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  • Writer's pictureMadhukar Dama

WHO AM I?

Am I MADHUKAR?

Yes my name is Madhukar. My parents named me so. It is an identity decided by my parents to intimately identify me as an individual separate from all the people that are around there. It was made sure that there were no other Madhukar around when I was named. Or, the existing Madhukar's were far enough so that there will be no confusions. My paternal aunt (Sharu Atti) was the one who chose my name. It is obvious that my name would have been any other name if my aunt thought otherwise or there was already a Madhukar around. Hence, all these external factors & situations made me Madhukar. I would easily not have been Madhukar too.


Am I DAMA?

I inherited my family name, which is Dama. My family name is an identity bestowed by the community in the past. Just like my name, it was also aimed at identifying and differentiating my direct ancestors. Family names were usually specific for a working class. My direct ancestors were making leather shoes and footwears. Someone in our immediate locality named our immediate ancestors as Dama, and it stuck. Hence, Dama was an identity for people who were shoemakers in our region. As such the word Dama has no meaning. If the reasons and circumstances would have been different, or if the name Dama was pre-existing, my ancestors would have been definitely given other family name. When I look around, there is a proof for this. Shoemakers in just other parts of my village have different family names (like Waghmare). And there are many such identities for the shoemaking working class in neighbouring places. Hence, this identity called Dama, depends on the place and circumstances. Hence, all these external situations & factors made me Dama. I would easily not have been Dama too.


A look at all my social identities ends with same conclusion. All these identities have started at different point in the past. And these originated for identifying a group based on some characteristics like the profession, food habits, worshipping habits and so on. Any situational change in the past when these identities were imparted based on various factors like race/ethnicity, social class/socioeconomic status, (dis)abilities, and religion/religious beliefs would have given me a different social identity. If there would have been a different situation in the past when these identities were imparted, my social identities would have been different too.


Am I a VETERINARIAN?

Yes I am. Because I completed a graduate course after which one gains this identity. I was interested in studying about biology & life related topics. I found getting into a Veterinary College as the most suitable choice based on various factors. The Veterinary College was very near to my home. Veterinary degree was affordable. Veterinary degree would make me a Doctor, which I liked to be. My joining Veterinary Degree would not affect my brother's education as we were financially poor. If there would have been difference in any of these factors at that time, I would have ended up studying a different specialty. Or I may not have studied anything also!. I would easily not have been a Veterinarian too if there would have been different circumstances.


Am I a BROTHER?

Yes I am a brother to three siblings. Their existence creates this identity for me. Similarly, my existence gives them an identity of being a brother. If I would not have existed, they would not have been a brother. If they would not have existed, I would not have been a brother too.


Similarly, all my relationship identities depends on existence of others. I am a Son, as my parents exist. I am a husband, as I have a wife. I am a father, as I have children. I am a friend, as I have friends. I am an Uncle, as I have nieces. And so on it goes. I would not have been any or all of these, if others in these equations cease to exist. All my relationship identities are determined externally by the existence of others.


Am I a MALE?

Yes I am a male. Other identities based on gender, sexual orientation and so on are also based on external factors and situations. I am a male and my sexual orientation is heterosexual. I would easily have been a female if my sex chromosome genetic composition would have been XX. This was again a chance based outcome based on the circumstances in my mothers womb when I was conceived. I would easily have been a female too. I am a heterosexual because my genes and chromosomes that determine my sexuality are operating to make me so. If there would have been any mutations in my genes, which is a chance event and can happen to anybody, I would have had other sexual orientations like LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex).


Am I an INDIAN?

Yes I am. I have so many geographical identities. I am an Indian as the place I was born is named so sometime in the past. Within India, I am identified with the state of Karnataka. Within Karnataka, I am identified with the district of Bidar. Within Bidar, I am identified with the Taluk of Basvakalyan. Within Basavakalyan, I am identified with the village of Rajeshwar. I now live in a farm that is identified with Kalaburgi district. And so on these identities go on. All of my geographical identities, without exception are determined by factors external to me, which is again just by a chance.


Am I BROWN?

