WIFE? NO THANKS. MARRIAGE? YES PLEASE!
- Madhukar Dama
- 4 hours ago
- 7 min read
A Satirical Essay on Selective Empowerment
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WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
Modern marriages are full of contradictions. One of the strangest is this:
You reject the traditional wife role but cling tightly to marriage.
You don’t want the expectations.
You don’t want the duties.
But you want the ring, the ceremony, the status, the financial cushion, and a man to blame when things go wrong.
Example 1:
Divya posts reels on “liberation of women from marriage cages” — but lives rent-free in a 3BHK gifted by her in-laws. She refuses to help with chores, but demands regular vacations, jewellery, and emotional validation from her husband who now sleeps in the guest room.
Example 2:
Smita preaches “I’m not anyone’s maid” — yet expects her husband to bring home income, pick up groceries, listen to her rants, and plan every weekend outing. Her role? To approve or cancel it with a frown.
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ROOT CAUSES
This isn't always conscious manipulation. Often, it’s the result of messy cross-breeding of half-baked feminism, patriarchal comfort, and capitalist consumerism. The result? A confused individual who wants zero sacrifice and full entitlement.
Example 1:
Rashmi read a few feminist quotes on Instagram, watched a Netflix documentary, and now believes cooking is oppression — but also thinks her husband’s refusal to buy her an iPhone is financial abuse.
Example 2:
Anjali’s parents raised her with a single goal: “Get a good husband.” Now married, she’s depressed because she doesn’t feel “free.” But if you suggest divorce, she gasps: “How will I survive alone?”
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CONSEQUENCES
When you want the safety of marriage without the soul of it, everything collapses. Marriages rot in mutual resentment. Children grow up neglected. In-laws are used like servants. Husbands are ATM machines with tear-absorption features.
Example 1:
Maya tells her friends: “I’m a feminist queen.” But at home, her child is with a nanny 10 hours a day while she attends spiritual retreats. Her husband is suicidal, overworked, and sleeps in his car some nights.
Example 2:
Sheela boasts she doesn’t even know how to use a mop. “Why should I?” she says. Her elderly in-laws live in the backroom like prisoners while she binge-watches Korean dramas and makes fun of her husband’s job.
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WHAT THIS IS NOT
Let’s be clear:
This isn’t feminism.
This isn’t rebellion.
This isn’t tradition.
This is hypocrisy with entitlement, convenience dressed as identity.
Example 1:
A true feminist shares responsibilities and earns freedom through mutual respect. She chooses what to do and owns her decisions. She doesn’t cancel responsibility and blame others for the vacuum it creates.
Example 2:
A genuinely liberated woman would rather walk out of marriage than rot inside it demanding freebies. This new type? She calls herself empowered but files for alimony from the man she said she doesn’t need.
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WHAT IT REVEALS
This reveals the deep rot in both culture and modern ideology. Many people no longer want to take on any responsibility, yet crave every reward. They want partners, but not partnership. They want commitment, but not contribution. They want rights, but not roles.
Example 1:
Shraddha once said, “I’m not meant for marriage.” But she got married anyway, because she didn’t want to be the only unmarried woman at her cousin’s wedding. Five years later, her husband has depression, and she’s an Instagram coach on “balance.”
Example 2:
In a therapy session, a wife screamed, “I want a real man who’ll support me no matter what!” The husband calmly asked, “Will you do the same?” She replied, “That’s not my job.”
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CONCLUSION:
This is not evolution.
This is not liberation.
This is a selective scam where a person wants all the insurance policies of old marriage, but none of the duties.
The real wife role is not about submission — it’s about contribution.
The real husband role isn’t about slavery — it’s about support.
But when one partner plays queen and the other plays clown, what you get isn’t a marriage — it’s a circus.
And no child deserves to grow up in a circus.
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HEALING DIALOGUE
Title: “WE CANNOT ALL BE GODS IN THE SAME HOUSE”
A natural setting. A humble mud house under a mango tree. Madhukar, the hermit-healer, sits with a middle-class urban couple — Anita and Rohit — and their two children. Anita has embraced an ideology of empowerment that turned into entitlement. Rohit, fed up, became passive and resentful. The children are confused and distant. They have come not to seek divorce — but to understand what broke them.
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PART ONE: THE BURDEN OF BECOMING EVERYTHING
Anita:
I did what every woman was told. Get educated. Be independent. Don’t be anyone’s slave. I followed all of that.
But now… I’m tired.
Why am I so angry all the time, Madhukar? Why do I hate Rohit even when he hasn’t done anything?
Madhukar:
Because you were promised godhood in the name of empowerment.
But empowerment without responsibility is just theatre.
You wanted to rise — but didn’t want to lift anything.
Anita (tearing up):
So you mean I should go back to being a maid? A housewife?
Madhukar:
No.
But neither should you become a queen who pays for nothing, does nothing, owns everything.
Empowerment is not “freedom from roles.”
