WHY INDIAN CHILDREN ARE GETTING ADDICTED TO PORN — & WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
- Madhukar Dama
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
A brutally honest guide for every parent, teacher, and adult who still dares to care
---
INTRODUCTION
In a country where children touch the feet of elders,
they are also swiping their screens — silently, secretly — to watch sex.
Not once. Not twice.
Sometimes every night.
Sometimes every hour.
And they don’t know why.
And you don’t know either.
This is not about “bad parenting.”
This is not about “Western influence.”
This is about neglect, silence, and false innocence.
Porn addiction is not just a tech issue.
It’s an emotional famine.
It’s a response to a home that has everything —
except honest touch, guidance, conversation, and love.
---
SECTION 1: WHAT IS PORN ADDICTION?
It’s not about watching once.
It’s not curiosity.
Porn addiction means:
Repeated watching despite knowing it feels wrong
Watching to feel good, escape pain, or sleep
Needing more extreme content over time
Feeling shame, guilt, or emotional numbness
Losing interest in real friendships, hobbies, or studies
Using it to cope with loneliness, boredom, or anxiety
Difficulty stopping even after making resolutions
---
SECTION 2: HOW EARLY IS IT STARTING IN INDIA?
Average first exposure in India: 10–12 years
Some as early as 8 years old due to smartphones at home
Peak addiction range: 13–24 years
Boys more likely, but girls increasingly affected too
Children access it mostly through:
Phones gifted by parents
School friends
Gaming apps with ads
“Educational” videos gone wrong
Accidental links, then curiosity builds
Lack of supervision or filters
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SECTION 3: WHY ARE CHILDREN GETTING ADDICTED?
a. Absence of real affection
No hugs. No cuddles. No foot massages. No “you matter.” They crave touch — porn fakes it.
b. Extreme loneliness
Homes full of people. Zero emotional presence. Parents are tired, busy, or emotionally absent.
c. No real sex education
If you never teach truth, they will learn lies. Most parents say: “Don’t talk about it.”
Porn says: “Come, I’ll show you everything.”
d. Addictive technology
Fast internet. Cheap phones. 24/7 access. No rituals, no bedtime, no limits.
e. Shame culture
Body = dirty
Sex = evil
Touch = dangerous
No wonder they hide everything.
f. Stress and anxiety
Studies. Pressure. Competition. Loneliness. Porn becomes the easiest escape.
g. Peer pressure
When friends watch and laugh about it,
not watching feels like weakness.
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SECTION 4: WHAT DOES PORN DO TO A CHILD’S MIND?
Rewires brain circuits — dopamine spikes make real life feel boring
Creates distorted body image — they believe everyone must look “perfect”
Builds fake ideas of love and intimacy — sex becomes performance
Reduces empathy — constant objectification of bodies
Kills concentration — mind constantly wanders to images
Triggers shame cycles — “I’m bad” feeling causes anxiety
Delays emotional growth — they stop talking and start hiding
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SECTION 5: HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS ADDICTED?
They may:
Avoid eye contact
Seem withdrawn or irritable
Always cling to their phone
Refuse to sleep on time
Hide browser history
Lie about screen time
Seem anxious or depressed without reason
Stop participating in family or outdoor time
Lose interest in studies or hobbies
Remember — they won’t tell you.
You must become safe enough for them to open up.
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SECTION 6: WHAT CAN YOU DO AS A PARENT OR TEACHER?
1. Stay calm
Never shame them. That’s how the addiction grows.
2. Talk early, talk often
Don’t wait for “the right age.”
If they can scroll, they’re ready to hear the truth.
3. Use real words for body parts
Stop calling private parts “that thing.”
Teach naming with respect, not fear.
4. Hug them daily
Affectionate, non-sexual touch is the strongest emotional immunity.
5. Set healthy screen boundaries
Phones outside bedrooms. No screens after 9 PM. Parental locks. Downtime apps.
