SIMPLE TRICK TO END ALL YOUR TRAPS
- Madhukar Dama
- May 26
- 5 min read

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PROLOGUE
Most people believe love is a choice.
That bonding is spiritual.
That trust is earned.
But what if it’s not?
What if your deepest feelings of warmth, affection, loyalty, and even sacrifice... were hijacked by a molecule?
Welcome to the oxytocin trap — a neurochemical seduction that turns you into a puppet of your own biology.
This essay is a brutally honest, multi-layered guide to help you see, feel, and escape this invisible loop that has controlled families, lovers, children, animals, and even gods.
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SECTION 1: WHAT IS OXYTOCIN — AND WHY YOU SHOULD BE SUSPICIOUS
Oxytocin is a hormone and neurotransmitter.
Its mainstream nickname is “the love hormone.”
It’s released in moments of physical closeness, emotional connection, and perceived safety.
But here’s what most people don’t know:
It doesn’t measure truth, only closeness.
It doesn’t reward growth, only comfort.
It doesn’t care about justice, only bonding.
It can reward abusers, protect manipulators, and enslave the innocent.
In nature, oxytocin evolved to ensure infant survival by binding a mother to her helpless baby.
But in modern society, it has been weaponized to create lifelong emotional servitude, often without your consent or awareness.
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SECTION 2: THE CORE MECHANISM — THE OXYTOCIN LOOP
This loop is simple but deadly:

1. Stimulus — A gaze, a touch, a cry, or an “I love you.”
2. Oxytocin Release — Your brain floods with warmth and connection.
3. Behavioral Change — You forgive, obey, adjust, surrender.
4. Reward — You feel safe, needed, or validated.
5. Repetition — You keep coming back. You don’t even know why.
Now let’s break down who or what uses this loop — and how to protect yourself.
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SECTION 3: CATEGORY-WISE BREAKDOWN OF OXYTOCIN TRIGGERS & TRAPS
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A. HUMAN TRIGGERS — THE PEOPLE WHO BIND YOU
These are people whose presence or behaviors make you emotionally surrender.
Examples:
Babies and toddlers
Romantic partners
Parents or caregivers
Friends who “open up” emotionally
Dying or grieving individuals
Survivors of trauma you feel close to
Dangers:
You begin to prioritize their needs over your truth.
You mistake emotional debt for love.
You endure abuse or dishonesty because “they need me.”
You confuse emotional pain with depth.
Defense:
Track if your actions are from clarity or obligation.
Pause before rescuing. Ask: Is this my role?
Don’t trade self-worth for the illusion of being needed.
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B. ANIMAL TRIGGERS — THE DOMESTICATED SEDUCERS
Especially pets like dogs, cats, and parrots, who use gaze, sound, and neotenic (baby-like) features to enslave you emotionally.
Most Dangerous:
Dogs: They master the “oxytocin gaze,” mimicking babies to activate your parenting circuit.
Cats: Use purring and proximity to trigger nurture response.
Parrots: Mimic voices to form emotional loops.
Dangers:
You give up freedom, time, travel, and clarity for them.
You start defending your pet more than your family.
You mistake dependence for love.
Defense:
Observe who is training whom.
Don’t assign moral value to animal behavior.
Cut emotional reaction — respond with clarity, not hormonal pull.
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C. BODY-BASED TRIGGERS — TOUCH THAT ENSLAVES
Your skin is a gateway for oxytocin.
Touch, sex, massage, co-sleeping — all bypass the mind and tap straight into emotional wiring.
Examples:
Hugging
Breastfeeding
Sex or post-sex moments
Shared physical practices like dance or yoga
Dangers:
You start confusing pleasure with partnership.
You fall for toxicity wrapped in touch.
You remain in relationships because of physical chemistry, not alignment.
Defense:
Notice if touch clarifies or clouds your judgment.
Ask: “Would I still be here if I never touched this person?”
Withdraw physical intimacy to test the foundation.
