Family Starts Where TV Ends - here is how TV destroyed your family
- Madhukar Dama
- Apr 14
- 5 min read
It told you what a wife should tolerate, what a son must achieve, how a mother should sacrifice, when a daughter must marry, what success looks like, and who deserves your respect.
It made your living room a stage, your family a script, and your relationships a melodrama.
You didn't build expectations — you inherited them from daily soaps.
Television didn’t entertain.
It indoctrinated.
It made you fear silence.
It replaced real joy with programmed excitement.
You weren’t wasting time.
You were erasing your originality.
Commercial by commercial.
Episode by episode.
For decades.
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Here is a huge list of expectations that Indian families have developed from each other due to decades of watching television — especially daily soaps, movies, ads, and reality shows. These expectations are not always rooted in reality, but stem from dramatized, idealized, or toxic portrayals of relationships in TV content:
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EXPECTATIONS FROM WIVES (Due to TV)
1. Always look presentable, even at home.
2. Wake up before everyone, preferably after applying makeup.
3. Cook three fresh, elaborate meals daily — without complaint.
4. Respect the husband no matter how wrong he is.
5. Sacrifice your dreams for his career or in-laws' comfort.
6. Manage all household tensions with a smile.
7. Never question in-laws; accept blame quietly.
8. Never rest; multitask endlessly.
9. Keep family secrets hidden, even if it causes personal suffering.
10. Be the ‘ideal bahu’ — religious, obedient, submissive.
11. Always forgive the husband — even infidelity, abuse, or betrayal.
12. Make all festivals grand and joyous, no matter your health or financial condition.
13. Treat guests like gods, even at personal cost.
14. Avoid showing anger, disappointment, or fatigue.
15. Be the emotional caretaker of every single person at home.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM HUSBANDS (Due to TV)
16. Be the silent, brooding provider.
17. Never cry or share vulnerability.
18. Handle all financial burdens — regardless of stress.
19. Be the final authority in all decisions.
20. Surprise wife with gifts and romance (only on special occasions).
21. Protect the family like a Bollywood hero.
22. Never complain about your mental health.
23. Maintain physical fitness, masculinity, and dominance.
24. Ignore your own parents if wife demands it — or vice versa.
25. Work late but still be energetic for family rituals.
26. Control your wife subtly, without appearing abusive.
27. Have no personal hobbies beyond work and family.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM MOTHERS (Due to TV)
28. Treat sons as gods and daughters-in-law as threats.
29. Spy on daughter-in-law’s behavior 24x7.
30. Pray for family’s welfare constantly.
31. Sacrifice own health, peace, and savings for children.
32. Show unconditional love but always keep control.
33. Never express your regrets or dreams.
34. Meddle in children's marriage and parenting decisions.
35. Forgive abusive sons; suspect independent daughters.
36. Maintain harmony even in toxic situations.
37. Become the emotional anchor of everyone’s life.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM FATHERS (Due to TV)
