THE DIAGNOSIS IS NOT YOURS ALONE
- Madhukar Dama
- May 18
- 8 min read
Why isolating the sick person is cruel, foolish, and a guarantee that the next patient is already in the queue
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INTRODUCTION: THE DAY THE DIAGNOSIS ARRIVES
A blood test.
A scan.
A doctor's report.
One person in the house is told: "You have high sugar. You have thyroid. You have fatty liver. You have an autoimmune condition."
Everyone gasps.
Everyone acts shocked.
Everyone asks: “Why you?”
But nobody turns the mirror around.
Nobody asks:
“Why not me?”
“Aren’t we all eating the same food, sleeping the same way, ignoring the same warnings?”
In most families, diagnosis is seen as an individual tragedy.
But in truth, it’s a family symptom.
A reflection of the shared disease called lifestyle.
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I. ONE GETS DIAGNOSED, ALL ARE RESPONSIBLE
It is never random.
You all ate from the same oil, the same sugar, the same reheated rice.
You all sat with screens at night.
You all ignored pain, skipped bowel signals, and glorified exhaustion.
You all feared silence and chased convenience.
You all thought dal from a packet and fruit from the fridge was enough.
But one body broke down first.
And that’s not unfair — that’s biology choosing the weakest link to scream first.
The diagnosis is not an exception.
It is a warning siren for everyone.
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II. THE FAMILY REACTION: SYMPATHY, ISOLATION, AND SUBTLE HOSTILITY
Instead of uniting, most families divide.
The sick person is now served different food, like they’re being punished.
They are told to “just control yourself.”
They are watched like a criminal around snacks.
Their tiredness is mocked — “Why are you acting like a patient?”
They are emotionally abandoned: “Don’t make everything about your illness.”
Meanwhile, the rest continue with fried food, white sugar, 11 PM dinners, and zero movement.
The person trying to heal becomes the outsider.
Not because they’re different.
But because they dared to change.
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III. WHEN DIAGNOSIS CREATES DAILY WAR
It becomes routine:
The patient eats at 7 PM — others eat at 10.
The patient asks for oil-free food — others roll their eyes.
The patient skips sweets — others call them “boring.”
The patient sleeps early — others make noise.
The patient shares new insights — others laugh: “Are you a doctor now?”
In short:
The sick one becomes inconvenient.
This is how diagnosis becomes not just a health issue —
but a family power struggle,
a social rejection,
and a spiritual test.
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IV. WHAT REALLY HAPPENS: THE FAMILY STOPS THE HEALING
Healing requires support. Rhythm. Shared commitment. Silence.
But the sick person is left fighting on all fronts:
Their body — pain, fatigue, inflammation
Their mind — fear, regret, overwhelm
Their environment — lack of cooperation, ridicule, sabotage
Instead of a home becoming a healing space,
it becomes a battlefield.
Instead of “we’ll change together,”
it becomes: “you fix yourself, we’re fine.”
That’s a lie.
Because the next diagnosis is already growing quietly in someone else's gut, blood, or brain.
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V. THE NEXT DIAGNOSIS IS ALREADY BREWING
Your father has diabetes.
Your mother has thyroid.
You laugh and say, “I’ll be careful.”
But are you?
You’re still eating refined food.
You’re still sleeping past midnight.
You’re still reacting instead of reflecting.
You’re still dehydrated, constipated, numb.
You still haven’t walked barefoot on soil in a year.
You haven’t fasted, slowed down, or felt your breath.
Then your diagnosis comes.
And you act surprised — again.
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VI. HOW TO RESPOND WHEN SOMEONE GETS SICK
A diagnosis is not a private affair.
It’s a collective wake-up call.
Here’s what healing families do:
Everyone changes the dinner timing
Everyone stops refined food
Everyone starts walking together
Everyone eats simpler
Everyone makes noise-free mornings
Everyone reduces screen time
Everyone fasts — even if just once a week
Everyone talks less about the disease and more about the cause
Everyone supports, learns, adapts, and listens
Because healing multiplies in community. So does disease.
