WATERING PLASTIC PLANTS: HOW INDIAN FAMILIES MISTAKE RITUALS FOR REAL GROWTH
- Madhukar Dama
- 11 hours ago
- 3 min read
INTRODUCTION
In countless Indian homes, from the smallest village to the busiest city apartment, a strange drama is unfolding every day:
Everyone is busy. Everyone is sure they are improving. Everyone is proud of their "efforts."
But underneath all this noise, nothing real is changing.
Because almost everything they do is just a ritual — empty, mechanical, disconnected from real life.
And worse, they don't even know it.
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THE DAILY RITUALS OF SELF-DECEPTION
Here’s what an average day in such a family might look like:
Morning yoga, while replaying yesterday’s office insults in the mind.
Temple visits, while silently wishing harm to an old rival.
Sharing motivational quotes on WhatsApp, while snapping at one's spouse.
Boasting about organic food, while secretly eating Haldiram snacks.
Declaring "health first," while ignoring daily sugar addiction.
Proudly avoiding medicine for a day, while bingeing on Netflix at night.
Telling children to be honest, while lying about reasons for skipping work.
Each ritual acts like a mask, covering up the real emotional diseases rotting inside:
jealousy, fear, anger, laziness, greed, competition, loneliness, arrogance.
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WHY RITUALS ARE SO ATTRACTIVE
Rituals are easy to copy.
(You don’t have to invent your own path.)
Rituals are socially approved.
(Everyone claps for you. “Oh, she does yoga daily!”)
Rituals give instant emotional relief.
(You feel you’ve "done something," even when nothing important has moved.)
Rituals protect you from real self-confrontation.
(If I chant 108 times, I can avoid looking at my selfishness.)
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WHAT REAL GROWTH REQUIRES
Real growth demands what rituals cannot give:
Silent digestion of your worst emotions.
Taking small, humble actions without praise.
Radical honesty about addictions and hypocrisies.
Changing deep habits when no one is watching.
Choosing natural simplicity over flashy spiritual posturing.
It is a lonely, painful, thankless journey.
And that's why most families prefer rituals instead of reality.
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CONSEQUENCES OF A RITUALISTIC LIFE
Emotional stagnation disguised as "tradition."
Broken relationships hidden behind festive selfies.
Lifelong health issues despite "morning walks" and "detox juices."
Generational transmission of fear, guilt, and control — camouflaged as "values."
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THE BIGGEST TRAGEDY
Everyone thinks they are watering a lush garden.
But they are just watering plastic plants.
And when no flowers bloom — they blame destiny, planets, karma, or their children.
No one stops to ask:
> "Maybe the plant was never alive."
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"THE HERMIT WHO REFUSED TO CHANT"
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Setting:
A dusty village in Karnataka.
Under a giant neem tree, sits Madhukar — a lean, serene old hermit in simple white cotton.
A young man, Pranay, visiting from Bengaluru, comes to him after hearing stories of his "strange wisdom."
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Pranay:
"Namaste, Madhukar-ji. Everyone says you are a very wise man. Can you teach me a few rituals to find peace?"
Madhukar: (smiling)
"Peace is not found by adding rituals, child. It is found by removing lies."
Pranay: (confused)
"But isn’t chanting good? Yoga good? Meditation good?"
Madhukar:
"Everything is good…
Until it becomes a cage.
Until it becomes a trick to avoid cleaning the wounds inside."
Pranay:
"But... daily rituals give me a sense of discipline!"
Madhukar: (gently)
"Discipline without digestion is constipation.
You can sit straight and chant a thousand names of God...
But if your heart still burns with jealousy, what use is that chanting?"
Pranay: (lowering eyes)
"Then... what should I do?"
Madhukar:
"Start with small, uncelebrated honesty.
Can you forgive someone today without announcing it?
Can you stop one harmful craving without making a Facebook post?
Can you return love for insult once this month — without a quote to prove it?"
Pranay:
(quietly) "That's...harder than rituals."
Madhukar:
"Exactly.
Real healing is silent, clumsy, ugly, boring.
Rituals are colorful. Healing is colorless."
Pranay:
(after a long pause)
"Then... why does every family, every elder, every book recommend rituals?"
Madhukar:
"Because rituals are easier to teach.
Real change cannot be taught.
It can only be burned into your being by living, falling, failing, weeping."
(a dusty gust of wind blows through the neem leaves)
Madhukar:
"Child — if your whole family is watering plastic plants,
you don’t have to break their pots.
Just quietly find real soil...
And plant a seed in your own heart."
Pranay: (eyes full)
"I understand now.
Not more rituals...
Less pretending."
Madhukar: (smiling)
"Yes.
Grow roots, not rituals."
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SUMMARY QUOTE
"When you are truly healing, nobody claps, nobody notices — and even you doubt yourself.
When you are just doing rituals, the whole world claps, and you feel like a king.
Choose the silent road. Grow roots, not rituals."
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