THE GUT BETWEEN US – PART 1

THE FIRST TOUCH: HOW THE GUT IS SEEDED THROUGH LOVE

“THE FIRST CAREGIVER IS THE FIRST GUT GARDENER.”

When a baby is born, it doesn’t just arrive as a blank slate.

It comes waiting — for touch, for warmth, for rhythm.

But most importantly, for bacteria.

Not a poetic word, perhaps.

But in reality, your gut microbiome is your second DNA.

And this second genome — this internal jungle of trillions of bacteria, fungi, viruses — is seeded at birth, mostly by the mother.

The first relationship a human ever has is not emotional — it is microbial.

VAGINAL BIRTH IS THE FIRST INHERITANCE

During a natural vaginal birth, as the child passes through the birth canal, the mother coats the baby in a potent mix of vaginal, fecal, and skin bacteria.

Yes — fecal too. It’s not dirty. It’s ancestral transmission.

This is nature’s first gift to the baby —

an entire operating system of microbes that form the foundation of the immune system, digestion, and emotional regulation.

Now compare this with a C-section.

There is no canal.

There is no exposure.

The baby is pulled out surgically, under cold lights, handled by gloved strangers, rubbed down with antiseptics, and given formula milk.

The first contact is not mother’s warmth, but hospital steel.

In India, C-sections have skyrocketed — not due to medical necessity, but because of fear, convenience, and profit.

What is lost is not just “normal delivery.”

What is lost is a child’s gut identity.

“A careless birth becomes a lifelong separation.”

SKIN-TO-SKIN: WHEN LOVE MEETS IMMUNITY

Science has now confirmed what Indian grandmothers practiced instinctively:

holding the child on bare chest immediately after birth creates a miraculous cascade:

Regulates baby’s temperature

Seeds mother’s skin microbiome into baby’s body

Reduces infant stress and crying

Balances heartbeat and breath

Releases oxytocin in mother (the bonding hormone)

Strengthens immunity and reduces infections

In India’s ancient world, babies were not wheeled into glass boxes.

They were wrapped in old cotton saris, smelled their mother’s skin, heard her heartbeat.

This wasn’t attachment parenting — it was biological law.

Today, babies lie in plastic cradles under lights.

Nurses feed them formula.

Visitors pose for selfies.

And the mother lies drugged, stitched, and numb — both physically and emotionally.

“The child that misses the mother’s skin must find safety elsewhere — often in the wrong places.”

MICROBES ARE MEMORY

What most modern Indians don’t realize is this:

A baby’s first microbes influence its brain.

The gut and brain are connected via the gut–brain axis — a direct line of communication using nerves, chemicals, and bacteria.

The quality of microbes determines how well the child will:

Digest food

Fight infection

Manage stress

Bond with others

Trust humans

Sleep deeply

Grow emotionally resilient

In short:

If the mother is distant, anxious, or missing — the child’s microbes suffer.

If the child’s microbes suffer — their emotional world begins with a crack.

And this crack grows silently.

Into allergy.

Into eczema.

Into tantrums.

Into school refusal.

Into depression.

Into rage.

Into withdrawal from love.

“You don’t just inherit your mother’s looks. You inherit her inner weather.”

IF THE GUT IS BROKEN, SO IS THE BRIDGE

Many Indian families today complain that their children “don’t connect.”

Teenagers avoid their parents.

Grown-up children feel resentful.

Elderly mothers cry: “I gave him everything.”

But the truth is:

love is not about what you gave — it’s about how closely you stayed.

If the baby was born into detachment —

If it was left to cry

fed without eye contact

never breastfed

separated for work

touched by screens more than arms

then the microbiome was never fully planted.

And a weak gut

often becomes a weak bond.

“The child whose gut was starved of mother will grow a mind that mistrusts connection.”

CONCLUSION: YOU DON'T JUST BIRTH A BABY. YOU BIRTH A RELATIONSHIP.

We talk about love.

We sing lullabies.

We decorate nurseries.

But what a child really needs

is a body close to another body

a gut that can grow inside safety

a touch that says: “you’re home here.”

If you miss this window — the gut and the heart both learn suspicion.

And then, you’ll spend a lifetime trying to fix a child

whose body simply didn’t feel held

when it mattered most.

“If you want a child to trust you forever, begin with the first bacteria.”