Marriage Readiness Checklist
- Madhukar Dama
- 8 hours ago
- 6 min read
"A girl is not ready for marriage if she..."
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EMOTIONAL READINESS
1. ...doesn’t know how to be alone without feeling lonely.
2. ...thinks marriage will fix her sadness.
3. ...needs someone else to make her happy.
4. ...fears being abandoned all the time.
5. ...craves validation constantly.
6. ...mistakes attention for love.
7. ...is still healing from a breakup.
8. ...can’t express her emotions clearly.
9. ...gets angry when boundaries are set.
10. ...can’t say no without guilt.
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MENTAL MATURITY
11. ...doesn’t understand what compromise truly means.
12. ...has never questioned societal expectations.
13. ...thinks marriage is the ultimate achievement.
14. ...believes a wedding is more important than the life after it.
15. ...wants marriage to escape her family.
16. ...thinks being married will give her worth.
17. ...has no idea why she wants to marry.
18. ...is doing it because “age is running out.”
19. ...believes she must obey her husband.
20. ...equates submission with love.
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FINANCIAL AWARENESS
21. ...has no understanding of money.
22. ...relies entirely on her parents for expenses.
23. ...expects her partner to handle all finances.
24. ...has never budgeted or saved.
25. ...thinks money is dirty or unimportant.
26. ...equates luxury with love.
27. ...is drowning in debt without a plan.
28. ...wants marriage to escape working.
29. ...has no skills to support herself if needed.
30. ...thinks joint accounts will solve trust issues.
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HOUSEHOLD READINESS
31. ...can’t manage basic chores.
32. ...has never contributed to household work.
33. ...expects others to serve her.
34. ...has no idea what shared living means.
35. ...doesn’t clean up after herself.
36. ...believes homemaking is inferior.
37. ...has never taken care of a sick person.
38. ...can’t cook even one basic meal.
39. ...throws tantrums when something breaks.
40. ...believes domestic work is beneath her.
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RELATIONAL SKILLS
41. ...thinks love means ownership.
42. ...confuses possessiveness with care.
43. ...panics if her partner talks to others.
44. ...fears honest communication.
45. ...needs to win every argument.
46. ...keeps score in every fight.
47. ...thinks saying sorry makes her weak.
48. ...refuses to forgive or move on.
49. ...wants a partner but not partnership.
50. ...sees marriage as control, not connection.
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CULTURAL AND SPIRITUAL CONFUSIONS
51. ...is marrying to please her religion.
52. ...thinks marriage is a punishment for women.
53. ...wants to marry to gain social status.
54. ...fears god will be angry if she doesn’t marry.
55. ...believes divorce is a sin worse than suffering.
56. ...thinks her husband should be her guru.
57. ...is unwilling to live with another culture.
58. ...wants her partner to become like her.
59. ...believes rituals matter more than reality.
60. ...fears being judged if she stays unmarried.
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FAMILY-RELATED ISSUES
61. ...hates her in-laws before meeting them.
62. ...wants to cut off her own family without processing pain.
63. ...expects a husband to fight all her battles.
64. ...has unresolved trauma from childhood.
65. ...compares every man to her father.
66. ...can’t say no to her parents.
67. ...blames her family for everything.
68. ...wants to marry to escape family pressure.
69. ...needs constant praise from her elders.
70. ...is emotionally enmeshed with her parents.
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BODY AND HEALTH
71. ...hates her own body.
72. ...believes she must look perfect for love.
73. ...is ashamed of sex or intimacy.
74. ...thinks pleasure is sinful.
75. ...has no knowledge of reproductive health.
76. ...thinks her body belongs to her husband.
77. ...fears open conversations about sex.
78. ...uses pregnancy to trap love.
79. ...refuses to talk about menstrual or sexual needs.
80. ...has never explored what consent truly means.
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INDEPENDENCE AND IDENTITY
81. ...doesn’t know who she is without a title.
82. ...has never made a major life decision alone.
83. ...believes marriage gives her identity.
84. ...changes herself to be liked.
85. ...doesn’t pursue her own interests.
86. ...has no hobbies or passions outside romance.
87. ...needs to be needed to feel valuable.
88. ...can’t spend a weekend alone.
89. ...fears freedom.
90. ...has never lived outside her comfort zone.
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RED FLAGS IN ATTITUDE
91. ...wants to be rescued, not responsible.
92. ...views men as enemies or saviors.
93. ...thinks nagging is love.
94. ...enjoys drama more than peace.
95. ...turns every disagreement into blame.
96. ...gossips about her partner behind his back.
97. ...seeks pity instead of solutions.
98. ...uses tears to manipulate.
99. ...expects her husband to fix her life.
100. ...fears growth, change, or challenge.
101. ...wants the wedding, not the work of marriage.
