The EMIs of Existence
- Madhukar Dama
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
How the Middle Class Became Voluntary Slaves to Interest, Illusion, and Insecurity — and Paid With Their Health
I. A DEBTOR’S PYRAMID
The Rich live off assets.
The Poor live by daily labor.
The Beggars survive off others.
But a fifth, unspoken class now exists:
The Voluntary Slaves
Middle-class people who appear stable — but everything they “own” is bought on borrowed money, and every action is bound to repayment schedules.
They walk into a bank to buy freedom, but walk out with an invisible collar.
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II. THE FINANCIAL TREADMILL OF SUFFERING
Every month:
Salary arrives.
EMI takes the first cut.
Credit card takes the next.
School fees, groceries, rent, utilities, insurance, vehicle service, fuel, and emergencies consume the rest.
What’s left is guilt for not saving and fear for the future.
This isn't just a financial cycle.
It’s a full-body, full-life erosion.
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III. HOW THE LOAN LIFESTYLE DESTROYS HEALTH
1. HYPERTENSION AND SLEEP DISORDERS
Constant subconscious calculation: "Will I have enough next month?"
Unpredictable interest rate hikes, job insecurity, inflation fears
Brain remains in “fight or flight” mode even during sleep
Result: High BP, broken sleep, bruxism (teeth grinding), snoring, anxiety dreams
2. GUT ISSUES, ACIDITY, IBS
Rushed eating
Work breaks sacrificed for EMI calls, banking apps, financial juggling
Worry becomes a permanent ingredient in meals
Result: Chronic constipation, GERD, ulcers, loss of appetite
3. WEIGHT GAIN & LIFESTYLE DISEASES
Cheap processed foods become default choices
Cooking is replaced by food delivery because “time is money”
Gym membership bought on EMI but never used
Result: Obesity, PCOD, diabetes, insulin resistance, fatigue
4. NECK, SHOULDER, BACK PROBLEMS
Sitting long hours without movement
Commuting long distances to afford cheaper housing
No sunlight or walking due to work demands
Result: Frozen shoulder, migraines, slip disc, nerve compression
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IV. MENTAL & EMOTIONAL FALLOUT
5. DECISION FATIGUE
Daily micro-decisions: which bill to pay first, which EMI to delay
Brain never gets cognitive rest
Result: Irritability, absentmindedness, rage at children, road rage
6. CHRONIC GUILT & PARENTAL SHAME
Can’t attend school functions
Can’t buy quality time, only gifts
Constant fear of not giving enough
Result: Guilt-induced overbuying, emotional distance, shouting to suppress self-hate
7. UNRECOGNIZED TRAUMA
Getting an EMI rejection or falling behind on a payment = micro trauma
Often dismissed as “stress,” but body registers it as failure
Result: Mood swings, low libido, distrust, self-doubt, imposter syndrome
8. CONSTANT COMPARISON & SOCIAL ANXIETY
Scrolling social media, seeing others “thriving”
Shame of missing out, pretending online
Result: Jealousy, inferiority, impulsive spending to “match”
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V. PSYCHOLOGICAL AND BEHAVIORAL DAMAGE
9. EMOTIONAL PARALYSIS
Can’t plan vacations without guilt
Can’t take a sabbatical, rest, or reinvent self
Decision-making becomes purely financial
Result: Loss of spontaneity, no excitement, blankness
10. HYPER-REACTIVITY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Spouses fight over money and expenses
Parenting becomes discipline, not affection
Children grow up hearing "We can’t afford"
Result: Broken communication, detachment, cold intimacy
11. DIGITAL ADDICTION AS ESCAPE
Phone becomes the only zone of “control” and “reward”
Dopamine hits from scrolling to forget loan messages
Result: Tech burnout, insomnia, cognitive decline
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VI. RARE BUT DEEP ISSUES (USUALLY IGNORED)
12. FINANCIAL INDUCED SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION
Libido suppressed by pressure
Attraction replaced by stress
Result: Performance anxiety, avoidance, dissatisfaction
13. LOAN-CENTERED LIFE STAGE FREEZE
Many delay marriage, childbirth, or taking care of elders due to debt
Life becomes stuck at survival mode
Result: Emotional numbness, loneliness, suppressed longing
14. LOSS OF AUTHENTICITY
Saying yes to jobs you hate
Smiling at bosses who insult you
Living in areas you dislike because rent is low
Result: Crushing of self-worth, acting for survival, becoming a shell
15. INHERITABLE DEBT TRAUMA
Children raised in loan-heavy homes develop anxiety by age 10
Hear daily tension, arguments, and “cutting corners”
Result: Early onset of depression, toxic money beliefs, poor financial literacy
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VII. YOU ARE NOT STRESSED — YOU ARE ENSLAVED
Most middle-class people don’t need therapy.
