BEING GOOD IS A DISEASE

The essay “Being Good Is a Disease” exposes how constant politeness, over-adjusting, and approval-seeking—though praised by society—gradually destroy a person’s health. Trained from childhood to avoid conflict and always be “nice,” many people suppress emotions, neglect their needs, and sacrifice their truth to be accepted, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, hormonal issues, heart problems, and emotional numbness. The essay argues that this so-called goodness is not virtue but a harmful condition driven by fear and guilt, and the only cure is honest self-respect, clear boundaries, and the courage to stop being “good” at the cost of your own body and life.

How approval-seeking, over-giving, and fake kindness are destroying your health

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INTRODUCTION: THE DISEASE NO ONE DIAGNOSES

You’re always polite.

You never raise your voice.

You forgive again and again.

You avoid conflict.

You help everyone.

You’re “so nice.”

And that’s exactly why you’re sick.

Anxiety.

Blood pressure.

Heart attack.

Insomnia.

Thyroid.

Gut issues.

Infertility.

Fatigue.

And the worst one — emotional numbness.

Nobody tells you this, but you’ve been infected for years.

Being good is not a strength.

It’s a disease.

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LAYER 1: HOW THE DISEASE SPREADS

It starts in childhood.

They told you to behave.

To be obedient.

To always adjust.

To not talk back.

To respect elders — even when they’re wrong.

To say sorry even when it’s not your fault.

To keep the family peace.

They gave you rewards for silence.

Praise for being easy.

Love only when you were useful.

So you learned to swallow your truth.

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LAYER 2: EARLY SYMPTOMS — UNSEEN BUT REAL

Before the disease shows up in your reports,

it shows up in your everyday life:

You smile when you’re angry

You agree just to avoid arguments

You help people who don’t deserve it

You feel guilty for resting

You say sorry even when it’s not your fault

You can’t say “no”

You fear disappointing people

You feel exhausted, but can’t stop

It looks like kindness.

But it’s slow self-destruction.

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LAYER 3: THE BODY STARTS BREAKING

When you suppress your truth long enough, the body reacts:

Headaches from overthinking

Throat issues from unspoken words

Stomach problems from swallowed emotions

Back pain from carrying everyone’s burden

Thyroid imbalance from voiceless living

High BP from suppressed anger

Diabetes from chronic stress

Infertility from emotional collapse

Heart attack from decades of overgiving

You didn’t “fall sick.”

You’ve been dying slowly for years — one act of “goodness” at a time.

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LAYER 4: SOCIETY PRAISES YOUR ILLNESS

You’re the one who never says no.

The one who adjusts.

The one who always shows up.

You’re the ideal family member.

The helpful neighbour.

The always-available worker.

The peacemaker.

But when you fall —

they say: “Oh, they were too sensitive.”

Or worse: “They never complained. Such a good soul.”

They will remember your kindness.

At your funeral.

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LAYER 5: WHY “BEING GOOD” IS A LIE

They told you:

> Be kind, and people will love you.

Be helpful, and people will be there for you.

Be respectful, and people will respect you.

But here’s what really happens:

You become a dumping ground.

You attract users.

You lose your real voice.

You forget your own needs.

You teach others that your time, energy, and body don’t matter.

This is not goodness.

It’s a disease of people-pleasing.

A result of approval addiction.

A form of trained helplessness.

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LAYER 6: EVERY DISEASE HAS A ROOT CAUSE

The root cause of this disease is fear.

Fear of rejection

Fear of disapproval

Fear of looking selfish

Fear of being alone

Fear of guilt

Fear of conflict

So you choose the easier pain — the one where you suffer quietly.

Because that way, nobody else is upset.

Except your own body.

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LAYER 7: KINDNESS IS NOT THE CURE

Real kindness does not harm you.

It does not ask you to:

Tolerate abuse

Lie for peace

Stay where you’re not respected

Destroy your body to be liked

Smile through breakdowns

Real kindness starts with you.

It means saying:

> “No.”

“I’m not okay.”

“This hurts me.”

“I don’t agree.”

“I need space.”

“I matter too.”

Anything less than that is not goodness — it’s disease.

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LAYER 8: CURE STARTS WITH BRUTAL HONESTY

You don’t need medicine.

You need the courage to:

Disappoint people

Speak your truth

Rest without guilt

Stop saving everyone

Say yes only when you mean it

Say no without explanation

You will lose people.

But you’ll gain yourself.

And slowly — the symptoms will go.

The body will calm down.

The anxiety will drop.

The breathing will deepen.

And you will begin to feel — truly alive — maybe for the first time in decades.

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EPILOGUE: DON’T DIE TO BE LIKED

You were not born to be useful.

You were not born to be praised.

You were not born to serve everyone until your heart fails.

You were born to live.

To be real.

To be whole.

Being good is a disease.

But honesty is the cure.

Don’t wait for your body to scream before you choose yourself.

Because by then — it might be too late.

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