BABY’S FOURTH POISON: ARTIFICIAL TOUCH AND LACK OF HUMAN CONTACT
- Madhukar Dama
- 1 hour ago
- 6 min read
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INTRODUCTION
After sugar, smartphones, and indoor life, the fourth major damage to babies today is lack of natural human contact and emotional touch.
Many babies today are raised with expensive gear, routines, and gadgets—but very little warm, direct, responsive, human interaction. They are fed, bathed, and managed. But not held enough. Not carried enough. Not emotionally met.
This type of invisible neglect causes long-lasting problems in brain development, emotional stability, bonding, and personality.
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1. TOUCH BUILDS THE BRAIN
The baby’s brain doesn’t grow just with food and sleep. It grows with touch, eye contact, skin warmth, and emotional response.
Every time a baby is held warmly, the brain releases oxytocin, serotonin, and growth hormones. These help:
Build emotional security
Regulate sleep and appetite
Support brain wiring
Touch also activates the vagus nerve, which controls digestion, heart rate, and emotional calm. It helps regulate the HPA axis, which controls the body's stress response.
When this doesn’t happen often enough:
The brain stays underdeveloped in emotional areas
The baby becomes irritable or withdrawn
Long-term anxiety or social issues appear
The body stores tension and stress hormones
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2. WHEN TOUCH IS MISSING
The modern baby may have:
Plastic rattles, silicone teethers
Rockers and swings
Foam play mats
Bottle feeders
Cribs and bouncers
TV shows and recorded rhymes
But what is often missing:
Skin-to-skin cuddling
Breastfeeding at will
Hand-holding
Co-sleeping with parents or siblings
Responding with eye contact, softness, and patience
This creates a child who looks okay on the outside, but inside feels disconnected.
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3. HOW THIS DAMAGE HAPPENS SILENTLY
Parents don’t neglect out of cruelty. But due to:
Long working hours
Fatigue or postpartum stress
Advice to “not spoil the baby”
Too much focus on independence
Use of daycare or caretakers who just manage, not bond
Fear of infection or social judgment
Modern advice from hospitals or baby books often tells parents:
Not to sleep with the baby
Not to carry too much
Not to breastfeed on demand
Marketing of swings, bottle warmers, sleep trainers, and baby gadgets adds to the belief that machines can replace parents.
But the baby doesn’t understand advice. The baby only knows touch or no touch.
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4. EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL EFFECTS
A. Brain and Hormone Effects:
Low oxytocin levels
Poor bonding
Weaker stress regulation
Smaller hippocampus (affects memory and learning)
B. Emotional Effects:
Fear of abandonment
Excessive clinginess or complete withdrawal
Flat expressions
Poor ability to enjoy play or smile
C. Physical Effects:
Poor appetite
Irregular sleep
Delayed milestones
Tactile defensiveness (dislike being touched or hugged later)
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5. THE DAYCARE AND MAID REALITY
In many Indian homes, babies are raised by:
Housemaids
Daycare workers
Relatives who manage more than bond
These caretakers may:
Feed, bathe, and dress the baby
But lack time, emotional skill, or connection
The baby survives—but doesn’t feel seen, soothed, or mirrored. Later emotional issues arise without obvious reasons.
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6. MODERN GEAR VS HUMAN TOUCH
What replaces touch today:
Bottle feeders instead of breastfeeding
Rocking chairs instead of parent’s shoulder
Crib mobiles instead of mother’s voice
Daycare or maids instead of grandparents
Video calls instead of real hugs
Babies become used to being managed. But not deeply loved through the body.
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7. SIGNS A BABY NEEDS MORE TOUCH
Doesn’t reach out when you come close
Doesn’t calm down when held
Doesn’t smile often
Stiffness or over-relaxation in body
Doesn’t show much expression or excitement
Seems hungry but doesn’t eat well
Sleeps poorly even if tired
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8. LONG-TERM CONSEQUENCES
Children raised with low emotional contact may grow into:
Adults who can’t trust easily
Struggle with friendships or closeness
Feel lonely in groups
Depend on screens or stimulation to feel okay
Show early signs of depression or anxiety
This begins not in teenage. It begins in infancy. With missing touch.
