LIFELONG TRAPS

This essay explores how, in India, every phase of life—from school and job to marriage, spirituality, health, and even alternative lifestyles—becomes a trap disguised as freedom. Each attempt to escape stress leads to a new system, routine, or identity being sold back in another form—whether it's millet diets, mud houses, natural farming, or healing workshops. Even free or donation-based paths end up building subtle forms of control. Real peace comes not from switching paths, but from stepping out of the need to perform, prove, or purchase a better life.

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PROLOGUE: YOU NEVER REALLY ESCAPE

In India, most people do not feel trapped suddenly.

It starts slow.

You grow up in a house where everything is planned for you—

what to eat, when to study, who to marry, what job to take, and even how to think.

As you grow older, you start feeling suffocated.

You think:

"This cannot be life."

You want to run away from the stress, expectations, deadlines, and pressure.

You want peace.

You want to be free.

But every time you try to escape, something else catches you.

A different voice, a new trend, an old emotion, or some new dream.

That’s the truth:

You don’t escape life. You just change the cage.

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PART 1: THE TRAPS BEGIN EARLY

In most Indian families, the trap begins as soon as you’re born.

Your future is discussed at birth.

Your marks decide your worth.

Your achievements become your personality.

You're not allowed to fail.

You're not allowed to rest.

You're not allowed to question elders.

If you're obedient, you're praised.

If you're silent, you're called good.

If you're tired, you're told to work harder.

By the time you're 15, you're not a child.

You're already a product being shaped for the marriage market or job market.

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PART 2: ESCAPE PLAN 1 – CAREER SUCCESS

So you think:

“If I just get a good job and earn well, I’ll be free.”

You work hard. You sacrifice your hobbies. You take loans.

You finally get that job.

Now the trap changes form.

You get addicted to salary.

You become scared to take risks.

You live for weekends.

Your health begins to break.

And you keep going because you’re told:

"This is how life works."

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PART 3: ESCAPE PLAN 2 – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

When you get tired of work, people tell you to settle down.

You marry.

Now your time, energy, and attention are not yours anymore.

You take care of children, parents, responsibilities, relatives, school fees, insurance, festivals, and rituals.

You give and give—without asking if this is what you wanted.

And when you feel stuck, people say:

"This is your duty. Everyone goes through this."

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PART 4: ESCAPE PLAN 3 – SPIRITUALITY AND TRADITION

When money and marriage don’t bring peace, you turn to God or guru.

You start going to temples, satsangs, kirtans, motivational talks, or spiritual retreats.

At first, it helps.

But soon, that too becomes routine:

You chant what you're told.

You donate where you're told.

You believe without thinking.

Sometimes, religion or spirituality becomes another trap—

not because it's false, but because it's followed without understanding.

You’re not set free.

You’re just managed differently.

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PART 5: ESCAPE PLAN 4 – LIFESTYLE CHANGE

Next, you hear of someone quitting their job and moving to a village.

Or someone who reversed diabetes with millets.

Or someone whose child is learning without school.

And you think:

"Maybe this is the way out."

You try:

Natural farming

Unschooling

Castor oil packs

Cow dung floors

Solar panels

Copper bottles

Cloth pads

Homemade soaps

Desi cows

Yoga

Zero waste

But even here, slowly, another trap forms.

People start comparing:

“Your compost isn’t real.”

“You used polished rice?”

“This isn’t true yoga.”

“You bought ghee from a shop?”

What began as freedom becomes another pressure.

You still feel anxious.

You still feel watched.

And now you spend even more—on “natural” products and “ancient” solutions.

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PART 6: ESCAPE PLAN 5 – DIGITAL WORLD

You get fed up and turn to your phone.

You scroll reels of:

Minimalist kitchens

Organic garden tours

Inspirational farmers

Slow living families

Conscious parenting

But slowly, it all becomes just another movie.

You don't live it.

You just watch it.

You try to copy some of it—but it’s hard.

You don’t have the money, the land, the support, or the time.

So you feel guilty again.

You feel you’re not doing enough.

Now you’re trapped inside a screen of dreams.

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PART 7: ESCAPE PLAN 6 – START YOUR OWN THING

So you decide: "I’ll do something of my own. My rules. My work."

You start:

A millet café

A wellness Instagram page

A castor oil healing guide

A permaculture weekend workshop

A parenting community

But slowly, that too becomes a business.

You worry about followers, reviews, income, and engagement.

You begin selling ideas instead of living them.

You build a brand.

And now you are the product.

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PART 8: HOW EVEN FREE THINGS ARE USED TO TRAP YOU

Today, nothing is truly free.

Even donation-based workshops, free webinars, spiritual satsangs, and unschooling circles are used to build influence.

They don’t ask for money at first.

They ask for your attention, your loyalty, your belief.

Later they’ll offer books, products, courses, mentorship, or retreats.