They need freedom.
They aren’t sick —
They are over-programmed.
They are not failures —
They are caught in an engineered lifestyle that turns human life into an economic function.
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VIII. THE QUIET EXIT
Freedom doesn't come by earning more.
It comes from needing less.
Here’s what breaking out looks like:
Cancel the credit card
Move to a smaller house
Delete shopping apps
Share, barter, walk
Say no to every purchase that requires a loan
Grow one edible plant
Eat food you cooked
Talk without scrolling
Sleep without EMIs whispering at the back of your head
Freedom returns
not with a salary jump —
but with a bill that never arrives.
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HEALING DIALOGUE
THE LOANS THAT EAT THE BODY
Setting:
A slow afternoon in a small clearing outside Madhukar the Hermit’s mud house.
A city couple — Ravi (38) and Nandini (36) — arrive with dark circles, stiff bodies, and their phones buzzing with EMI reminders.
They left the kids with grandparents for a weekend "break," but their faces carry more fatigue than peace.
Madhukar sits cross-legged near a lemon tree, cleaning rice. His smile is deep, not wide.
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RAVI (half-laughing):
We used to come to the forest for a picnic.
Now we come to beg for sanity.
MADHUKAR:
You never lost it. You leased it.
To the EMI.
NANDINI (rubbing her temples):
Every month feels like war.
The salary comes… and within hours, it vanishes.
RAVI:
Car loan. Home loan. School fee. Health insurance.
Even the fridge was on EMI until last month.
We own nothing.
Not even our time.
MADHUKAR (softly):
You don’t own your bodies either.
Your necks are stiff.
Your breath is shallow.
Your stomach is acidic.
Your skin forgets the sun.
These are not accidents.
They are symptoms of silent debt.
NANDINI:
But what else could we have done? We studied, got jobs, bought a house in a good locality… We tried to be responsible.
MADHUKAR:
Who defined responsible?
The same people who sold you education as a passport,
housing as security,
gadgets as identity,
and childhood as tuition packages.
RAVI (guilt rising):
Our 9-year-old daughter says she has a headache every morning.
Doctors say it’s "nothing."
But I feel… she’s just absorbing our tension.
MADHUKAR:
Of course. Children don’t copy your words.
They inherit your nervous system.
NANDINI:
I haven’t slept in weeks.
Even when I lie down, my mind does EMIs in circles.
Sometimes I imagine getting sick just to rest.
MADHUKAR:
That’s already happening.
Most people don’t break from suffering.
They surrender to breakdown.
Your body is negotiating with your obligations.
RAVI (half-joking):
So what now? Sell everything and run away?
MADHUKAR:
No.
Start with one thing you can stop paying for.
Buy back your time one step at a time.
The question isn’t what to earn more.
The question is:
What are you willing to live without?
NANDINI:
We don’t even know what we actually need anymore.
MADHUKAR:
That’s where freedom begins.
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CHARLES BUKOWSKI–STYLE POEM
EMI IS MY RELIGION
they gave me a house
with walls that echo emptiness
and a smile that doesn’t reach the bedroom.
they gave me a car
with heated seats
to cry in on the way to the job
I hate.
they gave me schooling for my kids
so they could learn
how to inherit
my exhaustion.
they told me to dream
so I borrowed.
they told me to upgrade
so I mortgaged.
they told me to invest in gold
so I pawned my time.
my stomach burns.
my chest tightens.
my head forgets things.
my kids ask me
why I’m always angry.
I say “sorry”
and order food again.
there is no God anymore.
there is only EMI.
she visits every month.
more punctual than prayer.
more binding than marriage.
more frightening than disease.
I don’t sleep.
I budget.
I don’t eat.
I calculate.
I don’t dream.
I scroll.
they say I’m middle class.
but I’m at the bottom
of a well made of interest.
I wave politely
as other slaves jog by —
each holding their iPhones
and dead dreams.
someday
my daughter will ask me:
“what did you do with your life?”
and I will say,
“I made every payment on time.”
and she will know,
I was never
alive.
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