It’s “choosing your role fully, with clarity and maturity.”
You don’t need to go back.
But you do need to go deeper.
Rohit (finally speaking):
I gave up. I just became a silent mule.
Everything I said was ‘patriarchy’.
Every suggestion was ‘controlling’.
I’m not even sure what being a man means anymore.
Madhukar:
Yes. That’s the second lie.
While women were told they should never submit —
Men were told they should never object.
Both lost truth.
Both became exhausted.
Both turned love into scorekeeping.
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PART TWO: THE DISEASE OF ROLELESSNESS
Anita:
I stopped cooking because it felt like oppression.
I refused to serve because it felt like slavery.
But now I see…
Nobody serves anyone in this house.
Even the children are raising themselves.
Madhukar:
Exactly.
In nature, every being has a role.
A bee gathers. A mother feeds. A tree shades.
No one asks, “Why me?”
But you were told you can be anything — without being anything for others.
So your empowerment became emptiness.
Your rights became weapons.
Your identity became rejection.
Rohit:
And I stayed silent. I thought maybe time would fix it.
But years passed. We became strangers.
Madhukar:
Time never heals when ego is louder than truth.
Your silence wasn’t peace. It was fear of losing the illusion.
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PART THREE: HEALING ROLES, NOT RETURNING TO THE PAST
Anita:
So what should I do now? Start cooking every day? Apologize to everyone?
Madhukar:
No.
First, sit with your children every morning. Ask nothing. Just be.
Then, clean one corner of the house each day. Not because it's your duty — but because it’s your temple.
Later, cook a meal on Sunday with joy. Tell them it’s not gendered — it’s sacred.
And as for Rohit…
Madhukar (turning to Rohit):
You must stop being invisible.
Lead with clarity. Speak with love.
Stop trying to escape conflict. It has already cost you your soul.
Build again — but not like before. This time, ask her what role she chooses.
And accept your own.
Anita (softly):
I want to stop fighting. I want to learn how to give… without feeling small.
I want my children to see a woman who can nurture and lead… not just argue and post reels.
Rohit:
I want to stop resenting.
I want to lead this family again — not as boss, but as anchor.
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PART FOUR: THE CHILDREN SPEAK
Daughter (age 12):
Can we just be together? Like… without phones?
Son (age 9):
And can you both stop arguing at night? It scares me.
Madhukar (smiling):
Children are truth without packaging.
They just want presence, not positions.
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PART FIVE: ONE YEAR LATER
Scene returns to same mud home. This time, all four walk in together. The mother has gentle lines of softness, not tension. Father stands straighter. The children laugh freely.
Anita:
I chose my roles consciously this time. I cook 3 days a week, and we clean together every Friday evening with music on.
It no longer feels like slavery. It feels like service.
I stopped calling my responsibilities “burdens.”
I stopped performing feminism.
Now I just live as a woman.
Rohit:
I didn’t disappear anymore. I hold space. I work less. We started a small family project growing mushrooms on the terrace. We all work in it. It changed us.
Daughter:
Appa doesn’t shout anymore.
Amma hugs me every day.
Our home feels like home.
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CONCLUSION BY MADHUKAR:
When everyone wants to be king, the house becomes a battlefield.
But when each person chooses their role with love — and accepts their limits —
Even a hut becomes a kingdom.
Empowerment is not domination.
And tradition is not slavery.
They both become poison only when performed without honesty.
You are not here to win. You are here to weave.
Weave roles. Weave love. Weave lives.
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“A GODDESS WHO NEVER COOKED”
she wore bangles like they were medals
and carried a phone like a flag of war.
every complaint was a manifesto.
every silence a protest.
she said
“I am not your maid. not your mother. not your mirror.”
and god help the man who forgot to say sorry
for things he didn’t do.
he watched himself disappear
into her freedom
like dust under an expensive rug.
he held his breath for ten years
until their son asked,
“Appa, why are your eyes always scared?”
she posted quotes about energy exchange
while her in-laws sat coughing in the back room.
the dog barked to go out.
no one listened.
the child played with light.
the father played dead.
the mother played woke.
then one night,
she burned the quinoa.
not metaphorically — really.
fire. alarm.
panic.
raw rice turned black truth.
and for the first time,
she laughed.
she picked up the broom.
it felt like betrayal.
but the dust didn’t scream feminist slurs.
it just moved.
she cleaned a little corner.
not for likes.
not for love.
just because it was ugly.
and ugliness was no longer romantic.
she made rasam the next week.
he cried while tasting it.
not because it was good,
but because it didn’t come with a price tag.
they folded into each other
like cracked pages from the same book.
no more queen.
no more servant.
just two tired beasts
learning how to build a nest
before the world ends.
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empowerment isn’t escape.
it’s returning to the same prison
and planting a tree in the middle of the cell.
you feed it.
you water it.
and sometimes
you sit quietly
in the shade
you grew together.
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