You're told:

"We're just sharing knowledge."

But slowly, it becomes: "Support us by buying this."

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PART 9: THE SILENT TRAPS THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

Some traps don’t need products or workshops.

They are quiet, daily, and cultural:

Wanting to be liked by everyone

Trying to make parents proud

Living for your child’s achievements

Hiding emotions to appear “strong”

Waiting for praise

Being unable to say “No”

Constantly seeking permission

These traps stay in your head, not in the world.

Even if you leave the city, leave the job, change your diet—

these still follow you.

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PART 10: WHAT DOES REAL FREEDOM LOOK LIKE?

Real freedom doesn’t look like a poster.

It is quiet.

You cook simple food and don’t explain it to anyone.

You say no without guilt.

You listen to your own body.

You ask: “Do I really need this?” before buying anything.

You do something useful—even if no one claps.

You stop trying to be impressive.

You allow others to live their life without trying to change them.

You don’t need to escape to a forest or join a trend.

You just need to see how many things are using you—and stop feeding them.

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EPILOGUE: LIFE HAS TRAPS. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO WALK INTO ALL OF THEM

No one can escape all systems.

Not in India. Not anywhere.

But you can stop walking blindly into every shiny offer.

You can stop confusing busyness with meaning.

You can stop running from one idea to another.

Life is full of traps.

But some people learn to walk slowly and not fall in every one.

Let them sell.

Let them speak.

You live quietly.

And if you fall again, get up again—this time, a little more aware.

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“EVERYTHING LOOKS DIFFERENT BUT FEELS THE SAME”

A slow-burn Bukowski-style poem about the invisible traps of Indian life

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they told me study hard

so i did.

woke up at 5, drank bournvita, chased ranks, chased roll numbers.

mugged things i never believed

wrote answers i never understood

and they clapped when i got 93.

but no one told me what to do

with my loneliness at 11 pm

or my gas at 22

or my dead smile at 29.

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then they told me get a job

so i did.

polished shoes, wore tie, bowed head

sweated in interviews

learned to say “yes sir” without blinking

became “resource” for a company

that celebrated me on appraisal day

and forgot me when i fell sick.

they told me this is success.

but i couldn’t feel my back

my dreams stopped visiting

and my time belonged to a screen.

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then they said: marry.

find a girl with good values.

arranged it on biodata

with height, salary, and fair skin checked.

got married in a big hall

fed 1,200 people who won’t even remember the rasam.

they said: now you’re settled.

but no one asked if i could breathe.

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then came the baby.

with the baby came the expenses,

the school forms,

the comparisons,

the coaching classes,

the birthday party budgets.

i started earning more.

but living less.

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i thought: maybe i need peace.

so i started chanting.

got a guru.

went for satsangs.

sat in silence.

donated what i could.

folded my hands a lot.

but even there—there was structure.

one guru. many followers.

one truth. many sellers.

i was told to surrender.

but i had already surrendered to too many things.

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then came health.

i gave up wheat.

then rice.

then sugar.

then salt.

then oil.

then milk.

then curd.

then my joy.

i bought pink salt, black jeera, horse gram, cold-pressed oil, virgin ghee, red banana, copper bottles, seed cycling kits, fermented kanji, sattvic smoothies, and 9-grain laddus.

everything had to be “local, seasonal, ancient, sacred.”

but nothing tasted like peace.

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then came lifestyle.

i gave up flats.

dreamt of mud houses.

visited farms.

bought a plot.

attended permaculture workshops.

sat on the floor.

washed dishes with ash.

read labels.

made soap.

wore cotton.

drank turmeric water at 6 am.

it felt good.

until someone said,

“you’re using the wrong kind of jaggery.”

and someone else said,

“you’re not really natural.”

and someone else said,

“that’s not a real desi cow.”

and i realised—

i had built a new cage

with eco-friendly material.

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then came content.

i tried to share my journey.

opened a page.

wrote blogs.

got likes.

got follows.

became “authentic”.

but now i was scared to be human.

to fall sick.

to feel angry.

to eat something from Swiggy.

because i had followers

who expected me to be “real”.

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then i stopped.

sat down.

no yoga.

no millet.

no journaling.

no sunbathing.

no god.

no guilt.

just sat there

with my cracked feet and rotting tomatoes.

and it was the first time i felt

light.

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they said you must choose a path.

i say all paths are being sold.

some are in malls.

some are in farms.

some wear suits.

some wear khadi.

but if someone tells you

to pay

to breathe

to rest

to live slowly—

walk away.

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i don’t need organic soap

to feel clean.

i don’t need a guru

to hear silence.

i don’t need to heal

to exist.

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they sold me dreams

in school uniforms

in marriage halls

in ashrams

in farmer’s markets

in webinars

in WhatsApp groups.

i bought all of it.

and now

i sit quietly

not because i’m wise

but because

i’m done buying.

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