THE GUT BETWEEN US – PART 3

FOOD, MILK, AND MOTHER’S INNER WEATHER

“IF MILK IS LOVE, FORMULA IS A CONTRACT.”

Feeding a baby is not just about calories.

It is the first conversation between two nervous systems.

Every sip of breastmilk is a transfer of not just nutrients, but beliefs, stress, warmth, bacteria, hormones, and memory.

To understand how the mother shapes the child’s gut and emotional world,

we must understand milk as language — and gut as the receiver of relationship.

BREASTMILK IS NOT A LIQUID — IT’S A LIVING BEING

Modern science confirms what every mammal knows instinctively:

Breastmilk is alive.

It contains:

Prebiotics (food for good bacteria)

Probiotics (actual bacteria)

Antibodies

Stem cells

Hormones (oxytocin, melatonin)

Messages that match the baby’s saliva

Responses that change based on baby’s stress or illness

This means the milk adapts — it changes daily based on what the baby needs.

It comforts the gut. Repairs the lining. Builds the microbiome.

It even transmits the mother’s emotional state.

When the mother is calm, the milk is calming.

When she is anxious, the milk carries signals of dysregulation.

“The child drinks the mother’s mood.”

FORMULA FEEDS THE STOMACH, NOT THE RELATIONSHIP

Formula milk is a marvel of engineering —

but a tragedy for bonding.

It does not contain live bacteria.

It does not adapt to the baby’s signals.

It does not convey emotional rhythm.

It does not teach the baby how to regulate.

Formula-fed babies have:

Higher chances of gut dysbiosis

More ear infections, colic, constipation

Lower microbial diversity

Higher adult risk of allergies, asthma, obesity

Greater difficulty self-soothing

But deeper than this:

Formula often replaces skin-to-skin contact with plastic bottles.

It separates the act of nourishment from the act of emotional bonding.

“Formula fills the baby. But empties something in between.”

SCHEDULED FEEDING VS. RESPONSIVE FEEDING

In older Indian cultures, babies were fed on demand.

Day or night. No clocks. No debates. No apps.

The child cried, the breast was offered.

This created not just good digestion — but emotional safety.

Today, with medicalisation and sleep training culture:

Babies are “trained” to wait.

Mothers are told not to spoil the baby.

Feeding is timed, monitored, and controlled.

What this creates is a gut that doesn’t trust food,

and a child who learns that their needs are inconvenient.

“If your hunger is denied often, your identity begins with shame.”

THE MOTHER’S GUT IS THE BABY’S BLUEPRINT

This may shock many, but it's true:

The mother’s gut health before and during pregnancy decides how robust the baby’s microbiome will be.

If the mother has:

Chronic constipation

Yeast overgrowth (candida)

Processed food addiction

Antibiotic history

High stress

No soil or fermented foods

Then she will have a damaged gut lining.

Which means her milk will lack many of the needed bacterial species.

And her emotions will be volatile.

The baby doesn’t just inherit this physically —

it inherits a relational template of fear and reactivity.

“Your gut becomes your child’s forecast.”

WHEN MOTHERS ARE SHAMED, GUTS ARE SHUT DOWN

Indian society worships the idea of sacrifice, not self-care.

Mothers are praised for skipping meals, working till exhaustion, eating last.

But what this creates is a mother whose body is depleted — and whose milk carries stress signals.

A tired mother has acidic milk.

A shamed mother has cortisol-rich milk.

A silenced mother passes on emotional suppression.

So the child develops gut pain, reflux, skin issues — and later, emotional issues.

“The baby doesn’t know the words. But its gut knows the story.”

CONCLUSION: TO FEED A CHILD IS TO SHAPE ITS FUTURE GUT

When you feed a child,

you are not just giving them food.

You are giving them a pattern of connection.

You are telling their gut:

Is this world safe?

Can I trust when I’m hungry?

Am I allowed to need?

Will someone respond?

If the answer is “yes,”

the gut grows rich, wise, and peaceful.

If the answer is “no,”

the gut becomes anxious, inflamed, or sluggish.

“Milk is memory.

And the gut is where all the unspoken memories are stored.”