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VII. THE HEALING TRUTH: ONE HEALS WHEN ALL GROW TOGETHER
The human body is individual.
But the environment — food, air, noise, emotion — is shared.
If you don’t change the environment,
you’re just changing the bandage on one person —
while the wound keeps growing in others.
And when that second diagnosis comes —
it doesn’t just add suffering.
It confirms what was ignored the first time.
You don’t fix a rotten branch.
You fix the soil.
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CONCLUSION: STOP POINTING. START SHIFTING.
When one person in your home is diagnosed,
don’t say: “Poor thing.”
Don’t say: “Be careful.”
Say this:
“We’re all in this together.”
And then live like you mean it.
Because healing is not a solo journey.
It’s a family-wide revolution.
And your body — every one of them — is watching.
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"IT’S JUST HIM… WE ARE FINE."
A healing dialogue with Madhukar the Hermit and a family of denial experts — where one is diagnosed, but everyone is diseased
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Characters:
Madhukar (43): Former scientist turned hermit, lives simply in the forest, guides families in healing without medicines.
Shankar (52): Diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, tired, irritable, trying to change.
Savita (48): His wife, overweight, emotionally manipulative, addicted to sugar and TV.
Kiran (22): Son, drinks energy drinks, gym-obsessed, sleeps late, defensive.
Asha (18): Daughter, constantly on Instagram, hormonal acne, moody, sarcastic.
Appaji (78): Shankar’s father. Boasts about never being sick, despite constipation, gout, and three bypasses.
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SCENE: The family arrives at Madhukar’s hut, reluctantly. Shankar’s diabetes has worsened despite medicines. He requested the visit. Others came to “see what nonsense he’s chasing.”
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I. THE BLAME PARADE BEGINS
Madhukar:
You’ve come with a question. What is it?
Shankar:
I want to heal naturally. Medicines are not working. My sugar keeps rising. I feel exhausted all day.
Savita:
He’s too stressed. That’s why. I keep telling him not to take tension.
Kiran:
Honestly, Appa just overthinks. That’s all. We’re all okay.
Asha:
We don’t eat like him. He finishes a whole packet of chips alone.
Appaji:
In our days, we didn’t have diabetes. It’s because these people keep going to doctors.
Madhukar (quietly smiling):
I see. So only one man is sick in this family.
And everyone else is perfect?
(Silence. Awkward glances.)
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II. GENTLE EXPOSURE THROUGH QUESTIONS
Madhukar:
Let’s ask some questions.
Who eats dinner after 9 PM?
(All raise hands except Shankar.)
Madhukar:
Who uses a mobile phone while eating?
(All raise hands, including Appaji.)
Madhukar:
Who walks barefoot on soil daily?
(All shake heads.)
Madhukar:
Who has at least one bowel movement before sunrise?
(Everyone laughs.)
Madhukar:
Then tell me — why is only Shankar diseased?
Savita (defensive):
Because his stress is more.
Madhukar:
Who creates the stress?
(Silence.)
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III. SHIFTING FROM BLAME TO RESPONSIBILITY
Madhukar:
You think you’re safe because you haven’t been diagnosed.
But I see:
A tired liver in Kiran.
Insulin resistance on Asha’s skin.
A sluggish gut in Savita.
Silent inflammation in Appaji.
The only difference is — Shankar’s body screamed first.
Asha (murmuring):
I do get tired often, and my acne’s not going.
Kiran (still resisting):
But I work out daily.
Madhukar:
And sleep at 2 AM. Build muscle, lose health.
Savita:
So what should we do? Everyone says life is busy. What’s wrong in watching TV after dinner?
Madhukar:
The body doesn’t care about your schedule.
It runs on sun, soil, sleep, and silence — not family excuses.
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IV. BRINGING OUT THE TRUTH
Madhukar (to Appaji):
How many medicines do you take daily?
Appaji (hesitating):
Only 4… for BP, heart, uric acid, and digestion.
Madhukar:
That’s not “never being sick.” That’s lifelong suppression.