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"A BOY IS NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE IF HE..."
(101 raw, brutally honest completions — basic language, culturally relevant)
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EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY
1. ...cannot handle rejection without rage.
2. ...gets angry when his ego is scratched.
3. ...thinks crying makes him weak.
4. ...believes love means control.
5. ...needs to win every argument.
6. ...uses silence as punishment.
7. ...thinks jealousy proves loyalty.
8. ...seeks constant admiration.
9. ...has zero emotional vocabulary.
10. ...confuses fear with respect.
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FINANCIAL UNREADINESS
11. ...has no idea where his money goes.
12. ...spends more than he earns.
13. ...believes money equals love.
14. ...depends entirely on his parents.
15. ...feels insulted if asked to plan a budget.
16. ...calls himself ‘investor’ but owns nothing.
17. ...thinks financial pressure makes him a man.
18. ...believes only he should handle money.
19. ...hides debt or lies about income.
20. ...thinks wife’s income threatens his masculinity.
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LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS
21. ...believes he is always right.
22. ...thinks “I’m like this only” is a personality.
23. ...blames everyone for his problems.
24. ...can’t take feedback.
25. ...is still chasing validation from father.
26. ...thinks masculinity means being feared.
27. ...believes women owe him attention.
28. ...can’t accept that he needs help.
29. ...thinks therapy is for weak people.
30. ...can’t stay alone without distraction.
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HOUSEHOLD USELESSNESS
31. ...waits for food to appear magically.
32. ...has never washed his own underwear.
33. ...calls cooking a ‘woman’s thing.’
34. ...believes cleaning is below his level.
35. ...expects a wife to replace his mother.
36. ...gets angry if asked to share chores.
37. ...has never paid a bill on time.
38. ...cannot live without a servant.
39. ...equates laziness with manhood.
40. ...is proud of being ‘pampered.’
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RELATIONSHIP ILLUSIONS
41. ...thinks love is possession.
42. ...gets insecure when his partner succeeds.
43. ...doesn't listen — only reacts.
44. ...sees apology as defeat.
45. ...compares his partner to his ex.
46. ...can't talk without raising voice.
47. ...treats his partner like a mother or maid.
48. ...thinks loyalty is a favor, not a default.
49. ...fakes respect in public but dominates in private.
50. ...sees marriage as a status upgrade.
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SEXUAL IMMATURENESS
51. ...learned sex from porn.
52. ...thinks only his pleasure matters.
53. ...has no idea what consent truly means.
54. ...gets offended if his partner says no.
55. ...believes sex is proof of love.
56. ...never talks about safety or hygiene.
57. ...thinks talking about periods is dirty.
58. ...assumes women must be always ‘ready.’
59. ...sees intimacy as entitlement.
60. ...is ashamed of asking questions.
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UNRESOLVED FAMILY ISSUES
61. ...fears disappointing his parents more than hurting his wife.
62. ...never questioned his upbringing.
63. ...uses his mother to guilt his partner.
64. ...competes with his father instead of healing.
65. ...needs to win approval from elders by controlling his wife.
66. ...never defends his partner from family insults.
67. ...can’t make his own decisions.
68. ...lets relatives interfere in every fight.
69. ...uses tradition to dominate.
70. ...believes wife should “adjust like mom did.”
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SOCIAL BLINDNESS
71. ...mocks women’s pain as exaggeration.
72. ...laughs at rape jokes.
73. ...thinks feminism is anti-men.
74. ...judges women by clothes.
75. ...believes in ‘alpha male’ nonsense.
76. ...talks about equality but doesn’t practice it.
77. ...believes dowry is “gift.”
78. ...thinks his caste or job gives him value.
79. ...compares his wife to his friends’ wives.
80. ...gets insecure if a woman says no.
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EGOISTIC TRAITS
81. ...wants to be obeyed, not understood.
82. ...gets jealous if his partner gets attention.
83. ...calls his wife “my property.”
84. ...believes loudness means power.
85. ...takes offense at the smallest things.
86. ...can’t say “I was wrong.”
87. ...thinks serving tea will ruin his image.
88. ...wants to be praised for doing the bare minimum.
89. ...thinks compromise is only the woman’s job.
90. ...believes dominance is love.
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PERSONAL GROWTH GAPS
91. ...never reads anything non-fiction.
92. ...has no hobbies beyond scrolling.
93. ...learns only to impress others.
94. ...believes growth stops after marriage.
95. ...can’t say no to friends’ bad influence.
96. ...fears mature women.
97. ...seeks a partner to raise him.
98. ...has zero curiosity about emotions.
99. ...hides pain behind sarcasm.
100. ...believes becoming a husband is enough.
101. ...doesn’t know what it means to be a man — just imitates others.
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