"WE GAVE THEM EVERYTHING" — A HEALING DIALOGUE ON PARENTAL EGO, CONTROL & LOVE
- Madhukar Dama
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
SETTING: MUD COURTYARD UNDER A NEEM TREE
TIME: LATE AFTERNOON
CHARACTERS: RAMU (72) – HUMBLE BUT EGO-HARDENED FATHER
KAMLA (68) – ILLITERATE, EMOTIONAL, PROUD MOTHER
RAVI (45) – SCHOLAR, ELDEST SON, ABROAD, ESTRANGED
VIKRAM (42) – ENGINEER, DUTIFUL BUT DISTANT
MOHAN (38) – PRINTER, RESPECTABLE BUT NON-CONFRONTATIONAL
SUNIL (35) – WAREHOUSE WORKER, LIVES INDEPENDENTLY
MADHUKAR – THE QUIET HEALER WHO LIVES IN A MUD HUT
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BEGINNING: THE WOUND
KAMLA:
We raised them from scratch.
We fed them with our hands.
We taught them values.
We gave them everything.
And now, not one of them wants to sit with us.
Not one calls us with warmth.
RAMU:
The village once called us the best parents.
They said, "Your sons will go far."
And they did.
But why have they left us behind like stones on the road?
MADHUKAR:
Do you miss your sons?
Or do you miss being praised because of them?
KAMLA:
We loved them!
We sacrificed for them!
How can you even question that?
MADHUKAR:
I’m not questioning your love.
I’m asking whether your love grew thorns over time.
---
THE PRAISE TRAP
RAMU:
When Ravi got a scholarship, people said, "What parents!"
We didn’t even know how to read forms.
Still, he made it.
We felt like we did something big.
KAMLA:
Then Vikram studied too.
We kept pushing them.
We made them who they are!
MADHUKAR:
Yes.
But perhaps, after the world praised you, you started believing you owned their success.
RAMU:
Is it wrong to feel proud of our children?
MADHUKAR:
Pride isn’t wrong.
Possessiveness is.
When pride turns into ownership, love turns into a leash.
---
THE UNSEEN CONTRACT
KAMLA:
But we gave them our blood, our tears!
Don’t we deserve something in return?
MADHUKAR:
Did you ever tell them they were free to be themselves?
Did you ever say, "I will support you even if you don’t agree with me?"
Or did you say, "Obey us because we raised you?"
RAMU:
They should obey.
That’s the culture!
MADHUKAR:
Culture that crushes choice is not culture.
It is control wearing tradition as a mask.
---
THE DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW
KAMLA:
And the women they married?
Arrogant!
They made our sons distant.
They don’t even make tea for us when they visit.
RAMU:
We suspect they turned our sons against us.
MADHUKAR:
Or perhaps your sons were always different inside…
But never had the courage to show it until someone gave them space.
KAMLA:
But I am their mother!
Don’t I have a right to them?
MADHUKAR:
You have a right to love them.
Not to own them.
---
THE MYTH OF THE MARTYR
KAMLA:
I never studied.
But I say I educated my sons.
Did I lie?
MADHUKAR:
You told a half-truth.
You gave the space, the food, the struggle.
But their dreams were their own.
You watered the seed.
But you didn’t become the flower.
RAMU:
Then what did we do wrong?
Why are we left alone?
MADHUKAR:
Because you gave love with terms.
And when they broke the terms, you called it betrayal.
But what you called betrayal… they called freedom.
---
THE FROZEN HEART
KAMLA:
Every phone call ends in silence or anger.
Every festival feels forced.
We are like ghosts in our own house.
RAMU:
They keep secrets.
They laugh more with others than with us.
MADHUKAR:
Because control has a smell.
And fear has a taste.
Children move away from the fire not because they hate it… but because they want to breathe.
---
THE MIRROR
MADHUKAR (brings out a cracked mirror):
Look into this.
This is your love today.
Cracked by expectations.
Still holding the image of a past where you were worshipped.
Still trying to force your sons to reflect your will.
RAMU (quietly):
Can we mend it?
MADHUKAR:
Only if you let go of your version of how it should look.
Only if you ask, "What did they feel when we pushed them?"
"What dreams of theirs did we laugh at?"
---
THE HEALING BEGINS
KAMLA (with tears):
What do we do now?