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D. OBJECTS AND SYMBOLS — THE EMOTIONAL ARTIFACTS
Photos, keepsakes, toys, letters — they trigger old oxytocin bonds, pulling you back into past emotional loops.
Examples:
Childhood soft toys
Old love letters
Photos of deceased or lost relationships
Religious statues or garments
Baby clothes
Dangers:
You relive old emotional states and stay stuck.
You form attachments to memories, not reality.
You mistake nostalgia for truth or meaning.
Defense:
Touch these objects and observe what emotion arises.
Let go of emotionally charged items that no longer serve your growth.
Keep memory, not bondage.
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E. TECHNOLOGY-INDUCED OXYTOCIN LOOPS
Modern tech simulates intimacy:
Voice notes, chatbots, emotional reels — they mimic connection and keep you hooked.
Examples:
Text messages from exes
AI companions
Cute animal videos
Virtual pets
Emotional movies or series binges
Dangers:
Your brain reacts as if it’s real bonding.
You waste energy on simulated affection.
You stay plugged in, emotionally hijacked by algorithms.
Defense:
Separate emotion from screen.
Reduce exposure to synthetic intimacy.
Unplug to reclaim raw feeling.
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F. SOCIAL & STRUCTURAL MANIPULATORS
Religions, cults, therapists, politicians — all know how to trigger oxytocin through “love, service, belonging.”
Examples:
Gurus who hug followers
Leaders who call you “family”
Spiritual retreats that involve crying, chanting
Therapists who cross ethical boundaries
“Sacrificial parenting” culture
Dangers:
You surrender logic for emotional inclusion.
You stop questioning, fearing you’ll lose the “love.”
You stay in servitude disguised as loyalty.
Defense:
Track how many truths you suppress to belong.
Question every system that demands loyalty in return for love.
If love is conditioned — it’s a drug, not a bond.
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G. MANIPULATIVE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Abusers, narcissists, guilt-trippers — they use oxytocin strategically.
The classic pattern: hurt–comfort–hurt–comfort.
Examples:
A toxic partner who cries after every betrayal
Parents who shame you and hug you in the same hour
“Can’t live without you” threats
Silent treatments followed by sudden affection
Dangers:
You start equating pain with connection.
You endure decades of abuse, trapped in a hormonal seesaw.
Your body is trained to crave the abuser.
Defense:
Study patterns, not moments.
Break the touch/gaze/smell triggers.
Remember: Real love is consistent. Hormonal loops are chaotic.
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SECTION 4: HOW TO IDENTIFY IF YOU’RE IN AN OXYTOCIN LOOP
Ask yourself:
Do I feel guilty or anxious when this person/animal/object is not near me?
Do I sacrifice my clarity, routine, or needs to protect this bond?
Do I stay even when truth tells me to leave?
Do I confuse affection with purpose?
If yes — you’re not in love.
You’re in an oxytocin trap.
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SECTION 5: HOW TO ESCAPE THE LOOP
1. Pause the Response
Take time before reacting emotionally.
Replace immediate touch/gaze with reflection or silence.
2. Reduce Repetition
Break the ritual. Don’t respond every time.
Starve the loop of predictable cues.
3. Withdraw Slowly
Sudden exits can shock the nervous system.
But gradual distancing breaks dependence.
4. Build Awareness, Not Bonds
Instead of seeking connection, seek clarity.
Ask: “Is this making me more myself — or less?”
5. Heal Original Wounds
Most oxytocin traps feed on unhealed need — for love, safety, or approval.
Heal those, and you become immune to manipulation.
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EPILOGUE:
Oxytocin doesn’t care if you’re in a lie.
It will reward a liar who hugs you.
It will silence your wisdom for a sad gaze.
It will bind you to people who break you — and keep you crawling back.
This is not love. This is chemistry.
And until you rise above it,
you will mistake your cage for care, and your captor for comfort.
Break the loop.
Feel without being fooled.
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