38. Be silent, respectable, and feared.
39. Provide money but don't involve in emotional matters.
40. Never cry, even in tragedy.
41. Be generous at weddings, birthdays, and emergencies.
42. Keep outdated values alive through strict rules.
43. Never retire — your job is to serve till death.
44. Don't express love — show it through sacrifice.
45. Trust your sons blindly, doubt your daughters.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW (Due to TV)
46. Leave your parents after marriage.
47. Treat in-laws as parents even if they abuse you.
48. Never speak up or raise your voice.
49. Do all household chores flawlessly.
50. Sacrifice career, rest, and personal life for “ghar ki izzat.”
51. Produce children quickly.
52. Never complain about husband's attitude.
53. Compete silently with the elder or younger bahu.
54. Be more spiritual than your own soul.
55. Accept any insult if it's from elders.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM DAUGHTERS (Due to TV)
56. Be bubbly, obedient, emotional, and self-sacrificing.
57. Never challenge family traditions.
58. Marry only when parents say so.
59. Keep ties with toxic family even after marriage.
60. Don’t seek inheritance; that’s for sons.
61. Don't drink, smoke, or roam freely.
62. Dress modestly or you’re shaming the family.
63. Be the bridge during family conflicts.
64. Be responsible for brothers' success.
65. Never put your happiness above anyone else’s.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM SONS (Due to TV)
66. Be the family’s financial savior.
67. Never cry or admit failure.
68. Take revenge if someone insults the family.
69. Prioritize mother’s happiness above wife’s.
70. Obey elders even when they’re wrong.
71. Don't do housework — that's for women.
72. Earn more than all cousins and friends.
73. Be emotionally unavailable, but protective.
74. Marry the girl parents choose.
75. Carry the "family name" like a torch.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM SIBLINGS (Due to TV)
76. Sacrifice dreams for the elder brother or sister.
77. Be each other’s secret-keepers and life problem solvers.
78. Compete subtly in studies, job, marriage, parenting.
79. Always reunite for emotional melodrama.
80. Share everything — even love interests!
81. Younger siblings must be protected forever.
82. Elder siblings must act like second parents.
83. Must be available in every crisis — like a TV scene.
84. Suppress real feelings to avoid “family shame.”
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EXPECTATIONS FROM GRANDPARENTS (Due to TV)
85. Be saints who quote scriptures and solve problems.
86. Be non-judgmental, loving, wise, and endlessly patient.
87. Have no personal needs.
88. Mediate every family conflict like a spiritual guru.
89. Be happy with just being around grandchildren.
90. Provide endless stories, remedies, and blessings.
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EXPECTATIONS FROM CHILDREN (Due to TV)
91. Excel in everything — studies, dance, drama, devotion.
92. Never back-answer.
93. Win medals to glorify parents.
94. Sacrifice childhood for "family reputation."
95. Understand adult tensions and behave maturely.
96. Be loyal to family even when abused.
97. Act like cute emotional fools in every festival.
98. Never question elders — even on wrong things.
99. Be patriotic, obedient, and never rebellious.
100. Solve their parents’ emotional issues like therapists.
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GENERAL FAMILY EXPECTATIONS FUELED BY TV
101. The “ideal family” must always stay united — no matter how toxic.
102. Joint family > Nuclear family.
103. Secrets must exist to make life dramatic.
104. Every family has a villain — you must find yours.
105. Families must have a crisis to remain emotionally close.
106. If you're too happy, a tragedy must follow.
107. Only grand weddings, not small court marriages.
108. Forgiveness is mandatory — justice is optional.
109. No real therapy — only temple visits.
110. Everyone must speak in high drama tone during fights.
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THE WAY OUT:
1. Switch off the TV.
Not to pause it.
To end the trance.
2. Face the silence.
It will feel awkward.
Unbearable even.
Like withdrawal from a drug.
That’s how you know it was addiction.
3. Observe your family.
Without background music.
Without laugh tracks.
Without moral-of-the-day filters.
Just raw, imperfect, real people.
4. Destroy the expectations.
They were never yours.
They were installed.
Rip them out, one by one.
5. Let awkwardness return.
Let children fumble.
Let elders admit confusion.
Let relationships breathe without instant conclusions.
6. Read. Garden. Walk. Talk. Stare. Rest.
Not to be productive.
But to feel alive again.
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LIFE AFTER TELEVISION:
At first, it feels empty.
Like standing in a room where noise used to live.
Then something magical happens.
You hear… yourself.
You feel things without narration.
You start recognizing manipulation.
You stop performing.
You become human again.
Families stop being "serials" and start becoming circles.
Meals become conversations.
Festivals become simpler.
Pain becomes visible.
Healing becomes possible.
Children stop mimicking cartoons.
Adults stop expecting movie endings.
Life slows down.
Soul speeds up.
And for the first time,
You live a life that is not sponsored by Dettol, Kellogg’s, or Tata Sky.