MADHUKAR:
Call them.
Say, "I am sorry for loving with pride."
Say, "You are free to live, marry, think differently."
Say, "I am your home, not your jail."
And then be silent.
Let them come when they are ready.
RAMU:
And if they don’t?
MADHUKAR:
Then you will have still found peace.
Because love that drops control is peace.
Not every love is returned.
But every ego dropped is healing.
---
A LETTER ARRIVES A WEEK LATER
RAVI (voice-over):
"Amma, Appa — I cried when I heard your message.
For the first time, you didn’t try to be right.
You tried to love.
I want to come home.
Let’s sit like we used to.
Under the neem tree.
No conditions.
No blame.
Just heart."
---
---
ONE YEAR LATER – UNDER THE NEEM TREE
KAMLA SITS ON A CHARPAI, THREADING BEADS. RAMU STARES INTO THE DISTANCE.
THE WISE HEALER ARRIVES, QUIETLY TAKES A SEAT.
HEALER
You called me again, Kamla?
KAMLA
I thought you should see what we’ve become.
RAMU
One year.
And the house doesn’t feel like a house.
Just walls… with names written in dust.
HEALER
Let’s open the doors.
Tell me the truth, as it is.
No sugar. No shame.
---
SON ONE – THE FURTHEST GONE
KAMLA
He didn’t come for Diwali.
Didn’t come when his child was born.
He sent sweets.
No note.
No voice.
Just a courier man at the door.
RAMU
He won’t speak to us.
His wife sends formal messages.
Our calls go unanswered.
HEALER
Why do you think he stays away?
KAMLA
He says we treated him like a soldier, not a son.
That we used his success as a badge.
That we made him feel guilty for thinking differently.
RAMU
We gave him everything.
Now we get silence.
HEALER
You gave him the roof.
But did you give him the freedom to fly?
(No answer)
---
SON TWO – PARTIALLY STRAYED
KAMLA
He still visits.
But not the same way.
RAMU
His eyes watch every word.
His wife won’t eat anything Kamla cooks.
They stay in a hotel when they visit.
KAMLA
She’s polite now.
Better than before.
But her smiles end at her lips.
HEALER
Politeness isn’t peace.
What keeps him half-in, half-out?
RAMU
He says he doesn’t want a rift.
But he also doesn’t want control.
He won’t let us tell his children what to do.
HEALER
Maybe he’s protecting them from the chain he wore.
---
SON THREE – THE ONE WHO RETURNED
KAMLA
Only this one comes with a full heart.
He eats with us.
He argues, laughs, sits under the neem tree.
RAMU
His wife also softened.
Still careful.
But she asks me about my knees.
And she got Kamla a new saree last week.
HEALER
Why did he return fully?
KAMLA
He says —
"Maybe you were wrong, Ma.
But you’re still mine."
HEALER
Forgiveness is the courage to carry imperfection with love.
---
SON FOUR – NEUTRAL
RAMU
This one keeps it safe.
Calls. Sends money.
Doesn’t visit often.
Doesn’t argue. Doesn’t fight.
KAMLA
His wife keeps distance.
No complaints.
No affection either.
HEALER
Not closeness. Not conflict.
A quiet arm’s length.
---
DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW – THE DISTANT PEACE
KAMLA
All four of them now talk to me.
They wish me on birthdays.
They’ve started calling me "Amma" again.
RAMU
But not one lets their child sleep over.
Not one opens their home for us.
HEALER
They’ve forgiven with their tongues.
But their hearts are still healing.
KAMLA
Can you blame them?
HEALER
No.
Wounds that were daily... don’t vanish in months.
---
THE FINAL REFLECTION
RAMU
I used to think they were ungrateful.
Now I see...
We were ungraceful.
KAMLA
I thought being a mother meant being obeyed.
Now I understand...
It means being remembered with peace.
HEALER
Not all homes return to the way they were.
But if even one chair is warm again...
It’s a beginning.
KAMLA
Do you think they’ll ever come back… all of them?
HEALER
Some doors remain half-closed forever.
But even a half-open door lets light in.
RAMU
We’ve stopped waiting with blame.
Now we wait with humility.
HEALER
That is healing.
Not perfection.
Just honest waiting... with no expectations.
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