You say, “we didn’t have these diseases” —
No. You just didn’t get diagnosed.
You had:
Gas = poor gut.
Constipation = chronic toxicity.
Bypass = emergency proof of denial.
Still, you mock your son?
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V. THE REAL QUESTION
Madhukar (to everyone):
If your house is on fire, and only one room shows smoke —
do you fix that room…
or check the whole house?
Your family is burning from the same fire:
Late nights
White sugar
Fried food
Screens
Sitting
Unexpressed emotion
Emotional manipulation
Guilt and silence
But you’re busy blaming the burnt curtain — not the flame.
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VI. THE TURNING POINT
Shankar (tearing up):
Every time I try to eat differently, they mock me.
When I wake up early, they disturb me.
They say I’ve become “too health obsessed.”
I feel alone in my own home.
Asha (quietly):
I did laugh at you, Appa. But I feel weak too. My skin, my mood... something’s off.
Kiran (sighs):
I haven’t felt fresh in the morning in years. I thought it’s normal.
Savita (softly):
Maybe… we’re all sick. Just not diagnosed yet.
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VII. MADHUKAR’S GUIDANCE: COLLECTIVE HEALING
Madhukar:
Disease is a family shadow.
You can either fight it together — or break one member at a time.
Here’s what you will do:
Same dinner time for all.
One TV-free, gadget-free meal daily.
Everyone walks barefoot 10 minutes a day.
One day per week — family fasting or fruit-only day.
Night: Sit together in silence, no talk, no TV, no phone. Just breathe.
No sarcasm, no blame — only observation.
This is not for Shankar.
This is for your home.
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VIII. 3-MONTH TRANSFORMATION
Month 1:
Resistance, mockery, slips.
Madhukar reminds them: "Mocking is a symptom of fear."
Kiran starts waking up early. Asha drinks herbal infusions.
Month 2:
Family walks barefoot together.
TV is turned off at 8.
Bloating, acne, and fatigue begin to reduce.
Shankar feels supported.
Month 3:
Shankar’s blood sugar stabilizes.
Savita loses 3 kg and feels emotionally lighter.
Asha’s skin clears. Kiran’s headaches stop.
Appaji quietly stops two pills.
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IX. CONCLUSION: DIAGNOSIS AS DOORWAY
Madhukar:
When one of you breaks down, don’t isolate them.
Follow them.
They are the first to hear the body’s scream.
If one suffers — change the fire, not the furniture.
Healing doesn’t happen alone.
It happens when a family stops hiding from truth and starts walking toward it — barefoot, together.
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“MOCKING THE SICK WHILE ROTTING INSIDE”
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he was the first to fall —
tired eyes, slow legs, sugar dancing in his veins like drunk gods.
they called it diabetes.
he called it a message.
but the house —
the house said: “control yourself.”
the house said: “just take the medicine.”
the house said: “you’re making it a big deal.”
they mocked his 7 pm dinners.
they crunched their chips at midnight
like laughter was therapy
and the TV light could cancel inflammation.
his daughter posted fitness reels
and ate sugar-free lies.
his son flexed his biceps over a dying liver.
his wife poured oil on her guilt
and called it rasam.
even the old man,
who had three stents, zero bowel movements,
and five pills between meals,
said: “we were stronger in our time.”
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but rot doesn’t always shout.
sometimes it just sits quietly
in knees, in moods, in skin, in breath.
while he changed,
they rolled their eyes.
while he healed,
they fried more.
while he slowed down,
they sped up —
toward their own diagnosis.
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he didn’t want to be worshipped.
he just didn’t want to eat poison.
but truth is ugly
in a house that feeds on denial.
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the real disease?
not diabetes.
not PCOS.
not thyroid.
not fatty liver.
the real disease was
“i’m fine.”
“i’m different.”
“that won’t happen to me.”
and by the time they looked up —
they were all waiting
for their own blood reports
to scream the same thing
his eyes did
years ago.
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the body doesn’t forgive ignorance.
it just stores it.
until it’s time to show
the bill.
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