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9. WHAT YOU CAN DO
No need for extra money or classes. Just consistent human warmth:
Hold your baby often without rushing
Carry them during chores
Massage slowly with attention and love
Co-sleep with safe support
Look into their eyes while feeding or talking
Let them lie on your bare chest or skin
Talk, sing, hum gently while cuddling
Avoid screens while holding or feeding them
If others are raising your baby (maids, daycare):
Make sure the baby is not just fed and cleaned, but also comforted and emotionally seen
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10. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE
If your baby has already spent time without much emotional touch, begin now:
Increase holding and carrying
Use gentle eye contact
Respond quickly to cries
Reduce mechanical substitutes (rockers, swings)
Take time to observe and respond warmly
Babies forgive fast. The earlier you start, the more healing can happen.
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EPILOGUE
Touch is not optional. It is as important as food. Without touch, babies survive but do not thrive.
In our modern rush to manage time, money, work, and social image, we often outsource or delay the one thing the baby needs most: a warm, safe, human presence.
This poison is not visible like sugar, or loud like screens. It is silent. But it builds lifelong emptiness.
To undo this, you don’t need therapy. You need to hold your baby—fully, softly, often.
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REFERENCES
1. Bowlby J. Attachment and Loss. (1969)
2. Harlow HF. The Nature of Love. (1958)
3. Feldman R. (2007). Parent-infant synchrony and the development of empathy. Curr Dir Psychol Sci.
4. Perry BD. (2002). What childhood neglect tells us about nature and nurture. Brain and Mind.
5. Narvaez D et al. (2013). The evolved developmental niche and child outcomes. J Moral Educ.
6. UNICEF India. Care for child development: Guiding framework. (2019)
7. Indian Pediatrics. Co-sleeping, breastfeeding and emotional growth in infants. (2020)
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HE WAS FED, BUT NEVER HELD
A slow-burn about the unloved touch
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he had the best cradle.
it could rock itself.
it played lullabies.
it came with a remote.
but no hands.
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he had the best bottles.
temperature-controlled.
sterile.
imported.
but the breast
was locked away
in fear of “spoiling” him.
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he had five blankets
but no chest to sleep on.
he had rubber teethers
but no fingers to chew.
he had recorded rhymes
but no one to sing.
he had a nanny,
but not a grandmother.
he had a schedule,
but not a mother
who stopped everything
to just hold him
because he whimpered.
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they loved him.
they said so.
they bought everything.
but no one sat on the floor
for an hour
with him on their lap
doing nothing.
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when he cried,
he was rocked by a battery.
when he smiled,
no one noticed.
they were busy
setting up the camera.
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his face was dry.
his eyes looked long
but didn’t find a face that responded.
his shoulders stayed tense.
his feet curled.
his belly stayed tight.
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he had a room
painted soft yellow.
with soft animals on the walls.
and soft toys in his crib.
but no arms around his spine.
no heartbeat against his ear.
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he slept in silence.
but woke up with fear.
he looked well-fed.
but always hungry.
they kept increasing his feed.
but what he needed
was warmth.
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he wasn’t fussy.
he was grieving.
he wasn’t spoiled.
he was searching.
he wasn’t antisocial.
he was unfelt.
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he was carried like a package.
bathed like a task.
fed like a job.
changed like a duty.
but never
seen.
never mirrored.
never softened.
never absorbed.
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his body grew.
but his core
stayed hollow.
his nervous system
never learned
what safety feels like.
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he didn’t smile much.
he didn’t make eye contact.
he didn’t babble.
he didn’t crawl to anyone.
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when he was two,
they said he was delayed.
but it began long ago.
with one tiny choice
after another
to replace love
with devices.
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and when he was five,
they asked why he was
so shy,
so angry,
so cold,
so needy.
no one remembered
the nights he cried,
but no one picked him up
because the doctor said
he should learn to self-soothe.
he did.
by switching off.
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he didn’t hate people.
he just never trusted
they’d be there
fully.
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and he grew up
learning how to cope
without needing anyone.
strong on the outside.
starved on the inside.
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we taught him independence
before safety.
routine before bonding.
performance before presence.
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he was fed,
clothed,
bathed,
and educated.
but never fully
held.
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