands

Asking about her birth story

Sharing your childhood gut issues

Apologizing for distance without blame

These can open ancient neural pathways.

“Your gut may open to her when your mouth still cannot.”

GUT-HEALING FOR RELATIONSHIP REPAIR

Start with your own body:

Stop cold foods and packaged snacks

Begin morning sun exposure

Eat fermented foods (kanji, curd, pickles, soaked rice)

Chew slowly, eat with hands

Sleep with the lights off, phone away

Walk daily, especially on soil

Do nothing for 30 minutes a day — let your gut speak

Let grief arise when it wants to — and listen without panic

These rituals begin to rebuild your gut lining.

And once your gut stops being inflamed,

your personality softens.

Your reactivity calms.

Your need to prove disappears.

Your love becomes less strategic and more natural.

“To reconnect with your mother, you must reconnect with your own gut first.”

THE HEALING MAY NEVER BE VERBAL

Some mothers may never say:

“I’m sorry.”

“I was scared.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I missed your body when you were a baby.”

But that’s okay.

You are not here to extract emotional payment.

You are here to end the starvation.

To feed your gut.

To become the mother you never had — for yourself, and maybe one day, for someone else.

CONCLUSION: THE GUT IS THE BRIDGE BACK HOME

We lose love in very subtle ways.

Through silence. Routine. Cold hands.

Through missed feeding windows. Plastic cribs.

Through the weight of ancestral shame.

But we can regain love just as subtly:

Through soft porridge

A warm cloth over the belly

A walk with your mother at sunset

A shared pickle recipe

A deep exhale

A nap without guilt

A tear that finally flows

And suddenly,

the gut starts trusting again.

And so does the relationship.

“The gut never hated your mother.

It just waited too long to feel her.”