Yes I am brown. Colour of my skin is determined by the distance from equator. On the equator, sunlight intensity & sunshine duration are highest. This much of sunlight is harmful for the body. To minimize the entry of excess sunlight into the body, a black pigment called melanin is produced. As we move farther from equator, towards north & south poles, intensity of sunshine as well as duration of sunlight decreases. Hence there is no need to produce melanin if I am living at poles. And there is a gradient of colours as we move from Equator towards poles. The place where my ancestors have lived from centuries has neither high nor low sunshine, hence my colour is somewhere between black and fair, that is brown. At this location, if I am too fair, I would suffer sunburns and skin cancers. If I am too black, I may not be able to absorb enough sunshine and produce vitamin D. My skin colour is determined by external factor, that is my location. I would have been fair or black if my geography would have been different.


Similarly there are many identities like educated, skilled, rich, recluse, antisocial, social activist, farmer, villager, sustainable, healer, scientist, businessman, statistician, writer, employee, simple living, poor, stupid, idiot and so on, which have been imparted to me by the ideas which other people have about the way I am living. These are all external identities based on the presence of an observer who puts these labels on me.


I have a serious problem with all these identities (without any exception). When I identify myself with any of these, it also simultaneously means that I am not any the other which is excluded by the particular identity. For instance:


When I say I am Madhukar (or Dama, Veterinarian, Brother, Indian, Brown, Male, Heterosexual, and so on) it also means I am not Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and so on.


SURVIVAL: Madhukar survive only when there is continuous access to air, water, food, sunlight, and soil. There is no other factor necessary for Madhukar's survival. Madhukar becomes physically sick and eventually dies if he don't get access to any of these. Madhukar is made from these elements. And eventually when Madhukar dies, his body is consumed by microbes, broken down and becomes soil. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all names. Differences in name & identities does not have any bearing on resources needed for survival. We all depend on same resources (without exception), whatever our names and identities may be (without exception), for survival.


SAFETY: Madhukar feels safe and secure when he has clothing, a home, employment, property and stable surroundings. If this is not met, he will get anxious, stressed, depressed, and may kill himself. Madhukar needs Safety to continue survival. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all names. Differences in name & identities does not have any bearing on resources needed for safety. We all depend on same resources (without exception), whatever our names and identities may be (without exception), for safety.


ATTACHMENT: Madhukar needs to be loved & needs people to love. This means he needs healthy attachments with other people, a group, or society and so on. In absence of love, friends, relationships, intimacy, support & belonging, Madhukar get's lonely, stressed, depressed, suicidal and so on. Madhukar needs attachments to continue survival. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all names. Differences in name & identities does not have any bearing on resources needed for attachments. We all depend on same resources (without exception), whatever our names and identities may be (without exception), for attachments.


ESTEEM: In addition to survival, Madhukar needs to have respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength & freedom. When these needs are met, Madhukar is able to be a integral part of the society. Madhukar is a social being. If esteem needs are not met, he will be unfit or a misfit in the society. Others will not value him & won't find worthy of attachment. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all names. Differences in name & identities does not have any bearing on resources needed for functioning in society. We all depend on same resources (without exception), whatever our names and identities may be (without exception), for social life.


BEST OF EVERYTHING: Madhukar want's to do best in whatever he does. He wants to have access to the best air, water and food. He wants a good home, health, clothing and so on. He wants to have best of everything. He does not stop here. He wants to have best for his wife and children, parents, siblings, their spouse and children, his friends and community and so on. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all names. Differences in name & identities does not have any bearing on our intensions. We all wants to do best in whatever we are doing (without exception).


OUR EXTERNAL IDENTITIES LOOK DIFFERENT. OUR NEEDS (WITHOUT EXCEPTION) ARE ABSOLUTELY SIMILAR. EVERYONE (WITHOUT EXCEPTION), NEEDS SAME EXTERNAL FACTORS FOR LIVING. IT MEANS, WE ALL ARE ABSOLUTELY SAME.


