THE CURSE OF UNDERSTANDING
- Madhukar Dama
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
When Trying to Understand Life Makes It Unlivable
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INTRODUCTION
A baby doesn’t understand walking.
It simply walks.
A crow doesn’t understand wind resistance.
It simply flies.
But a human?
We don’t allow ourselves to breathe, eat, sleep, love, or die…
without first trying to understand it all.
And that, right there,
is the curse.
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1. UNDERSTANDING IS A BEAUTIFUL TRAP
We are taught from the beginning:
Understand first, then act.
So we wait. We research. We analyze.
We go to school to “understand” life.
But we never leave the classroom.
Understanding becomes the cage.
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2. LIFE WAS NEVER DESIGNED TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Animals don’t try to understand love.
Birds don’t study wing dynamics.
Rivers don’t ask where they’re going.
They flow.
They live.
The moment you try to grasp life in your mind,
you stop feeling it with your being.
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3. THE DISEASE OF EXPLANATION
We don’t listen to the rain.
We explain evaporation.
We don’t feel hunger.
We calculate calories.
We don’t sleep when tired.
We consult Google for ideal sleep cycles.
The result?
We are surrounded by knowledge and starved of wisdom.
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4. UNDERSTANDING IS SAFE—LIVING IS DANGEROUS
To understand something is to distance yourself from it.
You can understand a fire…
but you can’t cook without touching flame.
You can understand heartbreak…
but you can’t love without risking it.
Understanding is neat. Living is not.
So we understand life until it's no longer life—
just a syllabus.
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5. THE MIND CAN NEVER GRASP THE WHOLE
You may understand the parts:
The body’s organs
The brain’s neurons
The economy’s graphs
But life is not parts. It is whole.
And wholeness can only be lived—never understood.
The more you try to understand the mystery,
the more you murder it.
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6. THE WISDOM OF NOT KNOWING
The happiest people are not the most educated.
The calmest people are not the most informed.
The most alive people are not the most intelligent.
They are the ones who allowed life to pass through them,
without insisting on understanding it.
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THE DIALOGUE
“Why Do You Want to Understand Everything?”
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SCENE:
A young PhD scholar, Tara, visits Madhukar’s hut with a backpack full of books.
She has studied psychology, neurobiology, philosophy — yet feels more lost than ever.
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TARA: I’ve studied every school of thought.
Freud. Buddha. Nietzsche. Bessel van der Kolk.
Still, I wake up every day with anxiety.
I thought understanding would heal me.
MADHUKAR (sitting by a fire): Understanding heals nothing.
It just gives the illusion that you’re doing something.
TARA: But don’t we need understanding to grow?
MADHUKAR: No. We need presence.
Did a tree read a manual before it grew?
Did your grandmother understand dopamine when she loved?
TARA (confused): Then why are we given minds at all?
MADHUKAR: To chop wood, count cows, and compose lullabies.
Not to dissect the soul.
TARA: But I thought knowledge sets you free.
MADHUKAR: No.
Silence sets you free.
Knowledge is the most sophisticated prison ever built.
TARA: Then what do I do with everything I’ve learned?
MADHUKAR: Bury it under your bare feet.
Let it compost.
Let life teach you again—like the rain teaches a leaf.
No syllabus. No theory. Just flow.
TARA (a tear falls): I don’t want to understand anymore. I just want to feel again.
MADHUKAR: That means your healing has begun.
Understanding is noise.
But life, life is a quiet song.
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“THE MIND IS A MIRROR THAT BREAKS WHATEVER IT TOUCHES”
i wanted to understand
why i was sad.
so i read twenty books.
i wrote a thesis.
i explained my childhood
with flowcharts.
and when i looked up,
i was still sad—
but now i also hated myself
for not healing
despite understanding everything.
they said
knowledge is power.
but i found
it’s just
weight.
i studied death
so i wouldn’t fear it.
and now i walk like a ghost
trying to make sense of wind.
i read so many books
i forgot how to speak to trees.
i knew every hormone
but couldn’t enjoy a hug.
i forgot that
joy is not a theory,
pain is not a paper,
and love—
love doesn’t need
a TED Talk.
so now,
i light a fire.
burn the books.
sit with wind.
and listen.
because
the world doesn’t need
another mind.
it needs a heart
that stopped explaining.
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