Report Card Ramayan: The Sacred Religion of Indian Parents
- Madhukar Dama
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
Thou shalt worship marks or be cast out into the tuition pit.
---
INTRODUCTION: THE TEMPLE OF TOPPERS
In most Indian households, there’s only one true religion —
Academics.
The holy trinity:
Maths. Science. English.
The sacred texts:
NCERT, Olympiads, Board Exam Syllabus.
The messiah:
Rank #1.
The demon:
"Below 90%."
Childhood is no longer a journey.
It’s a rat race dressed as divine duty.
---
CHAPTER 1: THE SACRIFICE OF CHILDHOOD
Playtime is sin.
Sleeping before midnight is laziness.
Questioning the syllabus is rebellion.
Children are raised like endangered parrots —
fed syllables, taught to repeat, and punished for flight.
A child who sings, paints, climbs trees?
"Not focused."
A child who memorizes the Periodic Table backwards?
"Born gifted."
---
CHAPTER 2: THE MARKS MANDIR
Every exam season is a spiritual war.
The priest (parent) prepares offerings:
almonds, Horlicks, and unrealistic expectations.
The child (sacrificial goat) is laced in fear and formulae.
The shrine (study table) is adorned with flashcards and guilt.
The prayer:
“Beta, just score 95+ — after that, life will be set.”
No one asks what happens after that.
Because there’s always another exam.
Another level.
Another god to please.
---
CHAPTER 3: FESTIVAL OF RESULTS (Aka Family Olympics)
When results are out:
If high: “My child, my genes.”
If low: “That teacher is biased. And also, what have you been doing with your life?”
Every relative becomes a performance auditor.
Every child becomes a report card.
And don’t forget:
Marks are not just marks.
They are the new caste system.
---
CHAPTER 4: THE UNHOLY RITUALS OF PARENTAL DEVOTION
"Let’s post your results on WhatsApp status."
(Child dies silently inside.)
“No TV until you improve in physics.”
(Joy = punishment currency.)
“If you don’t top, how will you become something?”
(Apparently you’re nothing now.)
“I got 94% in 1986. What’s your excuse?”
(Ancestral trauma being passed like property.)
---
CHAPTER 5: THE CURSE OF “SET LIFE”
The final illusion:
“Just get into IIT/NIT/MBBS. After that, your life will be set.”
Set where?
Set in a job that kills soul?
Set in debt for a coaching scam?
Set in an office cubicle allergic to sunlight?
Most of these “set” children are now depressed, burnt out, or quietly googling "how to quit everything and live in a forest."
---
DETAILED CONCISE SUMMARY QUOTE:
“When parents worship the report card, they sacrifice the child. And when the child finally rebels, they call it ingratitude — never realizing it was survival.”
---
DIALOGUE:
“My Child Is a Tenth Ranker”
A Visit to Madhukar the Hermit
---
Father (smiling with pride):
My daughter scored 96% in boards.
She’s in three tuitions. Next, we’re preparing for NEET.
---
Madhukar:
Hmm. And what does she dream of?
---
Father:
That’s not important. She’s focused. Doesn’t waste time on silly hobbies.
---
Madhukar:
So you gave her a syllabus… but not a soul?
---
Father:
We want her to have a settled life.
---
Madhukar:
Settled like a grave?
---
Father (confused):
No no, we mean security. Success.
---
Madhukar:
What you call success
is a child learning to fear mistakes
and seek approval forever.
---
Father:
But everyone does this.
---
Madhukar:
That’s what they said in war too.
---
Mother (softly):
She doesn’t laugh anymore, Madhukar ji.
Only studies. Sometimes cries in sleep.
---
Madhukar:
The child isn’t broken.
Your worship is.
She came to life with light in her hands.
You gave her a pen and told her to write the same number again and again — until it became her worth.
---
Father (sitting down quietly):
What should we do?
---
Madhukar:
Unlearn.
Unlove her performance.
Love her presence.
Let her rest.
Let her fail.
Let her forget.
Let her remember who she is — beyond the ink on a paper.
---