Madhukar's body is made of 78 organs (Adrenal glands, Anus, Appendix, Bladder (urinary), Bones, Bone marrow, Brain, Bronchi (tubes in the lungs), Diaphragm (muscle of breathing), Ears, Esophagus (food pipe), Eyes, Fallopian tubes, Gallbladder, Genitals, Heart, Hypothalamus (in the brain), Joints, Kidneys, Large intestine, Larynx (voice box), Liver, Lungs, Lymph nodes, Mammary glands, Mesentery (covering of the intestines), Mouth, Nasal cavity, Nose, Ovaries, Pancreas, Pineal gland, Parathyroid glands, Pharynx, Pituitary gland, Prostate, Rectum, Salivary glands, Skeletal muscles, Skin, Small intestine, Spinal cord, Spleen, Stomach, Teeth, Thymus gland, Thyroid, Trachea, Tongue, Ureters, Urethra, Uterus, Human skeleton, Ligaments (connect muscles to bones), Tendons (connect bones to bones), Blood cells, Vagina, Hair, The vestibular system of the ear, Placenta, Testes, Nails, Vas deferens, Seminal vesicles, Bulbourethral glands, Penis, Scrotum, Parathyroid glands, Thoracic ducts, Arteries, Veins, Capillaries, Lymphatic vessels, Tonsils (Waldeyer’s ring of tissues), Nerves, Subcutaneous tissue, Olfactory epithelium (nose), & Cerebellum. Underlined organs depends on gender. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all.


Madhukar's body is made of about 10 trillion cells. Around 99.9% of the DNA in Madhukar is identical to all other humans. Almost all the cells inside Madhukar have DNA, the exception being red blood cells. Madhukar has about 25,000 genes that are made by 3 billion base pairs of DNA. This huge set of genes is always accumulating mutations that leads to variations during my lifetime (diseases in future) and in my progeny. This holds true, without exception for Bheemu, Geeta, Einstein, Jasmine, Pope, Dawood, Ramu, Ambani, Gandhi, Gauramma, Trump, Salman, Jeff, Beerappa, and all.


WHO AM I THEN?


When external factors that are man made for creating identities for various purposes are considered, I have so many identities. I have a name, gender, colour, geography, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, class, creed, relationship, status, and so on. It is never ending. These create a distinct I. I am unlike anybody on entire earth. As I am unlike anybody, I feel entitled to exploit everyone. Bigger the I, more I will exploit others. A bigger I needs lots of efforts to create through social hierarchy, education, greed, fears, wars, conflicts, work and so on. I will have complaints about everything and everyone who disturbs my identity. Everyone around I are also always working to maintain their I. There is always a conflict between my I and other's I. All the relationships are created & maintained to serve I. Each and every relationship needs so much efforts. Living with I is akin to work, control, suffering, diseases, conflicts etc. I needs lots of efforts, so there is a lot of fear of losing I. Death is a fear of losing this I, which was built with so much investment starting from ancestors. I lives in hell. I creates hell just for survival. As there is fear, there will be restlessness to constantly overcome the fear. Greed becomes a tool to accumulate everything that seems like lowering the present and imagined fears. As fears and greed have originated for serving the non-existent man made unreal identities, all this creates stupidity. That's what we see around now. Identities lead to fears, greed and stupidity. And so on it goes...

When concrete and true factors like DNA, genes, cells, organs, air, water, food, soil, sunlight etc are considered, I am exactly like any other human being on earth. I cease to exist. All differences vanish. I am no different. I lose all identities. As there is no I, I have no problems with anybody. All are I. I is all. I is replaced with WE. We are all HUMANS. Life becomes effortless. There is no energy or work needed to create an identity. There is no memory needed to maintain an identity. There will be no differences as there is no identity. There is no conflict with anybody. Everyone is in peace, everyone is in a peaceful relationship. There is no need to create relationships as there are no I's. Everyone is already in relationships. Earth is a heaven. There is no identity, so there is no death. Since there is no death, there is no fear of death. As there is no fear of death, there is no other fear. As there is no fear, there is no greed. As there is no fear & greed, there is no stupidity. There are minimal sufferings, diseases, work and so on. And so on it goes...


I have been on a journey to lose my I's one by one. I have lost my designation, status, many relationships, rituals, cultural myths, affiliations, etc. I am becoming human. I have witnessed a tremendous transformation within. I feel at ease. I feel peaceful. I feel OK with all people. And there is still a long way to go. I am sure it is neither possible nor necessary to get rid of I completely, as some identities are necessary for being part of the large human society. But it is possible to minimize I. It is possible to shift from "I" to "i".


Take Care.

Madhukar

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Madhukar Dama / Savitri Honnakatti, Survey Number 114, Near Yelmadagi 1, Chincholi Taluk, Kalaburgi District 585306, India

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