6. Make them feel seen
One meal together. One walk together. One conversation — every day.
7. Let them cry, be messy, ask stupid questions
If you don’t listen, the internet will.
8. Introduce them to real intimacy
Let them see you love your spouse.
Not perfectly — but kindly.
9. Help them replace the addiction
With art, music, physical work, gardening, cooking — anything real, raw, and engaging.
10. Be the example
If you’re addicted to screens or numb in your marriage, they’ll follow.
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CONCLUSION
Porn isn’t destroying Indian children.
Silence is.
A home full of phones, gifts, and English doesn’t heal them.
What heals is:
Hugs.
Questions.
Truth.
Time.
Touch.
Tears.
Courage.
Your child does not need you to be perfect.
Just present.
And honest.
And willing to rebuild —
starting now.
—
HEALING DIALOGUE
“HE DOESN’T TALK TO US ANYMORE”
A couple visits Madhukar the Hermit, worried about their 14-year-old son’s screen obsession and silence.
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Father (Rahul):
We don’t know what’s going on.
Our son has changed completely.
Always in his room, glued to the phone.
Rude. Quiet. Sometimes angry for no reason.
We caught him watching…
you know…
porn.
Mother (Nivedita):
I was shocked.
He’s only 14.
We didn’t even know how to speak to him.
We just screamed that day.
And now he avoids us completely.
Madhukar:
You screamed because you were afraid.
But he started watching because he was alone.
Rahul:
We’re always home!
We give him everything!
Good school, gadgets, pocket money, even privacy!
Madhukar:
Yes.
But no presence.
No conversation.
No permission to ask real questions.
No moments where he can say, “I feel confused.”
---
Nivedita (whispers):
I don’t know when he last hugged me.
When he was small, he would sleep on my lap.
Now I can’t even go near him.
Madhukar:
He misses that lap.
He just doesn’t know how to ask for it anymore.
So he asks a screen to show him what closeness looks like.
But the screen cannot give him love.
Only stimulation.
---
Rahul:
I feel so ashamed.
We work hard to give him a better life.
Why would he fall into this?
Madhukar:
Because you forgot to tell him the truth about the body.
Because you handed him a phone, but never told him what it can do to the soul.
Because you outsourced love to Wi-Fi.
---
Nivedita:
Is there any way back?
Madhukar:
Yes.
But not through lectures or threats.
Not by blocking apps.
Not by making him feel like a criminal.
Begin with a sentence he doesn’t expect to hear:
“We are sorry. We were not there.”
Then tell him what love really means.
That the body is sacred.
That curiosity is okay.
That he can talk about anything.
Without fear.
---
Rahul:
Even if he laughs at us?
Madhukar:
Yes.
Because behind that laugh is a scared, lonely boy.
A boy who never wanted porn.
Just someone who could touch his shoulder and say:
“You’re not wrong. You’re not dirty. You’re just lost. Come back.”
—
“THEY GAVE HIM A PHONE, NOT A HAND”
they gave him
a phone
on his 10th birthday.
wrapped it in shiny lies
like
“this is your future,”
“this will help you learn,”
“this will keep you busy.”
they forgot
to give him
a hand to hold
when his body
started shaking with
questions.
they told him
nothing about desire,
nothing about shame,
nothing about love
that isn't pornographic.
they fed him
wifi,
curt instructions,
and the silence
of two tired parents
scrolling in opposite corners
of the same dead room.
they thought
he was safe
because he was indoors.
but he was inside
a jungle of pixels
where
love moaned like lust,
and touch
looked like violence,
and women
became thumbnails
he could delete.
he came back
to the dinner table
with hollow eyes.
they thought it was puberty.
no,
it was hunger.
not for sex —
but for meaning.
for someone to say:
“your body is not dirty.”
“your feelings are not wrong.”
“come sit next to me. cry if you want. I won’t leave.”
they never said that.
so he never asked again.
and the only thing
he held at night
was a phone
that never hugged back.
—
